Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Be Very Inhibited?

If someone were to step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that they have trouble freely expressing themselves. What can be normal is for them to feel restricted and ignore how they feel and their needs.

As a result of this, it won’t matter if they are by themselves or around others, as they generally won’t be themselves. Thus, who they are will seldom, if ever, see the light of day.

Nothing New

If they were to look back on their life, they may find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. What might then enter their mind is that they were simply born this way.

But, if they have been this way for as long as they can remember, this is not going to be a surprise. Even so, there is a strong chance that they were not born this way.

A Closer Look

Anyway, thanks to how they typically experience life, they are likely to spend a lot of time feeling trapped. If they were to describe what their experience of life is like, they could say that it is like living in an invisible prison.

So, when they are by themselves and around others, they will have the tendency to behave in a certain way. When they are by themselves, they can often feel the need to go out or to try something different, but that could be about as far as it will go.

The Other Side

This can be because they experience a fair amount of anxiety and even fear. What they want to do will then be seen as something that is not safe, which will cause them to ignore it.

On the other hand, when they are around others, they can often automatically overlook how they feel and certain needs. The outcome of this is that they can generally stay in the background and not say a great deal to others.

External Feedback

If another person were to describe them, they could say that they are shy and quiet, for instance. They might also say that they come across as aloof, with it being as though they don’t enjoy being around others.

Assuming that they were to speak to someone who has this view of them, they could say that they are not shy or quiet, and neither is it their intention to come across as aloof, but that they can’t help being this way. And, if this other person were to get to know them, they themselves might soon realise this.

A Bleak Existence

What is clear is that for them to live a fulfilling life, they will need to be able to freely express themselves. For this to take place, they will need to feel safe enough to both listen to and be themselves.

Until this takes place, they can spend a lot of time feeling frustrated and down. They might often struggle to get out of bed and question whether they want to be alive.

Going Deeper

Now, as to why they are experiencing life in this way, it can largely be a consequence of what took place during their formative years and the impact it had on them. This may have been a time when they missed out on the attunement and care that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

Their mother and perhaps their father might have been emotionally unavailable and out of reach. Along with this, one or both of them might have been very critical and controlling.

An Oppressive Environment

It might then have been as though they were on a stage, and just about every move was scrutinised. So, what they said, how they behaved and what they wore may have been criticised.

In the beginning, they might have stood up for themselves, but even if they did, as time passed, they would have gradually adapted to what was going on. In this case, they would have soon had the need to control themselves and be very careful when it came to what they said and did, with this being a way for them to try to minimise the harm that was done to them.

Broken Down

If they hadn’t gone from someone who freely expressed themselves to someone who continually monitored themselves and said and did very little, they would have suffered even more. The challenge is that while this stage of their life is over and they are now free to be themselves, a big part of them won’t realise this.

Furthermore, what their mother and/or father said will now be part of their inner critic, and this voice will speak up whenever they behave in a way that goes against their early conditioning. This part of them also won’t know that, as this stage of their life is over, they no longer need to behave in this way to survive.

Moving Forward

To change their inner world, they are likely to have beliefs to question and pain to face and work through. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.