Do you have what it takes to live your best life? As I embrace this concept more and more, for myself and to bring to you of course, I’m just in awe at the gorgeousness life has to offer if we actually tune ourselves to it and allow it…
Things started turning around for me a while back when I learned to Let Go… Now, if you know me, you know I’m in no way a slacker, passive, or easy going… LOL I still love to lead, take charge, plan and orchestrate, make things happen, work hard, deconstruct obstacles, etc…
So, what do I mean by Let Go? I mean Trusting that all is working out as it’s supposed to… That things are happening For me and not To me… That we don’t have to white-knuckle life to make it what we want… That life is a great old game we have to learn to play right, by our own rules… When we get this and don’t give our power away to our life circumstances, including our Partner!, it’s when the magic starts to happen…
For you see, our approach is usually to do life by focusing on what others are or are not doing, specially our Partner… By how we can get them to do stuff. By how we want them to be. By how we want them to treat us. By what we can get from them. Or such. And, by Golly this is the completely opposite approach to create our most wonderful life…
You might be thinking, Yeah, that’s right. I want to be treated right, I want respect, I want support, I want my partner to cherish me, and so on… But, I’ll let you in on a little secret: You can’t ask for these things and get them… This is not how this works. Life is not about getting from others, demanding form others, imposing on others.
You might be thinking, How is that possibly an imposition? Respect, support, care and the rest of it is part of being in a relationship. It’s a given and should be done automatically. That’s what marriage is all about. I have news for you, that’s not True. It might seem that way, but that’s because that’s the social script we live by…
I know this is a controversial position – just bear with me for a moment. If it was so automatic, and such a given, and such a part of how things should be, then why do so many marriages fail? I’ll tell you why, because people focus on the wrong things. They stick unwaveringly to the script, they don’t question its validity and how it applies to them. They continue to focus outside of themselves, where they have no power!
Believe me, I get it. We all want those things, and they all are part of the definition of marriage… The point is that we can’t create an amazing relationship by expecting our partner to do right by us, by complaining about it when they don’t, and waiting for them to do it right. Man, this is a divorce waiting to happen. I’ve seen it happen unfortunately when people just refuse to Let Go of this script…
Nothing is a given, we have to Cocreate it… We have to choose to stop following the herd and living a mediocre life, having a tolerable relationship and accepting its demise when it’s not working… We have to choose to stop being part of the 95% who just live life blindly and by default. We have to choose to have our full Human Experience, and full on Play the Game of Life…
What does this mean? This means we fully Own ourselves, we focus on what we are doing, how we are doing it, how we show up, what we tolerate, and such. And, we do this by us Being, Becoming, our best version of ourselves… Again, not by telling our partner what they should do for us, or how to be for us… When we refocus like this, it’s incredible what starts to happen. All the things we wanted, demanded, and complained about are resolved. We actually get what we want!
I know it’s almost impossible to believe, but it’s True. The reason this works is because when we show up differently, we invite something different… This is Cocreation at its best. We have no control over what our partner does, but we have control over what we do (we have the choice to even address our subconscious driving our stuff – we have ALL the control).
When we approach our life this way marvelous things start to happen… You even cocreate things that you might have never voiced… It’s a truly amazing experience… But don’t just take my word for it, please have a little faith and try out for yourself…
I promise that when you refocus this way you CAN create the relationship, and life, you were beating your head against the wall to have before. Now, it actually does happen easily… Just give it a try… Try keeping the focus only on what you are doing, on Being who you want to be, and on continuing Becoming your best self. The rest just comes!
Stop victimizing yourself. Take charge and do You well! I know you can do it!
Assignment: Stop the looping around in your head playing around with your logic, convincing yourself that your position is right, and making your partner wrong. This is not the way out, nor the solution to your current unhappiness… Try to suspend logic, your protective Ego, and instead get in touch with your heart, your gut, your Core, Inner Authentic, Higher Self… This part of you can Transcend the micro infractions your partner might inflict on you through their imperfection… This part of you is Magnificent. When you show up with this part, you become irresistible and your partner wants to do nothing but please you… And, they do it just like you like it, and it’s effortless… (Also, you’ll be able to not get triggered or bothered when they are a little off because their offness is actually so irrelevant in the whole scheme of things…). Make an appointment with yourself to get in touch with your Self… Honor it. Embrace it. Enjoy it!
I believe you have what it takes you create your best life. You just have to want it, and make a decision to go for it…
Complete the Assignment, and share your takeaway, insights, and results with a note in the Comments box at the end! I’d love to hear how you are using this content.
Happy Owning!
P.S. We are here for you!
If you need more support to creating your successful and meaningful life, we are here to help. I’d be honored to speak with you about how we can help you. Schedule a Get Acquainted Call to connect, and discuss how we can help you and how to get started. Look forward to Connecting with you!
P.S.S. Share Your Thoughts & Successes in the comment box at the end!
Take a moment now to share below any thoughts, comments, take away, tips, and successes! PLEASE post a comment now – we grow in community! Thanks for connecting with the MetroRelationship™ Family!
Copyright (c) 2019 Emma K. Viglucci. All rights reserved.
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected.