Dear Dr. Romance:
I've just gotten my girlfriend pregnant and still have doubts about my sexuality, whether I'm gay or bisexual. She wants me to get some clarity before she decides to keep the baby or not. Can you help?
Dear Reader:
Your girlfriend is right to want you to know what you want before she marries you. You may be gay or bisexual, but now is the time to figure out what you want. If you can let go of same-sex dreams, and make a serious commitment to her, then it could be the right thing to do. But, making the commitment when you don't mean it will only be hurtful to everyone concerned. Of course, if she keeps the baby, you have a responsibility to care for your child, emotionally and financially, no matter what you decide about your sexuality. "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will help you find a good therapist, which is a very good idea for you as an individual and for both of you as a couple. You also need to start taking responsibility for having protected sex, so you don't continue to make such big mistakes.
Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences is full of exercises which will help you and your girlfriend talk honestly about what each of you wants and whether a relationship is possible.
For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.