I Miss My Husband Long Distance: How To Stay Connected In A Long Distance Marriage - How To Nurture Intimacy When You're In A Long-Distance Marriage
The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how
to keep emotional intimacy alive when they are separated.
If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably already using email and the telephone as much as possible to stay in touch. But what else can you do to stay connected with your partner and not lose that special bond between you?
One suggestion is to take the extra time to also send "snail
mail" greeting cards, letters, and postcards when possible.
Buy an assortment of cards when you have a chance, and that
will make it easier to send out one or two cards each week.
Vary the type of cards that you send--some romantic, some
funny. You could also send postcards to add variety and show scenes of the geographic area where you are working.
In your letters and emails, don't only talk about what activities you've been involved in, but be sure to share your feelings about what's going on in your life. Ask feeling-related questions, such as "Do you ever worry that one day we'll have been married 20 years and we'll discover that we don't really know each other?" Also share memories and experiences from childhood and the years before you met.
Write your spouse a letter telling her (or him)what you love about her,what attracted you to her, what you admire about her, and why you want to stay married to her. Before you send it to her, make a copy for yourself and read it once a day to remind yourself of all the positives about your spouse. Ask her to do the same for you.
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Look for ways to create reminders that will trigger thoughts of each other when you're apart. For example, you might
consider naming a star for your spouse at the International Star Registry. Then, each starry night, you will both feel connected as you look for "your star."
You might come up with some other symbols to trigger your
thoughts, such as agreeing to think of each other every time
you see a certain type of bird. Or pick a car with special
meaning and think of each other every time you see a red
Camaro, for example. Perhaps you will both agree to listen to
a certain song on a CD before you go to sleep each night,
knowing the other person is doing the same thing.
Brainstorm about ways you can feel connected even when
you're not talking on the phone or emailing each other. Mail
your husband (or wife) a tape of yourself reading a love poem or sweet letter you have written to him. Send small surprise gifts when you can. They don't have to be expensive; they just need to show that you're thinking of him.
You could order gifts of gourmet candy, nuts, popcorn,
flowers, or other items from the Internet. Or you could give a magazine subscription to your spouse so she (or he) will think of you each time the publication arrives. Another idea is to send her a new CD that you think she'll like or a paperback book.
Consider creating your own web site where you can post
photos you both take with a digital camera. The pictures could show scenes from your life apart and also pictures from the times you are together. Over time, this would document your history as well as your current life as a couple.
Other ideas include having a print shop like Kinko's put a
photograph of you and your spouse on coffee mugs, or having a photograph put on a T-shirt or sweatshirt for each of you. If you have some common interests in reading or listening to
audio books, pick a book to read or listen to at the same time and then discuss it as you go along.
Put on your creative thinking cap and experiment to see what
works best for the two of you. By using your imagination, you can deepen your emotional connection with your spouse, even though you're physically separated by thousands of miles.
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Are you wondering how to save my marriage since your spouse does not seem interested in helping you save it? I know that is a tough spot to be in, but actually it is not that uncommon. Many times one spouse will give up on the marriage too soon, but that does not mean that all is lost.
All relationships require effort from both partners in order to be successful, so it should be no surprise that to save your relationship will require two people also. But you do not need him or her to sign on to the plan right away, just eventually.
What I want to discuss right now are things you can do by yourself as an answer to how to save my marriage and not only avoid divorce but actually restore the relationship to a healthy condition where both of you are again happy in each others arms.
It is frustrating when your spouse seems to have given up on your marriage and will not help you save it. I have felt that kind of frustration at times in my life too. Harboring resentment and anger is a common and easy reaction to that type of situation. But please fight those feelings because they will only make matters worse.
What I have found is that sometimes I have to be the first one to change. For some of us that is easier than for others. But as you change there will be two distinct benefits that you will notice as a result of your hard work and efforts.
First, you will feel better about yourself and be a happier person. This has so many benefits both for you individually and the marriage that I am not sure I want to take the space to list them all.
Just being happier yourself should be enough of a result to make you want to try; humans always seem to do better when focusing on others instead of themselves. In addition to that, though, is your appeal to other people increases also. Members of the opposite sex will find you more attractive, as hopefully your spouse will, and everyone else will gravitate toward you because you are more of a joy to be around.
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Second, is that most people when faced with someone doing things for them and treating them nicely, will, at least over time, begin to reciprocate. It just seems like the natural thing to do. We hope, of course, that your spouse will respond like most people.
Another suggestion for you to try on your own is to increase the attention you pay to yourself as far as eating right, proper exercise, getting enough sleep and even squeezing in some "me" time to cut the stress level down.
