My Husband Is Talking To Another Woman On Facebook: Husband Messaging Another Woman
My husband is having an emotional affair is not something any wife wants to be thinking or saying. There are not many women I have met who will admit that they believe their husband, when he explains that it's just an emotional affair. It's amazing what husbands expect their wives to believe. If you find yourself struggling to keep your husband's heart, please don't give up. I know you're wondering if your husband is lying about the emotional affair, what else he might be hiding from you.
The short answer is you don't know and I'm sure it's draining you mentally, physically and emotionally. What I find most challenging to spouses being cheated on is the unknown. There are many more questions than answers often times when infidelity is involved.
I don't want to state the obvious but I'm sure you know that every relationship is different and has its own set of challenges. Recovering from an affair, emotional or physical is unique. However, there are some common steps that most couples take in trying to recover from an affair.
Please keep reading to get some additional insight into how your situation might turn out. What I have written below are possibilities not realities. By that I mean that I cannot predict how your marital relationship will turn out. No one can tell you for sure. However, I believe with all of my heart and soul that you have a say so on how things will turn out. I know from personal experience that recovering from infidelity is possible. Please be encouraged and believe with me.
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Dealing With Your Husbands Emotional Affair - What's Next?
There is a theory (folk) not scientifically proven that it takes 21 days to break a bad habit. I'm not a scientist or a brain Doctor but I can say with certainty that a bad habit will stick around if something doesn't change.
Your husband has the power to break his bad habit and set your marriage back on the right course. You also have a decision to make with regard to moving forward with him, when he ends his emotional affair.
So, obviously your husband could refuse to end his emotional affair immediately and run the risk of committing adultery and further crushing your heart and marriage. If he doesn't see the pain he is causing you and understand, that what he is justifying as an innocent friendship is a stepping stone to infidelity and probably separation or divorce, then it will be difficult for him to change his ways. There will need to be a jolt to his consciousness to get him to see that his emotional affair is wrong.
What my hope and prayer is for you is that your husband wakes up today and realizes the dangerous road he is embarking on. If your husband treats his emotional bonding or friendship as "An Affair" he will have a better chance of understanding the need to end it. He has to realize that he doesn't have the power or strength to change the relationship with his new soul mate to the way it was before it became emotional. He has to end the relationship now!
For Healing Of Your Marriage To Become A Reality - What's Next?
In my humble opinion, your husband needs to do everything in his power to end the affair immediately. This means ending any and all contact with the person he is emotionally attached to on a personal level. That means no phone calls, emails, text messages, social media contact etc. He may be in a situation where contact in a professional setting is required and that's OK. What's not OK is stringing the emotional affair along under the guise of "letting her down easy" or "trying to be kind and gentle with her".
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While I commend cheaters who want to be nice to their cheating partner, there is no way to slowly end an affair. Its end it immediately or it will linger on until the lust affair runs out of steam. What I have found is that the longer an affair continues after it's no longer a secret, the higher the likelihood that the marriage will come to an end.
It's hard to be the victim of an affair, and wait patiently for a cheating husband to get his affairs in order. It's too taxing physically, mentally and emotionally to sit idle while your husband treats another woman better than he is treating his wife.
Be Careful About This
Don't let your husband tell you that you are jealous or immature or emotionally unstable. In other words, don't let him make you feel as though there is something wrong with you. There may be some things you can improve on, as can all of us. However, any shortcomings that you have are no excuse for him to betray your trusts. If your husband is having an emotional affair, he needs to accept responsibility for it.
I recommend that you do look inside yourself and see how or if you should do things differently moving forward. Again, we can all benefit from trying to improve ourselves. Your husband must do the same, starting with ending his emotional affair.
Pay Close Attention Here-
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There are many different kinds of love. The love of a mother for her baby, the love of a friend, the love of family, the love of a pet, the love of nature, but the most unique of all relates to love and marriage. Work on love to revitalise your marriage.
Love in marriage is the ultimate emotional union between two human beings. There are different levels of emotional union and all are important, but marriage is special because it is where two people share everything, physically, emotionally and spiritually. In marriage a couple bond together as one. They are soul mates. A soul mates mate is a person with whom you have a feeling of deep or natural affinity, similarity, love, sex, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality, and compatibility. The strongest romantic bond that you can achieve with another person is to become soul mates. A soul mate is a romantic partner, with the implication of an exclusive lifelong bond.
Marriage is the highest form of love where two soul mates fuse together to become one and return to the ultimate being. Both partners in a marriage bring different things to the relationship. They may have similar or complementary outlooks on life. Two different people bringing different things to the marriage is what makes the relationship exciting and dynamic. Marriage is a didactic relationship where two people in love achieve more together than if the two were working independently.
