Dear Dr. Romance: My girlfriend doesn't think she can handle this relationship.

Dear Dr. Romance:

I am (or was, perhaps) in a fairly strong relationship for a few months now. Recently though, as the upcoming fall quarter approaches, my girlfriend doesn’t think she can handle a relationship. Between stress from school (she really wants her 4.0 this year), over-bearing parents, and the recent death of her dog, she has a lot going on. She has told me that she doesn’t think a relationship can work for her, with all the other things on her plate…

I’m wondering if there’s maybe some way to take a break, or pause things, something of that sort. I really care about her, and she seems to share the feelings. She did say that if she wanted to be dating anyone right now, it would be me.

I know that once things calm down again, we could pick up where we left off, and have a great relationship once more. What do you think about the situation? Should we try and maintain a relationship, but keep it very low-key? Take a break, with the understanding that we’ll try again in the near future? Or just go the "let’s just be friends" route.

Thanks for any input you have.

Dear Reader:

Women rarely say things straight out, as men do. Instead, they take the polite, circuitous route and hint about what's bothering them. However nice you are, your girlfriend appears to feel that you're adding to her burdens rather than helping her with them. She doesn't need a boyfriend right now, she needs your help. Stop worrying about what's in it for you, and see if you can find ways to help that make her life easier. Make it easy for her to study, run interference for her with her parents, and make absolutely no requests, suggestions or demands, especially not for sex.  "Keys to Happy Relationships"; "Kindness and Happiness" and "Attitude Adjustment" will help you know what to do, and what not to do. When she can cope again, she'll resume being your girlfriend, and you'll have learned an important skill.

How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free will occupy you while your girlfriend is overloaded, and teach you excellent relationship and communication skills.

For low-cost phone counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com