Belonging: Do Some Peoples Childhoods Set Them Up To Believe That They Don’t Belong?

It has been said that when someone feels as though they belong to something else, it will have a positive effect on their mental, emotional and physical health. When it comes to what they belong to, this could involve being part of a family, a group of friends or to a religious group.

This undoubtedly comes down to the fact that one is in interdependent human being. Due to this, they are not supposed to operate as though they are their own island.

Positive Feedback

When one is part of a family or has a group of friends, for instance, spending time with these people is going to provide them with positive reinforcement. Also, they won’t be on this planet all by themselves, they will be part of something greater,

But even if these people don’t always give them positive feedback, simply being around them will benefit them. And if they are going through a challenging time, the support around them will make it easier for them to handle what they are going through.

Other Options

Furthermore, one could join a group or an organisation to build more bridges to others, thereby increasing their sense of belonging. This is something that could take place by volunteering.

Investing their time in a cause that is bigger than themselves will further enhance their wellbeing. Another benefit of this is that the more things they are a part of, the easier it will be for them to handle a setback.

Resilience

Being part of different things will give them strength, strength that will allow them to perform at their best. And if one that thing that they are part of falls away, there will be plenty of others things left to nourish them.

So should they get ill or feel down, having people around them is going to make it easier for them to get back on their feet. There will be people there to support them and just knowing that these people are there can have a big impact.

The Norm

One may find that they have experienced life in this way for as long as they can remember; meaning that they might not know what it is like to experience life differently. It could be said that this will be a good thing as experiencing life differently is not going to be very pleasant.

Unfortunately, there are plenty of people in their world who don’t have this sense of belonging. For someone like this, the world can be a very lonely place and they can wonder if they deserve to be here.

Isolated

There is the chance that they don’t have a family and they might not have a group of friends, either. One is then going to be an interdependent human being, but it will be as though they are their own island.

Then again, it might not this black and white as they may have a family and there could be people in their life. Either way, they won’t feel as though they are part of anything else or that anyone else wants them around.

Alone

Through feeling this way, there is going to be no reason for them to reach out to others and to try to change their life. Perhaps there has been moment in their life when other people made it clear that they were not welcome.

The support that they miss out on, through not feeling as though they belong or part of anything greater than themselves, can have make it hard for them to feel good about themselves and for their mental and emotional health to suffer. For example, after they experience a setback, it could take a lot longer for them to get back up.

A Deeper Look

One may even believe that they are not like other people, even though they are a human being. Not attaching to others is going to cause them to suffer, yet it can be seen as the only option that they have.

What this may illustrate is that one believes that there is something inherently wrong with them, which is why they are basically an outsider. This is why they can’t extend themselves to others and be part of anything else.

What’s going on?

Now, it can seem as though one is this way because of what has occurred throughout their adult life, but it could go back even further. There is the chance that one didn’t feel as though they belonged as a child.

Maybe this was a stage of their life when they were neglected or even abused. So instead of being treated in a way that allowed them to realise that they belonged on this planet, they would have been made to feel as though they were not wanted and were nothing more than a burden.

Destructive Programming

How they were treated, along with that they were told would then have formed the view that they have of themselves and the world. The truth is, however, that they do deserve to be here and to belong.

The software that is running within them that is telling them otherwise is most likely what is causing them to re-experience what took place in the past. What is keeping the past alive is likely to be their beliefs and emotional pain and the trauma that they experienced at this stage of their life.

Awareness
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If one can relate to this, and they want to let go of stuff within them that is sabotaging their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.