A marriage is something that requires a great deal of work from both parties to be successful. So often people think that as long as they are in love, that is all that is needed to have a fantastic marriage. However, that is not enough. While love is the main ingredient to having a happy and healthy marriage, there are several things that have to come from that love including respect and compromise. It is incredibly easy to fall into an unhealthy pattern and not realize it until problems arise. This often leads to unhappiness and sometimes infidelity which is one of the leading causes of divorce. There are many reasons for infidelity in a marriage, but a common reason is one partner feeling disconnected from their partner and seek a connection with someone new. If you are in a serious relationship, considering marriage, you need to be prepared for it. If you are already married and are beginning to feel like there is a problem or are considering getting married, there are some basic steps that you can take to accomplish building a healthy marriage. What you will find here is 8 steps to building a strong and healthy marriage.
As with everything in a marriage, respect is a two-way street. Both partners must have complete respect for each other. Without respect, there can be no trust and without trust, there can be no real bond. It is vital that any couple be able to feel close to each other and that type of intimacy is only possible when there are total trust and respect. If this trust and respect are not already present, take the time and make the effort to build it. Even if it is already present, you have to maintain and nurture it. Honesty is a very big part of respect. If you are not honest with each other, you will not be able to maintain trust or respect. being dishonest will kill respect faster than almost anything else.
It is so easy to fall into a routine where both partners are working all of the time, maybe even on alternating schedules. This is incredibly stressful on a marriage. It is of the utmost importance that married couples take the time to be together at least once in a while. Plan a special date night once per week, even every other week. If you are not together, you lose the connection to one another. Fun is also wildly important and should be incorporated into the time you spend together. This time should not be about only one partner, but both. Find activities that you both enjoy and just relax and have fun together. Create bonding moments that will inevitably bring you closer together.
All of the responsibility in a marriage should never fall to only one person. This will invariably cause a rift in a marriage. All responsibilities should be divided up equally between partners. If only one partner works, most of the household chores will inevitably fall to the other person, but this does not mean that the partner with a job outside of the home should never take on household chores. If one person is taking on all of the responsibility for a given part of the marriage, it will quickly cause a "burn out" which will cause unhappiness. If you see that your partner is having a difficult time, step up and help them. Just because you are working outside of the home does not equate to no responsibility within the home.
To have a successful marriage you need to be supportive of each other. During your marriage, each of you will undertake new things. You may not always agree with your partner's decisions and endeavors, but it is important to show support. When one partner does not feel supported by the other, it will cause tension. The tension will then cause arguments and fights. These fights will cause more tension until there is an irreparable rift. it is alright to disagree with a choice your partner makes, but you should still support them.
It is not always enough to just to be present, you also need to let the other person know that you care and appreciate them. Give compliments freely. If you think your partner looks nice that day, tell them. If they accomplish something, tell them you are proud of them. If they receive an award, let them know how amazing it is. This has to go both ways, each partner needs to feel appreciated and cared about.
Just like giving each other compliments, it is vital to say "I love you" on a regular basis. You have to remind your partner that they matter to you. If you stop saying "I love you", you lose a big part of your connection to each other. You should say "I love you" at least once every day. Good times to say it is first thing in the morning, before bed, when you get home before you leave, or any time during the day when the moment seems right.
It is a fact of life that you are not always going to agree with each other. You will want to do different things, eat at different restaurants, paint the living room a different color, go to different places for vacation. When these disagreements arise, you have to find a middle ground and compromise. Much of life will require compromise from both parties.
So often, couples quantify their relationship based off of how often they have sex. This is not what is important. Quality time together and taking the time for quality lovemaking even once per week is far more important than having sex multiple times per day. The same is true for the time you spend together in general. You do not have to spend every waking moment together, all you have to do is make the time that you do spend together count. It is always quality over quantity.
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