Marriage is the sacred union of mind, body and soul. Nakedness in a marriage is a symbol of that union because there is nothing to hide. This total union of mind, body and soul does not happen overnight. Love and marriage is the key to a happier life. However even if it is love at first sight you need to keep working on the union. Work on love to revitalise your marriage.
What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.
The total union of two souls takes time. Build it up in stages, and enjoy each stage. There will be set backs from time to time but the set backs don't matter - it matters only about how you address those set backs. Have an action plan to work on problems together, but interestingly, problem solving is not the key to a happy, successful marriage. Love is.
Like Adam and Eve, temptation occurs when you think that the grass is greener on the other side of the mountain. But it is not. You may never reach the mountain top again so work on staying at the top rather than sliding haphazardly down the other side. It takes time and effort to get to the top of the mountain so it is advisable to enjoy it once you get there.
Share interests and do exciting things together in the marriage. Occasionally one of you may need to compromise, but the time invested will be well worth it. But also have some time out, some personal space to do your own thing. That way you will not get claustrophobic and will enjoy each other even more.
So why does a marriage fail? Why does that exclusive lifelong bond break? You have been seeking one another throughout the ages. Despite having bonded as soul mates, you are now considering separation. Does karma play a role? Or is the answer simpler than that?
In order for soul mates to find each other there has to be attraction to draw them together. And what sparks attraction for a woman to a man? - Leadership. And what sparks attraction for a man to woman? - Fertility.
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The law of attraction dates back to of Adam and Eve. The evolutionary theory of attraction indicates that the main attraction of a man to a woman is due to fertility and that the main attraction of a woman to a man is due to his qualities to provide and protect. A conjugal/romantic relationship has the main purpose of procreation to continue the human species. These actions are controlled by the subconscious mind because that is how we are biologically programmed.
It goes back to the caveman days and involves the hunter instinct. The hunter approach is very powerful in males when they initially find a new girlfriend. They show off their leadership skills - they ask you out; they pay for the meal; they open the door; they ask you to marry them. And women because of their biological instincts are subconsciously attracted to this behaviour - they fall deeply in love with this potential mate; this provider; this potential father of her children.
It goes without saying therefore, that when a marriage fails that the attraction has died. The bond of attraction which held the union together has failed. The secret to saving a marriage lies in rebuilding that attraction. And how do you do that?
The answer lies in leadership. You need to work on the male leadership skills in order to rekindle the hunter instinct in him so that he becomes that amazing, compelling, dynamic, charismatic leader which first attracted the female soul mate. And let her biology look after of the rest. Your sex drive will be reactivated. You will fall wildly madly in love again. Love and marriage is the key to a happier married life. Work on it together and your marriage will be revitalised.
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You've been married or living common-law for several years and have two children. Many of you probably can't remember the last time you went to a movie together or had a dinner date without children. How do you ever find the time with all the demands of jobs and parenting? You barely have time to keep up with the laundry, never mind going to a movie.
What I've described is a very common scenario among married couples with children. We get caught up in the day to day managing of the household and our work outside the home. For some reason it just doesn't seem as important as everything else. We in fact might even feel guilty if we spend the time and money to go out for dinner. We think of the cost of the babysitter, the dinner, the wine and the parking. We also think of the logistics around making it happen. We'll often say to ourselves that it's just too much trouble.
I've known couples where years can go by with no couple time at all. Each parent might spend time with their own friends but they don't spend time with each other. When we neglect our primary relationship we risk losing it; the same as anything else in life we neglect. The strength and health of the relationship depends on how much time and effort we put into it. It doesn't just happen. To make a relationship strong and healthy, we have to nurture it.
Children need and deserve a loving, safe and peaceful home environment. It's what makes them feel loved and secure. We owe it to them to make it a priority to regularly work on our primary relationship not only for our sake, but for theirs. Yes, it takes time. Yes, it often takes money. Yes, it takes effort. Know, without a shred of doubt, that it's worth it and your children will thank you.
Couples with children too often make the mistake of neglecting their relationship and risking the loss of the relationship, which is never anyone's intention. Commit to setting up a date night at least twice a month. Do something together in the evening you both enjoy, once the kids have gone to bed. Send each other little love notes during the day. All these things work towards a strong union and a more secure foundation for your children.
Don't catch yourself looking back five years after the birth of your first child, not being able to recall the last time you and your partner had a date or just took time out to be together in a meaningful way. It's too easy to let things get off track to the point you're not sure how to get back what you had in the beginning. It doesn't have to be that way.
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