Being a parent is one of the most stressful and often one of the most thankless jobs out there. Whether you’re a working parent, juggling with both a stressful job and caring for the kids, or if you’re a stay-at-home (full time) parent, you’re probably ready to snap about 90% of the time.
Hey, we hear you. And while we understand where you’re coming from, we’re here to tell you it’s not healthy to live in constant stress. And also to offer you some tried-and-tested effective tips on how to cut down on parenting stress.
We often have a hard time saying ‘no’ to our kids. No one wants to be seen as mean by their children, so in an attempt to prevent that, we lean in the other direction. But that, too, has its’ perils.
By never saying ‘no’ to our children, we are giving them impossibly high expectations, because, in life, they’re bound to hear ‘no’ at some point and need to know how to handle the situation well. If they haven’t had any practice at home, it’s going to be that much harder for them to build healthy relationships as adults.
Saying ‘yes’ all the time is bad for your health, too, because it’s constantly putting you under pressure. If the child is used to you agreeing all the time, you will feel pressured to keep doing that, even in situations when it might be healthier for you to say ‘no’ and take some time for yourself.
So difficult though it may be, learn to say ‘no’ to your child.
Again, this is something many parents don’t do because it sounds selfish, but it’s not. You need to take care of yourself so that you’re able to take care of others. So find twenty minutes or an hour each day where you focus on you. Whether it’s coloring (though you may be sick of that by now!), or doing yoga or giving yourself a pedicure or even watching the latest episode of your favorite TV show.
Doing something for yourself can boost your mood tenfold and can alleviate stress. After this time for yourself, you will come back to your parenting duties more energetic and less stressed about doing them.
This can be your best friend, your spouse, or your parents. It can even be a professional if you feel you need this, but as a parent, you must have contact with grown-ups (this is especially true when caring for a baby or toddler). So regardless of who it is, you need to have someone in your life you can tell your problems to, share frustrations with, and have a laugh at things. It’s often best to pick someone who is in a similar situation, as a parent, because it gives you the feeling you’re not alone.
It’s well-known that physical exercise acts as a mood-booster. As you sweat, your body releases endorphins, which make you happy or more relaxed. If you can, hit the gym once or twice a week, do yoga, go for a run.
This is a doubly good idea because it makes you happy and helps tone your body. Often, as parents, we don’t have the time or patience to focus on a healthy diet and so many of us harbor some kind of resentment towards our physical appearance.
By getting in shape, we give ourselves another reason to be happy.
As a parent, it’s easy to think you need to do it all by yourself, but you don’t. Don’t be afraid to ask friends or family for help, whether it’s watching the kids for a couple of hours or picking them up from school.
Hey, if it’s available, you might even consider hiring someone to help you with the cleaning of the house. You’re not in this alone.
Dealing with parenting stress is hard, but at the end of the day, it’s all worth it, when you look into your child’s eyes.
Joanna Choi is a blogger and the owner of Joaful.com