Dear Dr. Romance:
I need your advice. at my workplace when I was hired one of the colleague asked me what is your age I remember casually I said I am 38 ,I did not even had a hint of what was going on. after a month people were celebrating some bodies birthday and then I came to know that they write every bodies age on a calendar and they celebrate the milestone(10's) ,that sent me into spin; now this year as per calendar I am 40 but really 41 and some how I happen to avoid the celebration and took vacation but when I came back right after 2 weeks I was surprised they arranged my 40th ,I am feeling so embarrassed and hurt you don't have a imagination, I had no idea a casual answer will land me into this situation, now I don't feel like eating or going to work neither I want to quit this job, this is vey good job. people can really see the disappointment on my face also It is not easy to admit this stupidity it really will hurt my image what do you suggest to help me.I am very down to earth,humble person.I have learnt my lesson.Is there any way out of this mess, is quitting is right thing to do?
Dear Reader:
I understand that you are embarassed that you said you were one year younger than you are, but I don't see why it's such a big problem. What is hurtful about this? You're making a very big deal out of a small problem. Either decide to tell the person who arranges the birthday celebrations that the date is off by one year, or let it go. It will be nine more years before the topic comes up again, and you might not even be there. It's only a mistake, not a crime. Of course it's not necessary to quit your job. It's up to you whether you correct the mistake or not. No one will be upset. Please read my article "Your Primary Relationship" which will help you to take better care of yourself.
You might also like It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction which will help you build your self esteem.
For low-cost counseling, email me at tina@tinatessina.com
Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist in S. California since 1978 with over 30 years experience in counseling individuals and couples and author of 13 books in 17 languages, including It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction; The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again; Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, The Commuter Marriage, and her newest, Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences. She writes the “Dr. Romance” blog, and the “Happiness Tips from Tina” email newsletter.