Every man's greatest desire is to be the man that you want in that relationship. And therefore, his most significant insecurity is inadequacy to not measure up to the man you want in that relationship. And there are things that you can say that can lift him, that can help him feel like he's the man that you want. And there are things that you can say that can tear him down and draw out his inadequacies. Now, we know that you don't have control over how someone else feels.
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We can't control that. But what we say can influence someone's life. You can say things that uplift; you can say things that tear down. Knowing the phrases that uplift your man and knowing the terms that might draw out his insecurities is highly valuable when creating more profound connections. So today, we're going to explore five phrases that trigger a man's insecurities.
Now, let's dive into these phrases that trigger a man's insecurities. As we dive into these phrases, it's essential to know, and I want to give a disclaimer, this is not about indulging men; this is not about playing
to their insecurities or trying not to draw this out. No, this is about understanding that specific phrases feel better than other words, just based on how we're wired up.
Phrase number one is, My guy friend is the best. Now, men do not want to hear how awesome other men are in your life. If you want to share, share with your girlfriends, share with your mom, share with other people. And if you have to tell them about it, talk about what they did or said that's awesome rather than how awesome that person is, because whether you're comparing that person to your man or not, your man is certainly comparing himself to the experience that another person is giving you.
Number two is this; I'm going to ask my dad to fix this. Now, you know that men love to be your hero. They love to provide for you, they love to fix things for you, and when you go to another man before asking him to help you, that feels a bit like a betrayal of trust. When my wife and I were engaged, she had a flat tire. Now, she knows I am not the handyman. I do not fix things around the house very quickly. I'm not trained in that. I'm happy to pay someone else. And so she gets a flat tire one day, she doesn't even call me, she calls her dad to come to help her out. When she gets home, she's like, Yeah, I got a flat tire today.
Number three is you threaten to break up when you're arguing. Certain people have a style when they're discussing where they will blow out, and they'll say, I'm out of here, or, I'm leaving, or, You know what? Maybe this just isn't going to work between the two of us. That argument style is toxic. When you threaten the relationship, it puts the connection on the unsteady ground when you threaten to break up.
If you want to break up, then that's the moment to bring it up and tell the person. Otherwise, it's a toxic communication style. So if you're using, I want to break up, or, This isn't going to work out, as an argument style or your partner is, make a commitment that both of you refrain from doing that moving forward and you're going to be a whole lot better off.
Number four is, You're not doing it right in bed. Being good in bed is a huge source of insecurity for men. Most men have not taken a sex class that teaches them how to be helpful in bed. Most men have not taken a female anatomy class. If they're right in bed at all, it's because of trial and a whole lot of errors. So instead of telling him what he's doing wrong in bed, ask him what you want him to do right. Tell him that you find it sexy when he does this or that it feels perfect when he touches you there. Believe me, when you tell him what you want him to do, he's going to be more than happy to do that for you.
And number five is the granddaddy of all insecure statements, and it's this, Be a man. When you say, Be a man, to a man, it's like an arrow strikes right to the heart of his manhood. Be a man insinuates that you And often women will say this when he isn't meeting some expectations. So way better than saying, Be a man, because often men don't even know what that means.
What do you mean, be a man? What am I not doing that you want me to be doing it? So instead of saying, Be a man, tell him exactly what you want him to do. You're going to have a way better outcome, a way better chance of him living up to the expectation you have if you ask him to provide that for you directly. The opposite of, Is a man is You're the man. You want to give your man a great compliment, and you want to help him feel good? Tell him that. Say, You're the man.
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