Premature ejaculation, or ejaculating before you or your partner wanted you to, is a common problem that strikes most men at some point in their lives. Several factors can influence when ejaculation occurs, but it can be controlled with some forethought or, in extreme cases, medical intervention. Here are some strategies to help you get over premature ejaculation and improve your sexual stamina.
Changes in the Bedroom
1. Reduce anxiety. For many men anxiety and pressure to perform is a major contributor to premature ejaculation. Relax and remember that your partner probably cares about more than the timing of your orgasms, and that premature ejaculation doesn't mean you can't still be good in bed.
2. Take climaxing out of your expectations. Instead of viewing intercourse only as a means of achieving orgasm, reframe it as relaxing, pleasurable time with your partner that you'll enjoy regardless of ejaculation. Discuss this new mindset with your partner, so that he or she can stop pressuring you, intentionally or not.
3. Think nonsexual thoughts. If you notice yourself getting too excited, turn your thoughts to something distant, abstract and unsexy, such as math, rush hour traffic or baseball. Only dwell on it long enough to give yourself a short break from arousal, maybe 5 to 10 seconds, then refocus your attention on your partner. Avoid thinking of a topic that is going to make you stressed or cause you to lose your arousal entirely.
4. Try edging. Edging, or orgasm control, is the practice of maintaining a high level of sexual arousal while delaying ejaculation. It takes practice, but it gets easier over time. Here are two methods recommended by the National Institutes of Health to stop premature ejaculation:
5. Stop-and-start method: Have intercourse as usual until you feel yourself coming uncomfortably close to orgasm. Immediately and abruptly cease all stimulation for 30 seconds, then start again. Repeat this pattern until you're ready to ejaculate.
6. Squeeze method: Have intercourse as usual until you feel like orgasm is seconds away. Abruptly stop other stimulation and gently squeeze your thumb and forefinger around the part of the penis where the glans meets the shaft (or your partner could do this). After squeezing for a few seconds, pause all stimulation for another 30 seconds before resuming intercourse. Repeat this pattern until you're ready to ejaculate.
7. Change positions. Some intercourse positions put less pressure on the glans (or the most sensitive part of the penis). Here's what to do: Try "passive" positions. Lie beneath your female partner, or try a side-by-side (or spooning) position. Avoid "active" positions. Missionary and rear-entry positions place the most stimulation and friction on the glans, so consider taking them off the menu for now.
8. Take it slow. Depending on your personal sensitivity, slowing your movements and opting for gentler, more teasing intercourse can help you hold off orgasm longer. If you find yourself getting too close to orgasm, slow down for a bit, change to a new position, or take a break to stimulate your partner in other ways.
9. Focus on foreplay. Sometimes "premature" is a frame of mind. Even if your ejaculation comes quickly during intercourse, you can still give your partner a great sexual experience through more extended, intimate, attentive and generous foreplay. Stimulate your partner enough manually, orally or with toys, and they may not need or want a long bout of intercourse to finish happy.
10. Do PC muscle exercises. Flexing and strengthening your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle can help you exert more control over ejaculation. (Note that these are also called Kegel exercises, which you might have heard about women doing. The muscle is the same in both sexes
11. Locate your PC muscle. Put one or two fingers right behind your testicles. Pretend that you are urinating, then try to stop the flow with a quick muscle contraction. That muscle you just used to stop the flow from the bladder is your PC muscle.
12. Flex the muscle regularly. Try to do 10 to 20 squeezes in a set, 2 or 3 times a day. Do a set whenever you're bored or stationary like when you're sitting at your desk or in traffic. No one will be able to see that you're doing them.
13. Squeeze your PC muscle when you feel ejaculation coming on. Once the muscle is strong enough, you should be able to hold it off just like stopping flow when urinating.
14. Practice controlling your orgasm. When masturbating or with a patient partner, focus on improving your control over your climax. Stimulate yourself to the edge of climax and then stop. Do this several times before finishing.
As you practice, learn to recognize the feeling of getting close to orgasm, and take note of how close you can get and still effectively stop, and when you've reached a "point of no return." During intercourse, use that knowledge to slow down or adjust your movements if you get too close too early.
Every human being is the author of his own health or disease..-Buddha
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