Are you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected?
Single and touch deprived? Feeling the need to share and have someone listen really deeply to you?
Ready to discover what it feels like to experience pleasure, passion, joy, and laughter again?
BUT JUST CAN'T FIND THE TIME?
Allowing other things to get in your way?
The simple, exquisite process of intimacy (or into-me-you-see) starts from within—and ultimately transforms every area of your life.
The kind of intimacy that nourishes every cell in your body and soul brings you a feeling of joy and peace from deep within. It is the kind of love story you read about, but typically feel like “that’s for everyone else and not for me.” Well, today’s article will show you the clear path – three simple steps – you can take right now to unlock your heart, CREATE THE SPACE and bring you back to deep love and divine connection with your lover, your friends and your family.
Showing up for something new where you know you’re going to TAKE RISKS to be your authentic self takes courage.
Unlock Step #1: Create A Sacred Space in Your Home Tonight
Twenty-five years ago I started spending a lot of amount of time at Kripalu. The healing I did there was profound but when I came home, it got lost in the shuffle of my busy life. I got distracted by my endless "to-do" list, my work, my son, cleaning the house, etc. Almost anything could distract me from sitting quietly and connecting deeply with myself. Until I create a sacred space for myself - and then my life changed.
At the time I was living in a tiny apartment in the city and did not have any extra rooms to light candles in or meditate in. What did I do? I set up a small table in the corner of the dining room (of all places!) and every single morning I sat down at that table, lit a candle, and meditated. I created a space for INTIMACY WITH MYSELF.
You can create a sacred space just for you (or for you and your beloved) anywhere in your home. This would become your space to breathe, meditate, do yoga, journal; connect with yourself, your partner and the Universe. Give yourself the gift of 5-10 minutes (more is better but even a few minutes is fabulous) to come back to your heart.
Unlock Step #2: Speak Your Truth
Speaking your truth is sometimes harder than it sounds.
Most of us when we grow up are taught to hide the truth. Not to be so bold and honest for fear of hurting someone else’s feelings, right? However, not speaking the truth eventually erodes the very core of our being; our sense of self and our confidence. Suddenly we don’t know who we are anymore.
Creating more intimacy in your life means sharing who you are; your essence. And your words express who you are. Speak your truth – share your true opinions, your clear desires, your discerning needs, your thoughts, feelings…all of it. Start small – choose someone close to you who is also on a personal growth path. Practice, get feedback and get good at it. Then try with others who you are less comfortable with. Don't let your hiding get in the way. Intimacy means allowing people to see who you truly are (and you, them.)
Unlock Step #3: Assume Everyone Is Doing Their Best
How often do you hear people taking something personally. The doctor was late and it was an affront to you; the guy speeding on the highway is “out to get me” — even the weather can be a perpetrator!
My experience is that most people feel this way. They grow up wondering why the world is against them and take most things that happen personally. Making a shift to assuming everyone is doing their best and not out to get you brings you to a deep place of love, acceptance and forgiveness.
In some ways this is not an easy task. You will need to find a way to remind yourself but believe me the practice is well worth it! The next time you find yourself wondering why the traffic light at the corner hates you, or the impending storm has your number, take a breath, remind yourself that the Universe is good and actually has your back (whether you believe that or not) and assume everyone around you is doing their best, that none of these things are personal to you (the world doesn’t revolve around us which is the good news!).
If you truly believe this, you will easily create more intimacy in your life than you ever thought possible. These three steps to unlock your path to intimacy are life-changing.
Being seen and known for who you truly are is one of our deepest human needs. Join me in opening your heart to the constant state of love that is possible and unlock the path to true intimacy in your life.
Give yourself the gift of time, and intention to make space for intimacy. Invite your partner, or friend to share openly and honestly. Find the right environment where you can get your touch needs met. Create a sacred space in your home to ground, and connect with yourself. You won't regret it!
Robyn Vogel, MA, LMHC is a psychotherapist, certified sex coach sex educator, and creator of Come Back To Love, Inc®. Robyn marries traditional psychological principles with spiritual tantric philosophy and practice. She teaches couples and individuals how to master the skills of intimacy and come back to love. Those that are struggling in relationship, feeling lost around love, and deeply craving purposeful and passionate connection gain much insight and healing in their work with Robyn.
For 15 years she’s been teaching and practicing tantra as a foundational meditation practice that grounds her clients from within, removes obstacles to loving deeply and teaches all aspects of healthy sustainable relationship.
Robyn facilitates a bi-monthly tantra workshop in the Boston area, leads weekend retreats and tantra vacations in tropical places. In 2015, she co-led Helping Couples Connect, a clinical course for therapists with Charlie Verge and has recently been recognized as an expert in her field by the Boston Globe. She is also the author of upcoming book: The Power of Puja: An Intimate Journey to the Heart.