Find out the things you can say to a woman that will make her swoon!
Are you a little lost when it comes to figuring out just what women want? Confused as to why some women seem to want a good guy, but end up dating “bad boys”?
Learn what women want from you, and how you can use this knowledge to your benefit!
What You May Be Saying Wrong
Women like direct men who clearly demonstrate their interest, while also being gentlemen. This combination of confidence and chivalry is huge for a woman. Instead of approaching a woman by trying to get something from her (like attention, interest, sex, validation or simply a reaction), approach a woman with something to offer.
What should you offer? Well, if you pay enough attention (and this can be done quickly) you might catch on to something she needs help with. For example, opening a door, calling a waiter who keeps ignoring her, or getting the attention of a bartender on a busy, loud night.
Offer to help her if she's struggling, with a "Hey, do you need a hand, or are you good?"
Offering help while giving her permission to decline your offer without judgment is always a great way to start a conversation.
Or, give her a compliment, tell her "I like your style.” Remember, any conversation that demonstrates you’ve taken notice of her, that she is interesting, offering a compliment or helping in some way, will have a woman feeling relaxed and open and interested in knowing more about you.
What Women Want (Less Confusing than it First Appears)
Sometimes women say that they want a good guy, but then end up dating the wrong kind of guy. If you find this frustrating, we're here to help decode this dating phenomenon.
Most women are looking for a guy they can trust, who is secure in himself as a man. Terrible dating advice out there has men trying to fake this confidence by becoming emotionally unavailable and shutting down their feelings. This tactic may land them female attention, but never leads to anything meaningful for both parties.
From a woman’s perspective, men who aren’t sure of themselves can’t be relied upon to make good decisions when under pressure, nor lead when called upon - something every woman wants. A man who is sure of himself makes better decisions and demonstrates greater leadership capability. A woman is always asking herself where being with a man will lead her, and her potential future family.
Before you feel this is unfair, remember that for eons women have needed safety to ensure childrearing success, and they have needed to look to men for that. That impulse hasn’t left, even though we’ve thankfully made great cultural advancements. How do you demonstrate this? Check in with the first tip I gave you above. A confident, strong gentleman has value to offer a woman, demonstrates confidence in approaching her with that value, and clarity in his good intentions towards her.
The most attractive male stereotype to most women is a man of noble character. The classic 'knight in shining armor' has its roots in this. Most heterosexual women want a male partner that is supportive, and carries a strong moral compass, without compromising the things that make him masculine.
The archetype often confused with this idealized man is the 'bad boy', a guy who comes off as a confident, trusted decision maker, but only because he isn’t invested in being approved of. He’s lost his sense of himself and his clear grounding. Women may confuse his not caring about her approval, for self-confidence. She can mistakenly believe this is a guy who seems a little rough around the edges but has a heart of gold.
Women want the heart of gold in a man, but also want his masculine edge, and the ability to trust in a man’s ability to lead his own life. For many men, the ideal woman often has a similar balance of 'good' and 'bad' qualities. Most men desire a woman who is beautiful and carries a high sexual value but is extremely faithful and rejects the many suitors that her beauty attracts.
Often, the randomized rewards associated with dating a 'bad boy' can have the same effect as playing a slot machine. This concept is known as the "reward schedule". This sequence of mixed messages can create chaos in interpersonal relationships, as the female partner manages to justify bad behavior by remembering grand displays or gestures made in the past. That’s just how much masculine chivalry means to a woman. Don’t worry, and don’t blame women, step into chivalrous confidence and women will gravitate to you like bees to honey.
What to Say & How to Say It
The most important thing to bear in mind when talking to a woman is that she is a person. Like men, she too is capable of saying the right thing at the wrong time, or the wrong thing altogether. If you approach a woman with the same level of respect that you have for your male friends and co-workers, you'll have a better shot at getting close to her. For a long time, men have received bad advice when it comes to women - and vice versa.
Women, for instance, were encouraged to play hard to get and belie their own desires in an effort to remain desirable. Men, on the other hand, have heard advice like "Treat her with respect, that's someone's daughter". Women want to hear words that tell them that you value them not for what you are out to get, but for who they are. While men and women will never be the same, one of the central tenants of love and positive relationships, whether long-term or just for a weekend, is respect.
Women don't want to hear things that make it sound like you think you're getting them in bed before knowing their last name. When a fan asked Hugh Hefner, "Hey Hef, how do you get so many women?" one of the most prolific playboys of the modern age answered simply, "I have a lot of girlfriends because a little respect will take you a long way."
Don't say I love you, if you don't mean it. Don't lead a booty call on if you know she has feelings for you. Just speak truth, with respect. That alone is what women want the most and will deeply admire in you.
What Do You Want?
Determining and communicating your own wants and needs and showing respect toward your female companion are the first steps toward a happier sex life, a better knowledge of what women want, and a healthier relationship.
For more information on topics like this, be sure to visit Giordana's website. They’re here to help you get the most out of life. After all, one day we'll all be old, make sure you make some memories to smile about.
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