It is always wonderful when a story begins with a great deal of warmth, romance,excitement, and passion.Interestingly, everybody in the world is looking for validation, and one of the greatest feelings is to feel loved by those you consider important. They may include but not limited to family members, relatives as well as friends. In other words, there is always that need of the human condition to look for recognition.
When your husband cares about you, he will always strive to ensure that you are happy. You become his priority, and he continuously checks in with you during most parts of the day. He knows that you probably hate doing the dishes, and he always chooses to do them for you. Planning dates, displaying little signs of affection, and trying to spice up things in bed is never an issue. Some of these things happen to every marriage in its initial stages, and that is very okay.
He Stops loving You
By and by, things start to change in your marriage, and your husband starts to show no affection.It can be quite disturbing when you realize that your husband doesn't love you anymore. Primarily, the loss of attachment does not happen overnight, but it happens slowly over time.
Your husband may be fed up and disgruntled with marriage life, and most likely, he will show a lack of engaging in sex, kissing,cuddling, and worst still, he may become violent.
It is at this point that most women reach their breaking point. But there are numerous reasons why women remain stuck in destructive relationships.
1. Fear Among Women
The first and most common reason is fear. The intimidation of emotional and bodily harm is potent, and abusive husbands know that women are emotionally weak, and they practice this to switch and retain their wives confined. Most women
feel stuck because of their spouse’s terrorizations of stalking them down and even killing them.
2. The Children’s Future
Females also put their offspring first by forfeiting their safety, Most women admit that they were afraid that their children would be used as a scapegoat if they decided to leave. Others stay in abusive marriages to ensure that their children got an education and a father figure. A significant number of women depend on their husbands for virtually everything, and so it becomes challenging to leave their
children without a solid foundation at their homes.
3. Hope for Change
Likewise, some women express a yearning to help and love their husbands with the belief that change comes to those who wait- they live with the hope that their spouses will change one day or that they will maintain their husbands change. For instance, if the husband is suffering addiction, most women believe that they could love that abuse out of him.
4.Values and Commitments
Intrinsic values and commitments to marriage is also another reason why a majority of women become loyal. They show a lot of pity for their husbands and hence put their husband’s needs above theirs. “He became an alcoholic because his
father died. God wouldn’t want me to leave him because; it’s my duty to make my husband better.”
So how do you deal with a husband who has toxic characters?
Stop Expecting Your Husband To Change
“Why did you get married to him in the first place?” you wonder. By all means, it is extremely difficult to change an adult if they are not willing to apply the changes in the first place. The bad news is that toxic men hardly change. In this principle,life is too short to waste it being unhappy because of an individual who doesn’t care about your feelings.
Therefore, it will only make sense to let go of the things that you cannot change.
Enliven yourself by reciting the serenity prayer Alternatively, if you don’t wish to separate from your spouse, you must practice the art of accepting and minimizing expectations.
“Don’t try to change them. This is the person you chose. They were good enough to marry so don’t expect them to change now.” So goes the adage.
Have Some Savings Account
Chances are high that you do not have some income to sustain you and your children. And if that is the case, it will only be logical to look for a new job. You need to be self reliant because the future with your husband is uncertain.
He might as well continue to take care of the children but it is also time to stop setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. This is surely not the best time to
have more children.Instead, use your time to make more money. It is one of the surest ways to freedom.
Minimize Communication
Refrain from speaking about your intentions and your achievements with your husband. Toxic people have a tendency of luring you back in their dysfunctional cycle. You are bound to fail each time you share your goals and ambitions. When a toxic person is no longer able to control you, they will find means of trying to control how others see you. For this reason, If you must communicate, let the conversation revolve around the welfare of the children.
Raise Your Standards
You cannot force someone to like you because that is their
prerogative. But you can decide to add value to yourself and confess what you want to possess. Rise above low talks of "all men are the same" as life does not give you what you want, but what you expect. Rather, strive to raise your personal standards and self-esteem to attract the right people. You will always attract your kind and people will always treat you according to your class.
Have An Exit Plan
Enough is enough. If things continue transitioning from bad to worse, it is time to call it quits. This should be the last resort after trying out everything else. If you
have a job and a stable income , then you are good to go.
No one is comfortable with endings , but sometimes you have to put things that were once good after they turn toxic to your well-being.
"Not every beginning is meant to last forever and not every person who walks in your life is meant to
stay."-Najwa Zebian
For all the relationship advice you will ever need, visit markmanson.net
David is an expert self-improvement freelance writer offering more than 5 years of experience crafting engaging content with focus on quality. He strives to help people become the best version of themselves. He is the founder of whoopingskills.com and previously worked on upwork.com