Dealing With A Miserable Wife: Wife Is Never Happy With Anything

Dealing With A Miserable Wife: Wife Is Never Happy With Anything

"She's always on my case about something," Sam complains to his buddy about his wife.

To Sam, it seems as if his wife is never satisfied with anything that he says or does. She criticizes the way that he cares for their children, how he paints a wall and even the way that he handles his boss at work.

While Sam loves his wife and wouldn't leave her, for anything, he wishes that she would get "off his back" so that he could relax and enjoy being married to her.

Does it feel like your wife is constantly pushing you to do or be something that you're not?

Perhaps, to you, this comes through in her judging and blaming comments. However you perceive your wife's disapproval of you and how you are living your life, the results are the same... it can feel like you can't be happy until she is happy.

This is only partly true, of course.

If your spouse is upset with you-- and she makes her assessment of you clear-- it probably does have an effect on how you feel. However, if you meet her disapproval and criticisms with the same kind of reaction (disapproval and criticisms), you will undoubtedly only make things worse.

Then, you will be even unhappier than before!

Here's what to do to improve your marriage and your overall enjoyment of your life too...

#1: Be honest.
Too often, men shrug it off when they feel like their woman is "on their back." It can seem like the easier and safer response to make. However, this will usually only cause you more upset and conflict down the road-- within yourself and with your spouse.

Instead, be honest both with yourself and with your woman.

Notice it when you feel irritated, angry, sad or hurt. Being a man is NOT pretending that you are so stoic that you have no feelings.

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You can let your woman know that the way that she communicated to you her displeasure with a choice you made hurt your feelings was annoying. You can create some "communication rules" with your woman so that you both talk to one another in ways that are not put downs.

It is possible to be both honest AND respectful as you and your woman stay connected while being true to what you think and feel in the moment.

#2: Own your role.
It's tempting in any relationship to focus mostly on how the other person-- in this case, your wife-- is causing all of the problems. Take responsibility for your share (no more, no less) of whatever the dynamic is between you and your spouse.

If you feel like she's always on your case for not following through with your promises, be willing to assess whether or not she has a point. You don't have to play the "bad guy" in order to own your role.

Let her know that you can hear what she's saying and tell her what you plan to do to improve the situation or change your habit. At the same time, you can suggest ways that your woman might support you by changing a few habits of her own that lead to disconnection. Do this gently and with love.

#3: Open up to solutions where you both "win."
Chances are, if you feel as if your woman is on your case and critical, there's probably something that she wants you to do that you don't want to do.

It may be that you agreed to take care of a task that you did not want to take care of just to end the conversation and move on. But, now that the whole issue has resurfaced (because you didn't do what you promised to do), you are faced, yet again, with the disagreement between you and your woman.

Be honest and acknowledge that you just don't agree. Invite your spouse to look for solutions with you that will help you both feel like you've "won," instead of an "I win- you lose" situation.

These solutions are out there. You might need to be creative and open your mind more than it is now, but they are available to you.

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Jason wants more than anything else to keep his wife happy and satisfied. It's important to him to be a devoted husband and family man. The last thing he wants is for his relationship to become tense, boring or unhappy.

He's seen more than a few marriages of friends gradually decline and then end because of cheating or because the couple grew apart. The trouble is, it seems challenging to keep the spark alive and fresh in a long-term relationship.

Jason wonders if it isn't just inevitable for a marriage to become ho-hum and dull.

While this may be different than what your friends, family or even your spouse tell you...I whole-heartedly disagree with the assumption that many make that a marriage will inevitably fade into a boring and passion-less relationship.

One way to create the kind of marriage that continues to be an exciting and enriching experience is to make your wife is happy. If you follow this advice, it's likely that you will be happier and feel more fulfilled by your marriage too.

This is NOT about you holding back your own preferences and desires in order to keep the peace. That is NOT making your wife happy, by the way.

This is about you being the kind of partner that positively contributes to the close and connected kind of relationship you want that will help you both feel more alive.

3 keys to making your wife (and you) happy...

#1: Stay engaged.
In the midst of trying to pay your bills, mow your lawn, keep up with your favorite sports teams, drive your kids to and from lessons and practices and more, it can be too easy to "check out."

This means that you are merely trying to keep up with all of the responsibilities in your life and at a certain point it becomes too much. You might start to feel overwhelmed and so you stop engaging as much as you used to.

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For instance, you are interested in what your wife is saying to you about her day at work or some issue going on in her life, but you aren't fully focused on the conversation.

