Anger Problems: Can A Man Use Anger To Mask His Hurt?

What can be normal is for a man to feel angry and this could be something that the people in his life are only too aware of. The reason for this is that he could often come across as intense and rude.

It might go further, though, as there could be moments when he is violent and destroys things. But, even if he doesn’t go this far, the people in his life could find it hard to feel at ease around him.

Nothing New

Now, he might have only just become this way or he might have more or less always been this way. If he has only just become this way, his friends and family could wonder what is going on for him.

At least one of these people might have suggested that he needs to learn how to ‘manage’ his anger. By being on the outside, they will be able to see how destructive his anger is on others and himself.

Isolated

There is a strong chance that he has pushed a friend or a family member away and many more could follow if he continues down this path. Consequently, he might spend a fair amount of time by himself.

When he is by himself, he could be just as angry or he could go into a collapsed state. If he is angry, he could think about all the things that have annoyed him and imagine what it would be like to experience revenge.

Soothing Himself

On the other hand, if he has gone into a collapsed state, he will be very low and could find it hard to do anything. Before long, he could end up consuming something or engaging in an activity to try to change his inner state.

However, if he does take this route, he might soon think about something that will get him worked up. For example, he could think about a friend or a colleague who wronged him or an ex-partner who has betrayed him.

Stepping Back

After a while, something could take place that will shake him up and cause him to see that he needs to change his behaviour. He could lose a valued friend, physically harm someone or lose his job.

Either way, it will be enough to make him reflect on his life and think about what is going on. During this time, he may find that he feels deeply hurt and his anger is a way for him to protect himself.

An Automatic Process

What could soon stand out is that he doesn’t choose to get angry and that this is something that just happens. Based on this, for him to no longer be taken over by his anger, he will need to deal with the hurt that is inside him.

If this doesn’t take place, what is really going on for him won’t be dealt with and, as time passes, he could end up being controlled by his anger once more. The next step will be for him to connect to the hurt that is inside him.

Going Deeper

Taking this step will allow him to see why he feels so hurt and also why he has the need to hide his hurt from others. He could find that it relates to what has happened to him as an adult and goes back to what took place during his formative years.

If so, what he has gone through as an adult will be a continuation of what he went through as a child. This may have been a time when one or both of his parents mistreated him in a variety of different ways.

The Other Part

To find out why he has the need to hide his hurt from others, he could imagine talking about how he really feels to a friend. What he may soon find is that he feels anxious and fearful and expects to be rejected and left.

Along with this, he might fear that he will be harmed. This will illustrate that being real is seen as something that is a threat to his very survival and it is then to be expected that he would have such a strong need to hide how he feels.

Deep Wounds

Thanks to what he went through when he was a child, he is going to be carrying a lot of hurt. And, thanks to these experiences, he will continue to have the need to keep his true feelings inside him.

For him to gradually change his life, it will be vital for him to face and work through the pain that is inside him. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.