Early Deprivation: Can It Be Harder For Someone To Handle A Loss If They Experienced Early Deprivation?

Recently, someone may have experienced a loss, and since then, they might not have been in a good way. If this is the case, they are going to be in a position where they find it hard to function.

Now, they might have experienced a breakup or lost a loved one. Either way, they can find it hard to get out of bed each morning, can alternate between feeling sad and being numb during the day, and struggle to sleep at night.

Totally Unsettled

Thanks to this, they are unlikely to have a great deal of energy, which can make it hard for them to perform at their best at work. And when they are not at work, they can have very little interest in doing anything.

If they haven’t spoken about what is going on, their manager and colleagues can wonder what is going on, as can their friends. Then again, they might have opened up about what is going on, which can mean that most, if not all, of the people in their life will be understanding and supportive.

External Feedback

In addition to this, they might have been told that they just need to reach out if they are not in a good way and need someone to talk to. This can show that these people understand what they are going through, due to having been in the same position before.

Naturally, having this support is going to make it easier for them to handle what they are going through and gradually be able to embrace life again. Their life won’t ever go back to normal as it will never be the same again, but they can create a new normal.

An Important part

For them to gradually embrace life again, it will be important for them to face how they feel and allow themselves to cry out the pain inside them. Along with this, writing about what is going on inside them can also help.

As the weeks, months and even years pass, they may find that they are gradually able to embrace life again. This doesn’t mean that they will have forgotten about what happened or that thinking about what happened won’t affect them anymore; no, what it means is that it won’t stop them from living life.

Another Scenario

Alternatively, although weeks, months and even years have passed since they experienced a breakup or a loss, it might not have been possible for them to embrace life again. When they look back on how they have been, and are, it can be as if time has stood still.

So, they can typically still find it hard to get out of bed, alternate between feeling sad and emotionally numb during the day, and struggle to sleep at night. After they have reflected on what is going on, they can feel frustrated and helpless and hopeless.

One Conclusion

What might enter their mind is that there is something inherently wrong with them. If they were to talk to a friend or a few friends about this, they might be told that they are “holding on” and need to “let go”.

What they might end up doing is talking to their doctor about what is going on, and they could recommend that they go on medication. This can be put forward as the solution that will allow them to be able to live their life.

Another Angle

Now, irrespective of whether they are offered medication, there can be a good reason why they are in this position. The grief that they experienced might not have purely been the result of the breakup or loss.

Instead, what they experienced might have unlocked some of the grief that had been held inside their unconscious mind. This grief might have been held inside this part of them since their formative years.

A Closer Look

If this were the case, the loss that they experienced as an adult would have undermined the defensive structure that they had in place. Ultimately, their system wouldn’t have been able to carry any more pain, and thus, this loss would have weakened the defensive structure that kept their pain at bay and allowed them to keep it together and function.

Their formative years may have been a time when one or both of their parents were emotionally unavailable and out of reach. It would then have been normal for them to be rejected and left.

A Tough Time

Due to what one or both of them were like, this would have been a stage of their life that was full of loss. But, as they couldn’t connect to one or both of their parents and they were not developed enough to face and work through how they felt, how they felt had to be repressed by their brain.

This would have allowed them to keep it together and function, as opposed to being overwhelmed by pain. Layers and layers of pain would then have built up inside them.

Moving Forward

What this illustrates is that even though their pain was repressed and their conscious mind forgot all about it, it didn’t actually disappear. They are going to be carrying a lot of pain, which is why it will take longer for them to be able to embrace life again.

With this in mind, it will be essential for them to continue to face and cry out the pain that is inside them. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.