Communication skills and tools are not just necessary for getting on the same page, making joint decisions and problem solving effectively. They are also indispensable for more deeply understanding each other and warmly flowing in our interactions with our partner. Excellent communication also helps increase our bonding.
Feeling understood is an existential human need… In feeling that the other “gets” us, we feel Known and that we exist… Feeling understood engenders feelings of belonging, being accepted, and safety. This is pretty much at the core of things! This is why it’s super important to use our skills and tools to make sure we get our partner, and others, when we are in our interactions with them.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201706/feelin...
And, with that it goes without saying how super important it is to show them that we got them… This is where the validation step in the Intentional Dialogue comes in. This is the step that partners forget in interactions that crashes the conversation and possibly even leads to a fight.
Equally important is to communicate so our partner can understand us, and to seek confirmation that we were understood.
Interactions don’t have to go south… Most of the time when couples refer to communication problems, they are actually referring to emotionally charged issues and conversations. They can’t communicate well when they are triggered… Which makes complete sense! Employing communication tools and skills has a lot to do with managing ourselves and being mindful to not trigger our partner… Removing roadblocks to communication goes a long way.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sex-matters/201906/good-communic...
https://metrorelationship.com/great-communication-skills-and-tools-are-a...
https://metrorelationship.com/remove-roadblocks-to-great-communication/
And most importantly, when we are mindful of how we show up and how we communicate we are investing in protecting, nurturing, and strengthening our bond…
https://metrorelationship.com/pink-for-bonding/
Strengthening Our Bond
Therefore, it is imperative that we are very intentional and mindful about how we communicate with our partner and what the focus of our conversations are. For who doesn’t want a lovely and strong bond with their Lovey? Right?
I invite you to add having Meaningful Conversations to your Couple Time… Let’s not use couple time for just more binging on Netflix.
https://metrorelationship.com/missing-love-how-is-your-connection-and-in...
Awareness and consciousness about yourself
Do you know what triggers you and why? Do you know what core wound and defense mechanisms you keep playing out, what you contribute to your repeating patterns? Do you know what your needs are and how to meet them? Do you know your Love Language? Getting a deeper understanding of yourself in this way is enlightening and a great investment in your personal development… Then, sharing this with your partner and integrating your new awareness into your interactions is truly transformative…
https://metrorelationship.com/repeating-arguments-how-are-your-relations...
Awesomeness and uniqueness about yourself
How well do you know yourself? Your personal strengths and characteristics, values, and dreams? Exploring these for a fuller awareness and knowing of yourself is a beautiful undertaking to enrich your personal experience. Then, you can share your understandings, discoveries, and what you make of them with your partner. Isn’t this a gorgeous conversation?
https://metrorelationship.com/live-by-your-character-and-practical-stren...
Aspirations and passions about yourself
Have you identified your Purpose, what drives you? Are you focused on that purpose daily? Do you have a vision of your future and your life? Do you have clear goals and milestones? What are you working on? Are your projects, tasks and routines in alignment with your Vision? Getting some clarity around these and aligning your life accordingly makes life so much easier and pleasurable... Then, share what you are up to, your desires, fears, and possible roadblocks with your partner for additional alignment and meaning…
https://metrorelationship.com/why-have-a-100-year-vision-plan/
https://metrorelationship.com/end-of-year-vision-strategy-and-intention-...
Aren’t these delicious? Imaging these are the topics of your conversations most of the time… This is what gives our interactions depth and meaning. These interactions are what strengthen our bond, bring us closer and guide our relationship and life. This is how we create radiance and meaning in our relationship.
APPLICATION: Select the area about you that you want to explore, gain a deeper understand, more clarity and direction to play with… Set some time aside to indulge in this exploration, and then bring your discoveries, insights, and desires to your Couple Time…
-Awareness and consciousness about yourself
-Awesomeness and uniqueness about yourself
-Aspirations and passions about yourself
In developing ourselves and owning our sparkle, with bring more radiance to our relationship…
Be curious, be playful, be vulnerable, be available…
Share yourself more in your interactions and communication, strengthen you bond!
Wishing you much joy, connection and love today and always…
With Much Love & Light!
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and
coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected.