How To Forgive My Husband For Hitting Me: How Many Times Do I Forgive My Husband
I talk a lot about forgiveness in marriage and relationships. Why? Because without forgiving those who have wronged us, we will never be able to forget the wrong either. And when I say, "forget", I mean in the sense that the wrong will never be brought up again to hurt or otherwise abuse our spouse with.
1. Forgiveness is the first step in repairing/restoring relationship
"But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who married the divorced woman commits adultery."
Matthew 5:32
Divorce is hurtful and destructive and God intends for marriage to be a lifetime commitment. (Genesis 2:24). Couples should never consider divorce an option for solving marital problems, and here's why.
Jesus said that divorce was not permissible except for unfaithfulness, but...this does not mean, and is not saying that a spouse should automatically get a divorce because a spouse commits adultery!
The word translated "unfaithfulness" means LIVING in a sexually immoral lifestyle, not a repented act of adultery. There is a BIG difference here between a continual lifestyle of sexual sin and a one-time affair.
Those who have found their spouse to be unfaithful should make every effort to forgive and restore their marriage.
2. God does not forgive those who do not forgive others
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
Matthew 6: 14-15
The simple truth here is that when we don't forgive others, we are denying our common ground as sinners in need of God's forgiveness. We all need to be forgiven at times, and we are all sinners!
When we ask for forgiveness from God and others, we should ask ourselves, "Have I forgiven the people who have wronged me?" It is all about putting ourselves in their shoes. We can't honestly expect to be forgiven when we can't seem to forgive others!
Do you need to forgive your spouse? Does your spouse need to forgive you? Submit to one another through forgiveness and restore the trust and respect that may have been misplaced.
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3. True forgiveness is found only from having faith in Jesus Christ
True forgiveness is found only from having faith in Jesus? Really?
"If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." John 20:23
In the above scripture Jesus was giving the disciples their Spirit-powered and Spirit-guided mission, which was to teach the good news about Jesus so people's sins might be forgiven.
But the disciples did not have the power to forgive sins, but Jesus gave them the opportunity of telling new believers that their sins have been forgiven because they had ACCEPTED Jesus' message. Because of their belief in Jesus, they were given the power within them to FORGIVE!
All believers have this same opportunity today! We can announce the forgiveness of sins with certainty when we ourselves have found repentance and faith in Christ. Wow!
4. Forgiveness will lead to change of heart
For those of you who have had a spouse who committed adultery, the bible says this:
The Pharisee's brought in a woman caught in the act of adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such a woman. Now what do you say?
Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any of you are without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."
At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?
"No one sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." John 8:3-11
Jesus is simply saying that he will forgive us when we have faith enough in him to turn our life around and sin no more.
This is an excellent scripture! When Jesus said that only a sinless person could throw the first stone, he was actually highlighting several important areas in our own lives that we need to watch out for, such as forgiving others, showing compassion, and not to judge others who have sinned.
What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.
5. Forgiveness involves both attitude and action on our part
"Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written" "It is mine to avenge' I will repay, says the Lord. On the contrary: "if your enemy is hungry, feed him' if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will be heap burning coals upon his head."
Romans 12:19-21
By giving an enemy a drink, we are not excusing his misdeeds, but forgiving him and loving him despite of his sins. Jesus Christ did this for us. This is called "detaching with love", or Jesus called it, "turning the other cheek."
Forgiveness does involve a good attitude on our part. Many times we find it too difficult to forgive. We just don't FEEL very forgiving towards someone who has hurt us. It is at these times that we must try to be kind towards him or her.
Being kind to people who have hurt us tends to ease the hurt and makes us FEEL better towards them in our heart and mind.
Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. But you will discover that by doing kind things to those who have hurt us can actually lead to our feelings changing for the good.
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If the thought of marriage failure has been occurring to you, you must sense that there is something wrong with your love life. Don't be up set by my suggestion. It is a well known fact that many marriages go through a turbulent phase, giving the impression that things are heading towards divorce courts. But it is possible for everyone to stop the divorce and save the marriage. What is required is a dialogue.
The term dialogue refers to a two way conversation. In this case, it should also imply restricting the presence of other people including your children, whether infants or grown ups. Find a place where you can be alone for sometime with no external disturbances. A restaurant will be an ideal place. The advantage of choosing a public place is that it will force both of you to be restrained in your speech and behavior. There will be no shouting or angry gesticulations. You will be forced to contain your anger when one of you feel provoked by something the other person has said. I have deliberately avoided mentioning a bar as the point of rendezvous since drinks are to be totally avoided during this meeting.