This goes back around to the self esteem and happiness factor in addition to the way others see you. You can never go wrong with looking better and being a happier person.
Ultimately you want to be able to start talking about your marriage with your spouse. One way that may come about is from simple human curiosity. If your spouse sees you looking better, feeling better, acting happier and being kinder to him or her, you may get the question "hey, what is going on?", and that would be fantastic.
At that point you have been given an invitation to explain your feelings for him/her and your feelings toward your marriage. (Remember, they asked!) Then, after you have shared what is on your heart, you can ask them to tell you how they feel.
If this is all done in a calm and loving fashion then you might just get a warming of your spouse to the reconciliation process, and then they will be asking how to save my marriage.
Doesn't that sound good? Will all of this be fast and easy? Unfortunately I doubt it. But apply yourself to the task of saving your marriage on a daily basis and seek support from a trusted friend to help avoid discouragement.
The steps above are a fantastic start and I suggest you begin right away. But there is so much more to learn and apply.
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When the subject of marriage comes up, many people want to make sure they have things covered and taken care of. Many of us are realists and our first thoughts are protecting ourselves. Of course, we can't protect ourselves from heartbreak, but we can prevent many other things from happening. On the other hand, some individuals feel that if you truly love someone, you need to give 100%. This article discusses the pros and cons of prenuptial agreements.
Benefits of Prenuptial Agreements
One of the major reasons people sign prenuptial agreements is to protect themselves from being 'taken to the cleaners.' A prenuptial agreement basically states that both couples retain the items, money and belongings they brought into the marriage and that neither will try to seek any sort of belongings or money that rightfully belongs to the other. This would include any revenues that come from the separate property or anything associated with it.
The major reason for this is to keep from having to give up a lot of personal property in the divorce. We've all heard how husbands or wives have 'taken each other for everything they have' in the event of a divorce and a prenuptial agreement is supposed to stop that from happening. So the major advantage of having a prenuptial agreement with your spouse is that you will protect your personal belongings and money.
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Another advantage is if you plan on having children with your spouse and you want to retain a large portion of your personal wealth to pass on to your children without interference or division of any kind. A prenuptial agreement allows you to keep everything that is yours and do as you wish with it. So, if you want your children to have it - you don't have to worry about bitter or angry spouses trying to take it.
Disadvantages of Prenuptial Agreements
With the good comes the bad, even with prenuptial agreements. While they are great for personal protection, not much could be said for how they start off a marriage. Marriage is supposed to be about trust, love and a commitment to spend the rest of your life with someone. A prenuptial agreement can often seem like you're sending out mixed signals. Your spouse may think, "If I am really loved, then why does he or she want to cut me out of their monetary part of life?" It can really seem like you're saying - 'I love you very much and I do want to share the rest of my life with you, however - I don't want to give you a single penny that belongs to me. So, no matter what we share through life, you're not getting any of my money."
While that may be a little extreme, the truth is that some people think this way. It can really hurt your partner's feelings if they think you're feeling this way.
While there are pros and cons to prenuptial agreements, much like everything else, you need to determine what's better for your own situation and the health of your relationship. By using the tips and tricks in this article, you can determine whether or not to use a prenuptial agreement for your own marriage.
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You are more powerful than may think you are, with all your weapons and a true desire, you will have your man back in no time at all. A secret to get your husband back, is his own desire for you expressed in your eyes. There are many secrets about your husbands wants and needs, it is your desire for him that you can give in a look that will win every time. This is just one of many powerful tools you have, a secret such as this can be a lot of fun and the best part is, that he has no clue.
You will be fulfilling his number one need when you use this look, you will be telling the husband ego everything it wants to hear. Your husband has absolutely no idea that this is happening to him because he is an ego man, though he dose not know it. When you use this particular secret you should be careful that you do not fall in love all over again. This is a secret that will help you to feel the power that you already have, but just forgot about.
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I am sure you remember a time when all you needed to do to make your husband late for work was to shoot him a look. At that moment you "ordered" your husband to give you what you wanted and he just obeyed your command without argument. This is because you were speaking to his ego and not the man. Speaking this language will put the power back in your hands and you will win each and every time
A secret to your husband, is his desire for you expressed in your eyes. A look that penetrates his soul and tells him everything he ever wanted to hear. Only you never have to speak a word, the only thing you have to do is feel your own desire for your husband and demand, in a look that will have what you want. You are much more powerful than you think you are. Now that you have a secret to get your husband back do not wait another minute to use it.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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There are specific techniques that will show you exactly what to do and what to say to get your spouse back in your arms- Especially if you are the only one trying... Visit Save The Marriage to find out more.
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