Relationships: Why Would A Man End Up With A Narcissistic Woman?

Even if a woman has the tendency to see other people as an extension of herself and lacks empathy, it doesn’t mean that a man will realise this. Due to this, if a man ends up dating or being in a relationship with her, he can be in for a big surprise.

Now, it could seem strange as to why a man wouldn’t be able to see what a woman is like at the beginning. One way of looking at this would be to say that it wasn’t possible for him to see her clearly at the beginning as she was putting on an act.

A Common Occurrence

It is not uncommon for someone to be one way during the early stages of meeting someone and another as time passes. Therefore, it could be said that this side of her was hidden very early on.

It then wasn’t that he wasn’t able to see clearly, it was that the signs were not there. Due to this, there is going to be no reason for him to criticise and blame himself for the direction that this area of his life has taken.

Another Angle

Nevertheless, what if her appearance and personality played a part in preventing him from being able to see what was right in front of his eyes. So, when he first saw her, he might have been sucked in by how she looked and behaved.

For example, he might have been stunned by how attractive she was and she might have been very charming. He might then have felt as though he had met the perfect woman.

Caught Up

As a result of this, his thinking brain would have been hijacked by his emotions and instincts. From that moment, he would have formed a view of her that was not based on what she was actually like.

After this, it is likely that his brain blocked out any evidence that went against the idealised view of her that he had formed. Yet, if he did become aware of something that showed that something wasn’t right, his mind might have soon rationalised it.

External Feedback

He may have even had a friend or family member point out that he is with a woman who is not right for him. After hearing this, he might have dismissed what they said and even accused them of having something against her.

He might have even pushed at least one person out of his life. Someone who had his best interest at heart would then have been seen as the problem, causing him to lose someone who had his back.

A Big Difference

As the days, weeks, and months have passed, he will have gradually seen how self-absorbed she is. She will then need the focus to be on her and won’t be interested in being there for him.

He can see that, in her eyes, he is like an object that exists to meet her needs, not a separate being that has his own needs and feelings. But, whenever he brings this up, that’s if he does, she could be indifferent and even criticise him.

Lifeless

Thanks to how much he has given throughout their time together and how little he has received, he could be a shadow of the man that he was before. He can often feel drained, helpless and worthless.

It will then be in his best interest to cut his ties with her and walk away but he might not feel strong enough to do so. Moreover, part of him might believe that if he stays with her, she will change.

The Next Stage

Assuming that he is able to cut his ties with her and walk away, it might take him a while to find his feet again. If he thinks about what he went through, he might look back on his life and see that this wasn’t the first time that he has been in this position.

He might see that he has been with at least one other woman who was more or less the same. If so, what might enter his mind is that this is just what women are like.

Going Deeper

But, even if he does believe that this is just what women are like, what is taking place in this area of his life might be a continuation of what it was like for him during his formative years. At this stage of his life, his mother or father might have been very self-absorbed, lacked empathy and seen him as nothing more than an extension of themselves.

It then wouldn’t have been possible for him to emotionally connect with this parent, to be seen and heard by them, and valued. He would have been used by them and felt invisible, worthless, helpless, hopeless, and unloved.

A Tough Time
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To handle being greatly deprived and deeply wounded, his brain would have repressed how he felt and a number of his needs. But, even though his mother or father was unable to love him, most likely due to how underdeveloped and wounded they were, he would have struggled to be loved.

He would have lived in the hope that, if he did what they wanted, they would love him. But, as they were unable to love him, it wouldn’t have mattered what he did.

A Continuation

Many years will have passed since that stage of his life, but he will still be trying to receive his mother’s or father’s love. The wounded parts of him that are repressed will cause him to be drawn to women who are very similar to his mother or father.

These parts of him have no sense of time and are blind, which is why they won’t know that this stage of his life is over and another woman is not his mother or father. The outcome of this is that he will just end up being deprived and wounded all over again.

Moving Forward

For him to change this area of his life, he will have beliefs to question, pain to face and work through and unmet developmental needs to experience. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.