There are two paths we can follow to get to love:
Love and Non-love
They both take us in the end to LOVE
This may make perfect sense to you or you may be thinking what on earth am I writing about today.
Let me elaborate.
Throughout the course of my life (I am sure like most people) there have been times where I have been down, lonely and super stressed. During these times it is hard to notice any good, everything looks bleak and hopeless. On these occasions, it feels like I am stuck – is the path of non-love. I either have a lack of love for myself, for life or people that I feel have upset me.
Then I hit a rock bottom point, where I make a radical shift in thinking and acting. This is sometimes a shift to give more love to myself, be kinder, gentler.
Or physical actions to change or improve something in my life that isn’t working: relationship, job, car, city, financial investment, friendships.
Or a change of heart and the way I view things, where I open to trust life rather than trying to control it.
So, in essence, the non-love times where I have hated life or hated myself – it’s brought me back to love.
I get to see the same amazing shift happen with men and women in my practice daily. Whether I work with both or just one in the couple it is always a journey from non-love to love. You see in every relationship struggling there is always non-love playing out. This can be happening in the inner world, insecurities, fears, doubts or outer experience in the relationship, tension, distance, resentment. Where love appears to be missing.
This can be happening in the inner world of a person or couple: insecurities, fears, doubts or outer experience in the relationship: poor communication, tension, distance, resentment. Where love appears to be missing.
This non-love ALWAYS leads back to love. The most amazing transformations I witness is when a couple reach that point where non-love becomes so apparent they instantly decide to act and reverse it. The turning point can be an explosive row, a threat of leaving, an argument that goes too far, an affair or another “final straw” act of non-love where the couple “wake up” and no longer will tolerate the pain of non-love and the energy that goes with it and make a complete U turn.
The most amazing transformations happen AFTER a couple acknowledge they are completely out of line with love. Where the non-love becomes so apparent they instantly decide to act and reverse it. The turning point can be an explosive row, a threat of leaving, an argument that goes too far, an affair or another “final straw” act of non-love where the couple “wake up” and no longer will tolerate the pain of non-love and the energy that goes with it and make a complete U turn.
Where they make the decision, enough is enough, let’s get the relationship back on track. There are many false beliefs “so-called experts” and the media would like us to believe about “working on our relationships” that just isn’t true! That is: relationship transformations take a long time, that you need to talk through all the issues to move forward and that you have to do it together.
The truth is change can happen instantly when you drop the past and move to love. It doesn’t need to take a lot of time and your partner doesn’t even need to join you. All you need to do is awaken your love energy, be love, forgive and self-love, then the shift will where your whole experience of life will be different. That’s what I help individuals to do:
Love themselves they want to be loved
Let all sides of their personality shine out
Feel love inside to manifest it on the outside.
When they do this, sure enough, soon enough they will create a reality that matches it.
All Paths Lead to Love
So the key point I wanted to make today was
We get to love even if we seem to be off-track
In fact, the seemingly “off-track” feeling is the fastest way to get to Love! Because nothing wakes us up to Truth faster than hurt and pain of a struggling relationship. Nothing pinpoints change than fearing it’s over or feeling disconnected and lonely.
So you are never off-track ever. Which I appreciate can be extremely difficult to believe at times.
Especially when you are in the thick of it.
Yet, it’s true
As I am sure you know
Just reflect back now to a time in the past where you were previously hurting, it could be a time in your teens, twenties or more recent; perhaps a breakup, embarrassing event, or a time where you felt low or in pain. Perhaps where you were close to hitting rock bottom, fed up or living life on the edge?
What happened in the end?
The chances are you made a decision that changed everything!
A choice that led you back to love. Either self-love where you took action to protect and take care of yourself or action to create more love in your life elsewhere.
Every single experience we have leads us to love.
Either through Love:
1.By feeling connected to ourselves and others
2.By practising self-love
3.By the joy, excitement and happiness life offers us
Or through un-Love:
1.By the illusion, love is something we don’t have
2.By our fears and limiting beliefs
3.By our discontent, unhappiness and despair
These times of un-love guide us to make a SHIFT to realign and awaken the love energy inside.
A huge part of awakening our love energy is facing everything in our life that is not in alignment with love.
Which means we have to become aware of our thoughts, beliefs, resentments and get rid of them. This alignment back to love can be done quickly. In a day or weekend, in fact, you can release the un-love and reset your life to love.
All you need to do is bring the non-love energy to the surface, then release it and align to love.
Is there anything that is causing you discomfort right now?
Any fears?
Any anger or resentment?
Any negative repetitive thought patterns?
Identify and cleanse – it’s that simple.
We are constantly evolving to love even when it doesn’t feel like it at all.
The path always leads to love because
We are here to experience love to the fullest.
To be a vibration of love
That’s why we transition towards love always
So if you do have doubts, fears, false beliefs in your way of love.
Just know that you are not doing anything wrong.
It’s part of the journey and you can speed up the process.
It doesn’t have to take a long time. Trust that everything is exactly as it is meant to be right now and in this moment.
Our insecurities, false beliefs, worries and doubts have to come up so we can let them go.
This is part of love’s evolution.
We go to states of non-love that lead us to love.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Rumi
When you clear the barriers you will find the love that you have been seeking inside of you.
This was a deep message, it’s so true though and one of the wonderful things to remember about life and relationships: all paths lead to love. I talk about this more in my empowered love masterclass
“How To Reignite The Love In Your Marriage In 45 Minutes Without Wasting Countless Hours Talking Over The Same Old Issues Time and Time Again”
To sign up for the next one visit https://training.nicolabeer.com/webinar-signup and if you cannot make it, sign up anyway because I will be sending the replay.
From my heart to yours Nicola
P.S Feel free to share this message if you feel it may benefit someone you know going through a tough time or that you think might benefit from a little more love energy by joining my empowered love masterclass https://training.nicolabeer.com/webinar-signup
Nicola Beer is an International Relationship & Divorce Coach who helps her clients find peace and create a new beginning after Marriage Breakdown and Divorce. This includes helping couples on the verge of a breakup to resolve their relationship issues once and for all so that they can revive the love, passion, respect, and fun that's been missing.
As well as helping clients during and after Divorce to manage stress, create more income and adjust to new financial realities, redefine who they are, create a new social life, and when they are ready to attract someone great. Nicola also runs 2 parenting programs that support children through and after divorce
Nicola has combined 11 years' experience helping people with emotional issues. This comprises 7 years private coaching and 4 years as a volunteer for the Samaritans where she supported callers dealing with any emotional distress. She is UK certified in Coaching, Grief Recovery for Adults and Children, NLP, Time Line Therapy, Hypnosis.
Nicola's passion for supporting people before, during and after divorce comes from her own childhood, where due to the stress of divorce her mother suffered a mental breakdown. As 1 of 5 children the divorce was devastating for her family and affected each of her family in different ways. More recently Nicola's older sister with 4 children is going through a difficult divorce. Having experienced and seen the pain and stress associated with divorce Nicola is focused on proving solutions. She knows divorce doesn't have to mean disaster and takes her clients and their children from surviving to thriving. She is equally passionate about saving marriages, so has a program to overcome relationship problems.
Nicola works with expats and locals, Muslims and Non-Muslims from all over the world, mainly from Dubai, London, India, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, either in person for a 2 day intensive package or further afield US, Australia via video conference and phone.