Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your Dr. Romance Blog. I'm trying to find out why I can't find a woman, or better put: why I cant I spark the interest of a woman? I'm 40 years old I was never married nor do I have kids. Its pretty dam aggravating. I haven't even had date since I was 16, and she was cross eyed and chewed tobacco and was on some kind of antidepressant. What's worst I seem to attract those types of woman, or some woman that's twice my age which I had that happened to me several times. I know you said to be positive, but why am I having such terrible luck? When I read articles about why women should dump men, it seems to me that they're telling female readers that (Mr. Perfect from God) exists and that just not true. I'm a fat guy too, but sense this problem of mine existed before I ever got fat. How I look can't be the only reason. Tell me what you think please.
Dear Reader:
I can't judge your appearance, but one of the problems of online sites is that they rely heavily on photos. If you're putting up a photo, is it a good one? I'm sure you can figure out how to get a woman interested in you. "The Fine Art of "Squirrel Hunting" and "Where is Love?" will give you some clues about what works. "10 Reasons for Not Falling in Love" will help you explore reasons you may be sabotaging yourself. It's important to get to know some women --- they're not going to flock to you just because you're there -- you need to learn to converse with them. You're attracting some women -- so something is working, you just don't seem to like the types you're attracting. Are there women you know that you could have a frank conversation with? If so, ask them to give you their honest feedback, and don't get mad, but think about what they're telling you. It could be a grooming issue, or lack of ability to carry on a conversation, or coming on too strong, or being too shy. It's not usually weight -- there are plenty of nice women who could deal with heaviness. From your letter, I'm guessing you might sound angry to women you meet, which is a turnoff.
Dr. Romance's Guide to Finding Love Today will teach you how to meet women in many different situations and develop connections.
For low-cost phone counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.