Over 40 Dating: Sex or No Sex?

There are dozens of reasons that men and women over the age of 40 pursue romantic relationships. The reasons range from wanting to have fun, the desire to meet new people, a need or want for sex, or the hope that they’ll fall in love. Now, what if someone over the age of 40 wants to engage in a relationship but also wishes to take sex off the table? What if anyone of anyone age wants to do this? Can it be done in today’s society?

Realistically speaking, yes. It can absolutely be done. For each person who wants to have a relationship like this, there is someone else who wants to do the same. It’s all a matter of finding that person and connecting on an emotional level.

In today’s society, sex is a big deal. Many relationships seem to flop after sex is removed from it whether it’s because of an illness, a new child, or for personal reasons. The media and how sex and dating are portrayed can be blamed for much of this- after all, the media is everywhere and sex is as second nature to most people as breathing is. Because of this, the media has been able to turn sex into a sort of requirement that must be met in order to have a successful relationship.
Over 40 dating is hard enough already without the added pressure of sex being on the table. The pressure I speak about doesn’t have to be the pressure to have sex: it’s also the pressure not to have sex on the first date or within a certain amount of time.

Looking at it this way, it’s impossible to not be pressured into one of the two camps- for sex or against sex.

So, to remove the idea of sex completely, maybe we should try what many singles over the age of 40 have been doing: sexless dating. It might sound impossible, but it really isn’t that far-fetched of an idea. Sexless dating is when two singles can agree to go out on an official date but neither has expectations that revolve around sex. This means that neither part if expecting to have or not have sex. Sex, in this case, is just simply not being thought of.

It also means that sex isn’t mentioned, hinted at, or discussed in any way shape or form. The purpose of sexless dating is to connect on an emotional level. After this initial connection has been formed and strengthened, sex can come back into the picture.

If at this time, the emotional connection that was previously established is strong enough, sex should come easily and without pressure. Both parties should want to engage in the act and enjoy doing it.

When we look at sexless dating, it’s strange to think that the concept of not expecting anything sex related has to have its own term. Why is the idea of not thinking about, speaking about, or expecting sex such a big deal? It’s hard to say, but like I mentioned above, it probably has to do with the media and what the media portrays into our daily lives.

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