What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time
Before leaving for the meeting, spend a few minutes jotting down on a piece of paper all the things that you love about your partner. On the opposite column, write down the things about your partner that drive you nuts. You may be surprised to find that 'the things I like' list is longer than 'the things I hate' list. Anyway, don't worry if it is the other way, because you are going to straighten out many things during the meeting.
When you see your partner at the venue, bring to your mind some of the things you have written in 'the what I like about my partner' list. This will have the instant effect of kindling feelings of love in your mind which will reflect as a warm smile on your face. This in turn will ignite a spark of kindness in your partner even if they have come with a hostile attitude. Well begun is half done and you are on your way to making up with your partner.
Since you are determined that you are going to prevent marriage failure, you only need to create a similar feeling in your partner. Any relationship can be saved if both parties want it to happen and are prepared to work towards the goal. You only have to persuade your partner that it is worth saving what you have and convince them to help prevent marriage failure.
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Most people who are in love will sooner or later end up in a marriage. But the newlyweds' don't always know what they signed up for. In order for people to have successful marriages it's important to realize that it's a long term commitment that will last for the rest of their lives.
The love that once blossomed between you and your loved one might not be as strong as it once was. You need to realize that it's OK to face problems in your marriage. It will face hardships and turmoil like any other part of your life. Marriage stress is perfectly normal.
Just like the weather changes in the different weather seasons so will your marriage. You might like the summer and sun but loathe the winter with it's cold and harsh climate.
But just because you dislike it you won't simply give up and move to a warmer country. Your marriage works the same way, you need to live through the hard and harsh times that it faces and work your way to a better tomorrow. It's the number one principle behind successful marriages.
Aside from this golden rule there is some important marital advice I have to give you that is important to remember.
Respect
Mutual respect is a very important for both of you. You and your partner might have a difference of opinion on a number of different subjects. It's important to remember that we are all individuals with free will, this is perfectly natural.
As long as you remember the common faiths and beliefs that you marriage rests upon will your marriage will survive any hardships.
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?
To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!
Trust
Trust is another critical factor that must be handled with care to make your marriage successful. If you are suspicions of your partners behavior the very best thing you can do is to confront her/him directly in a calm and normal manner.
Having an open communication will minimize the risk for friction and keep your marriage strong.
Patience
Life can't always be sunny and bright. Even the sun has dark spots. Your marriage will most likely face hardships in some point in time. Again communication is very important so that you can both work towards a better tomorrow.
Marriage is a long term commitment that must be nurtured, or else it will become stale and
weak.
The most successful marriages work because all of these factors are handled with care.
And don't be afraid to accept marital advice from friends and family, they are or have probably been in a similar situation and know what you are going through. It will make it much easier to deal with marriage stress and other related problems.
If your marriage is on the rocks because the fizzle has flopped in the bedroom, you're not alone. Plenty of people have the same problems...and statistics show that a large portion of folks end up in a broken marriage as a result.
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More often than not, it is a build-up of a few things that causes a marriage to slide downhill. It could be that your marriage has become a comfort zone over the years, and important things have been forgotten because you and your spouse became too used to each other. All it takes is a little effort from both you and your spouse to revive your marriage and keep it that way for good.
Usually, one of the first things to gradually disappear in a marriage is communication. The thing is, when you are married for a long time, you get to know each other so well, that it is not necessary to say a lot of the things that you used to say. The only problem with this is that it becomes a habit, and after a while, you and your spouse hardly ever talk to each other. Starting to communicate is one way to revive your marriage, so start chatting to your spouse again - just like you used to before.
What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.
Another thing that very often happens in a marriage is when the husband and wife drift apart because they become very involved in their own lives. It could be that your job is taking up more of your time than before, or perhaps that you have a circle of friends that demand a lot of your time. Simply give your work and friends less of your time, spend more time with the person you love, and revive your marriage immediately.
When you first got married, there is no doubt that you made sure that you had quality time together by arranging exciting things to do. For instance, you probably had weekends away regularly, enjoyed intimate dinners at your favorite restaurant, and went out of your way to spoil each other from time to time. Start doing these things again and you will definitely succeed and revive your marriage.
It's easy to revive your marriage - just do all the things that you used to really enjoy doing before. Also, get back into the habit of telling each other as much as possible that you love one another - get that glow back into your lives! Not only will your marriage be back on track again, but you will also probably find that it will be better than ever before.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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