My Husband Is Sending Me Mixed Signals: My Husband Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do About Our Marriage

My Husband Is Sending Me Mixed Signals: My Husband Doesn't Know What He Wants To Do About Our Marriage

There is no denying that one always knows that there is something wrong with the marriage. If you have stayed with someone as close as your husband or wife, the signs and symptoms of a failing marriage is all too apparent, unless you are particularly blind or insensitive to your marriage or towards your spouse. But there is hardly any room to do any guess work when you 'sense' that the environment immediately gets negatively charged every time you are together. You want to be 100% sure.

But how do you know when your marriage is over, for sure? Here are some tell-tale signs, which should be acted upon immediately, if you want to save your marriage:

o The first sign that you hit you on your face is the sharp drop in frequency and amount of communication between the two of you. How do you know when your marriage is over? When you find that both of you do not talk anything meaningful anymore. The way to come out of it is to take the initiative to start a dialogue with your spouse once again. There is nothing as valuable and helpful as communication in conflict management when you are thinking of bridging any gap, rebuilding trust or clear misunderstandings. Take your spouse into confidence without shouting, blaming or accusing your partner in any way.

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o How do you know when your marriage is over? When you no longer support each other. In short, you have stopped being friends - you are living as competitors in stead.

o How do you know when your marriage is over? When the meaning of the word 'compromise' is long-forgotten; when your own ego is on the forefront all the time. Incidentally, these things are pretty common in a marriage and do not signify the end of the road in a marriage. You can always put your marriage back on tracks even when there are tell-tale signs of the growing distance between the two of you. You can achieve this by talking to your spouse and clearing the issues which are causing the rift. However, be prepared for some ego bashing while you do this. But if you truly love your spouse and sincerely want to save your marriage the end justifies the means.

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Whenever I encourage people to upgrade their relationships I get interesting reactions. Most people do not have much of an idea of what I am talking about. Let me explain. We all interact with lots of people on a daily basis. Some are family members, others co-workers, neighbors, friends, mailmen, grocery clerks etc.

Think about which of your relationships enhance your life, which are neutral, and which need upgrading. By upgrading I mean having people in your life that you enjoy because they are positive.

If there are people in your life that that pull you down you may want to ask yourself why you allow people into your life that affect you negatively. Here is the simplest way to decide if your life needs upgrading. If you have relationships that sap your vibrancy it is time to upgrade.

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We have two kinds of relationships. There is your biological family and then there are the relationships that we choose. If some of your family relationships are toxic you may want to see if they can be changed or you may have to decide if you want them in your life.

The second kind of relationships are the people we choose to have in our life. These are our chosen communities. The real benefit of chosen communities is being able to form relationships that bring out
the best in us. And when we bring out our best we are upgrading ourselves.

We need both our biological and our chosen communities. If it is possible to upgrade your biological community it may well be worth the effort. It is important to remember that the only one we have control over is ourselves ans that we cdan not change others. By upgrading your relationships your will upgrade who you are and your life becomes more vibrant.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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What Do We Know (so far) about Human Behavior?

The following traits were isolated, along with the estimated percentage of the inherited trait:

o Extroversion (mixed easily, likes to be the center of attention): 61%
o Conformity (respects tradition and authority; follows the rules): 60%
o Worry (easily distressed and frustrated; feels vulnerable): 55%
o Creativity (tendency to become lost in thought and abstraction): 55%
o Paranoia (feels exploited, thinks "world is out to get me"): 55%
o Optimism (confident, cheerful, upbeat): 54%
o Cautiousness (avoids risks and dangers; takes safe route): 51%
o Aggressiveness (tends to be violent; has a taste for revenge): 48%
o Ambitiousness (works hard to achieve goals; perfectionist): 46%
o Orderliness (plans carefully; tries to make rational decisions): 43%
o Intimacy (prefers emotional closeness): 33%

What else?

Here are some basic facts and agreed upon assumptions that have a valuable impact regarding counseling and therapy:

1. Human beings are biological creatures - our biology determines our behavior to a grate extent, but we are not rigidly programmed by it.

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2. Every person is different, yet much the same - our personalities, intellects and interests differ, but we are similar in our capacities to think, feel, remember and so on.
3. People can be understood fully only in the context of their cultural, ethnic identity and gender identity - since beliefs about right and wrong, food preference, language usage, religious practice, as well as male or female essence are influenced by the socio-cultural forces.
4. Human lives are a continuous process of change - because of the biological tract that leads us from infancy to old age, and because of life events and experiences.
5. Behavior is motivated - and helps us to meet our needs. However, not all our motives are simple or easy to reveal.
6. Human are social animals - and not only in order to accomplish things that single individuals cannot. We need company. We suffer when we are lonely.
7. People play an active part in creating their experiences - the human nervous system interprets the outside world and creates the reality for us.
8. Behavior can be adoptive or maladaptive - and each direction could be changed.

The conclusion is both simple and impressive: we all are capable to adopt and change; therapy and counseling do have a chance!

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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The best thing about women is that they're women. Straight men love women. I know this is brain-numbingly obvious, but women can sometimes make things more complicated than they should be.

A lot of women tear their hair out (not literally) trying to get better at understanding men. They try to understand what we like and don't like about them. They obsess about the little things and what we might have meant by something we said. Ultimately, we don't choose to communicate on such a deep level. What you see is what you get with us.

I'm not going to sit here and preach to you about how to become more of a woman. You have the genes in your system and the natural know-how.

I firmly believe in women's intuition; it's pretty scary sometimes what you ladies can tell us about ourselves.

All I'm saying is that if you stop trying too hard to attract or impress and just go with the flow, your femininity can more often than not work you into our heart.

What do guys specifically like about femininity, you ask?

Well, I can't vouch for the 3 billion males in the entire planet, but some of the feminine traits that I like in my girlfriend is her ability to calm me down if I'm worked up. If you can focus on your feminine traits that your man can't live without, you don't have to worry about losing your man.

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Some examples of these are:

1. Being stern and strict enough to help get him back on his feet if he's feeling down and out,

2. Helping me feel happy and appreciating the small things in life if I'm feeling blue, and

3. Making me feel stronger and more of a man by giving me the privilege of being her partner.

I also like how she makes me feel special by appreciating me for being that man in her life that she couldn't live without.

As selfish as it seems, everyone is on this planet for themselves. How does that work in a relationship, you ask? Well, the feelings we get out of a relationship come from another person and without these feelings, we wouldn't feel as happy.

If we didn't feel happy, then we wouldn't be as mentally healthy as we would be and that would in general decrease our wellbeing.

So ladies, just focus on being you, because that's what we love most about you. Don't lose too much sleep over understanding men. If you just remember that we like you in all your feminine goodness, that's all you have to know. You are beautiful just the way you are. We prefer you being comfortable in your own skin rather than all dolled up and out to impress.

You did all the impressing for us ages ago. We simply want you to be comfortable around us and not stress out over little things.

Now Listen Carefully-

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