If you have a habit of multi-tasking, stop. Make sure that for at least 10 minutes (or more) each day, you and your partner set aside all that you are doing and you only give your attention to one another.

Take turns sharing and really listening to one another.

If you find that you are "checking out" because you feel overwhelmed, make time to relax and rejuvenate yourself before you have that daily connecting conversation with your wife.

#2: Stay passionate about YOUR life.
Believe it or not, your wife is more likely to be happier if you are nurturing your own passions. While it's important for you and your spouse to spend time connecting with one another, it's just as important for you to listen to what you are interested in and then follow up by doing it.

If you have hobbies or personal pursuits, find ways to fit those into your life. These might be activities that you can share with your wife directly or they may be things that you do on your own.

She can still benefit from you following your interests because you will most likely be more lit up and excited about life in general when you are exploring new aspects of you.

#3: Stay passionate about her.
Continue to cultivate passionate feelings about your wife. Remember why you fell in love with her in the first place. Let yourself get romantic and "sappy" when you feel that way. Chances are, she'll love this!

Be sure to notice the improvements that your partner is making to herself and her own life. Appreciate all that she brings to you and your relationship.

There's nothing more passion-inducing than appreciation.

Channel your appreciation, romance and emotions into every interaction you have with her.

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Men are sometimes portrayed as sex crazed maniacs who care for just one thing and will do whatever it takes to get it. This is very unfair for the vast majority of men who are married and committed but are living in a world where sex is lacking and the intimacy that it creates is wounding to a man's self esteem and happiness. Sexless wives are a big problem and can lead to many unsavoury situations for men and their spouse... unless you take steps to mend this divide.

It is possible to overcome this mismatch in libidos but it does require careful attention to both your wife and yourself and how you act and talk. Here are a few tips to rekindle the desire your wife has for you:

Don't Make It About You

It can be so easy to start talking about how her rejection of you is making you feel bad, unwanted, unloved and so forth. It is in fact very understandable because it is the truth and you want them to understand how much it hurts and frustrates you. But guess what, this is a sure fire way to screw things up even further! Women need you to understand their emotions and feelings well before you dump yours on her. If you unload because she is not ready to open up yet her emotional barriers will shoot up once more. Keep the talks about her and not you at the starting stage.

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Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Before you get started on that deep and meaningful talk that might uncover the reasons behind your sexless wives reluctance to be intimate remember that good communication and showing love is more than just words. Women especially react better to actions a man takes rather than what he says. Use this opportunity to break the routine up and inject some excitement into both of your lives. Take this opportunity to do some small but nice things for her. Take this opportunity to show her strength of mind and character. But whatever you do... never show tat you expect anything in return! This could take weeks or months for some but never demand anything in return. It might seem like a hard task but it may be your best way to thaw the frostiness and open her heart again to proper sexual intimacy.

Beware of Resentments

This is the killer. If you don't know what resentments are gnawing away at her heart you can say and do everything you can think of to help but in their mind you are not classed as desirable because your have some other tag. One builds up from perhaps years of tiny problems or perhaps from a few larger ones. Being able to spot these and solve them is an essential skill to solve your sexless wife problem!

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So you're now pondering the question "how do I get my wife back?". If you're like many men, you've blown it again and again. You probably forgot her birthday, your wedding anniversary, you didn't notice her new hairstyle, you just suck at being a husband. The worse thing is, some of her ex-boyfriends are starting to sniff around again and the last thing you want is to lose her. Here are two great tips I learnt from the relationship experts when I was seriously asking how to get my wife back --

1. Completely and totally surprise her

If you're a typical guy, you can plan the heck out of an activity. So do that. Plan a romantic weekend at the lake with military precision and throw in every corny romantic gesture you can think of -- flowers, chocolate, a hand-made I love you card, give her a sensual massage, read her a favorite poem, compile her favorite love songs. Just sweep her off her feet.

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2. Become an overnight metro-sexual

Become more of the sensitive new age metro-sexual that she's always harping about. You don't have to become a sissy, just a macho version of one. Figure out multiple ways of expressing your love for her, go do a guy make-over and stun her with your new hairstyle, clothes, underwear even.

There are lots of things you can do to address your personal challenge of "get my wife back". Go read up, research the Internet. If your marriage is really messed up and you find that nothing you do helps, all the more I urge you to get marriage help books either from the bookstore or online. You'll find a lot of material that can help you figure out what to do.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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