Georgia (name changed for confidentiality) got stuck in the process of writing her business plan. She was holding back because she was afraid of the judgment and criticism she expected from a collaborative business partner.
When she redefined "judgment and criticism" as "valuable research and input that would help her build a stronger case,” she gained confidence and got motivated to move forward. She was even able to learn from her own “inner critic.” With courage she was able to focus and get the job done within one week!
When considering a wish, a big goal or a major change, one that might take a lot of energy and courage, sometimes the courage or clarity isn't there.
Sometimes we get stuck when we're afraid we don't have the know-how.
Sometimes we get stuck when we're afraid we will be judged or embarrassed.
Sometimes we get stuck when we're afraid we will fail, make mistakes or lose something valuable.
Sometimes we get stuck when we're afraid that by succeeding, there will be new, unknown headaches!
Sometimes we're not even aware of how fear gets in our way.
This is only relevant with regard to WHAT YOU WANT to occur.
1. Notice it in your body – when you notice that you’re procrastinating or nervous, find that part of your body that is experiencing a sensation or feeling, and let yourself imagine that its wired to a blinking light - “yellow alert.”
2. Identify the thoughts and interpretations that are yielding the fears – Make a list of your concerns, feelings, fears or obstacles.
3. For each one, write down something about these four insights:
a. Is the fear about not having the information or skill necessary to succeed. Then make some plans to get the information or training you need.
b. Are you feeling a fear of failure - write down what failing means, and then try to succeed anyway … it builds confidence. Reference the GROWTH ZONE MAP from the book “Income Double – Half the Trouble” – here’s a link to the handout. http://www.jfcoach.com/sites/jfcoach.com/files/comfort_zone.pdf
a. Is it the fear of losing something? If so, what do you have to secure to be able to move forward?
b. Is it the fear of success? What comes with succeeding or pursuing success that you’d rather avoid? It’s really, if you succeed at achieving your goal, you’ll fail in some other area… how about having both? What will that take? Write stuff down… ask people…. Get coaching on this subject and don’t give up!!!! If you don’t give up, you can’t fail.
4. Use these perspectives, your friends or your coaching to overcome each fear on the list, until there’s nothing left to just do it (or notice when you’re ready to chuck the exercise and just do it anyway!
"Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use." - Ruth Gordon, actress ("Harold and Maude")
And always remember, the things we are afraid of are often not as difficult as we think they are.
Jonathan Flaks, M.C.C., Business Success Coach - http://www.jfcoach.com. Since 1998, Jonathan has been helping entrepreneurs, business owners and professionals focus on and reach ambitious goals, maintain continuous confidence and motivation, and achieve balanced success. Jonathan maintains a Master Certified Coach distinction from the International Coach Federation. He earned a dual degree from Cornell University and was Adjunct Professor in Business Leadership and Coaching Skills for New York University. Clients have come from BMG Entertainment, Morgan-Stanley-Smith-Barney, KPMG, Disney, Deloitte, Honeywell, Goldman Sachs, and many entrepreneurial and professional service firms. If you want to start every week with a positive, confident attitude, visit Monday Morning Mini-Motivation Meetings.