Do you remember when one of the big office supply stores developed the big red "Easy” button as a reminder to "keep things easy at work"? Years ago, one of my fellow staff members at The Ford Institute started bringing a big red "Easy" button to all of the in-person workshops and trainings we did. He would keep it out at the staff table at the back of the workshop room. It was actually a perfect reminder for all of us that an invitation for transformation exists in every moment and it can happen in an instant if we choose to open up and receive the invitation. Unfortunately, most people don't recognize the miracles that are always dancing right in front of them as well as their innate power and ability to shift what they are experiencing in each and every moment.
On a daily basis, I watch and hear stories about what I categorize as "people who are committed to struggle." Wherever they go and whatever they do, drama seems to follow them, upset happens, disappointment permeates every experience, and “little things” seem to always get blown out of proportion. Whether they realize it or not, they are on some level always looking for what is wrong and, as a result, they find it! Since they are committed to clinging to a past that has betrayed them, being the victim, and telling themselves stories that end "unhappily ever after," they miss the magic of the moment or anything good that might be coming their way or even standing right in front of them
But just like one glance at the big red "Easy" button can be the catalyst for transformation, we all have the choice to shift from struggle to ease in any situation. In order to do so, first you must be painfully honest with yourself about what's going on. If you are experiencing struggle and drama in more than one area of your life, in several situations, or with multiple people, then you have to be willing to recognize that you are the common denominator in the creation of this chaos. No matter what you might be saying you want - such as peace and quiet - there is something happening inside of you that is creating the friction, fighting, and fatigue.
Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world.
If you are experiencing unrest in our outer world, then you must look within. You must take 100% responsibility for the reality you are experiencing. Take time to look at:
• Is there some belief you have or maybe adopted from your parents that "life is hard" or "life is about surviving and not thriving?"
• Is there some action, reaction, or pattern of behavior that you keep repeating that keeps you stuck in a cesspool of turbulence, disappointment, or discontent?
Or maybe the conflicts that you are experiencing in your outer world come from the conflict within yourself.
• Do you constantly have a demeaning dialogue running inside your head?
• Are you berating yourself for not being good enough, smart enough, or charismatic enough?
It's time to declare "Enough is enough!"
As the saying goes, "Struggle is optional!" If you want to switch from struggle to ease, the choice is yours. Now is the time to bust free from the past, to give up your righteous beliefs about how unfair or hard life is, to bring awareness to the voice of condemnation inside your head, and to call a truce to the internal war inside of you. When you start feeling ease within yourself, it will be reflected in your outer world.
Transformational Action Steps
1. Allow yourself to see how you are addicted to struggle or identify an area or situation in your life where you have created struggle.
2. Honestly evaluate the behaviors, actions, and patterns that you engage in that lead to struggle, the beliefs you have around struggle vs. ease, and the turbulent internal dialogue inside yourself that is being reflected in your outer world.
3. Allow yourself to identify what you could do to shift these behaviors, beliefs, and thoughts to promote more ease in your life. Take some of those actions and notice what changes.
4. Set a strong intention to create more ease in your life and create a structure that will support you in manifesting your intention.
Kelley Kosow is the author of The Integrity Advantage, a motivational speaker, and the Chief Executive Officer of the highly acclaimed Ford Institute. She continues the legacy of the New York Times bestselling author and thought leader, the late Debbie Ford, and leads the development and teachings of The Ford Institute’s transformational programs to thousands of people across the globe. Known as a “kick-ass coach” to high-level executives, change makers, and celebrities committed to personal transformation, Kelley blends her quick wit, laser sharp insight, and relentless compassion to help people upgrade their lives on a cellular level. Throughout her impressive career as a successful lawyer turned personal growth super star, she has been featured in Oprah Magazine as someone who could “Dream it, Do it,” as well as In Style, People, Working Mother, Latina, NY Times, Conde Nast Traveler, and LA Times. Kelley has also appeared on “The Balancing Act” and Better.tv. Connect with Kelley at http://www.kelleykosow.com or @KelleyKosow on all social media platforms.