How to Approach Dating as a Newly Out Lesbian

Most dating blogs like this are taught how to navigate the dating world as a heterosexual. There are certain rules and strategies for courting or being courted by a man, but when you discover and embrace your sexuality as a lesbian, it’s a big, unfamiliar world out there. Where do you go to find a date? What should you expect from your first efforts?
As a newly out lesbian, approaching the dating scene is a different and uncharted territory. But don’t worry. Here are a few tips to get you on the right path.
1. Find Yourself a Lesbian Friend
Every chick can attest to how valuable a wing woman is. Offline, dating for a lesbian is a lot different than for a straight person, and that means a mentor to show you the ropes is valuable. Where you find women of your sexuality and how you make that connection is hard, so when you’re fresh out of the closet, find a coworker, a friend of a friend, or someone in your neighborhood who swings your way and ask them to match you up with some interesting women, recommend great places to meet singles, or give advice to steer you clear of bad locales. Not only will this make you less self-conscious and uncertain, but will help you leap over the mistakes they may have made.
2. Start Out Slow
While it seems like a great idea to find the nearest lesbian bar and start making connections, you will be in for a surprise. You may live in an area where the LGBT + community is rather small, and that means pickings are slim for finding a match. As a result, you may have a lot of great dates right off the bat, but if they don’t pan out, you could begin to be discouraged by the lack of success and attention. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something more casual, you may not be able to find a great match or quickly run out of the woman you’re compatible with. Don’t take this personal and don’t let yourself feel a hit to your ego; instead, it’s time to search for broader horizons.
3. Find the Right Dating Site
You could always personally check out a new area to find singles, but why go to the effort when that same access is at your fingertips? Dating apps let you refine your search to those local to you or as broad as across the world, giving you a chance to find the perfect kind of match. But as you’ve already heard from your friends, not all dating sites are made equally. To save yourself the frustration and disappointment, find the right one by deciding what you’re looking for in a relationship. A hookup? A long-term relationship? Something casual? A fun night out and nothing more? By narrowing down this criteria and then narrowing it further to lesbian-welcoming or lesbian-exclusive sites, you can get the right match faster – and have some fun with it. That’s the whole point, right?
4. Join Dating Chat Rooms
Dating chat rooms are all the fun of a nightclub without the noise, crowded spaces, or the minimum drink rate. It gives you a chance to meet a lot of people in a controlled environment, and if conversation skills are way high on your list, it quickly weeds out the boring duds from the charming wordsmiths. Even more so, if you don’t have a lesbian club or bar nearby and don’t like that awkward uncertainty of wondering whether a beautiful woman in a regular bar shares your sexuality, then no problem. Joining a lesbian chat lets you connect with women under no uncertain terms; some who wouldn’t attend a nightclub, aren’t in your area, or just didn’t feel like going out. Now you can make a great first impression based off your personality and charm, even if you’re not a great dancer.
5. Do Some Meet Ups!
After you’ve spent some time polishing up your online dating profile, have made a few matches, and have had a few great chats, it’s time to take the next step and actually meet up with your match. If you don’t feel comfortable meeting up in person just yet, then start out with a Skype chat or a video meeting via your chosen dating site. This gives you a chance to overcome that initial shock of real-time verbal communication, and get an impression of their mannerisms, gestures, and vibes before you meet for real.

However, the most important part about approaching the dating scene is the same no matter your sexuality. Be confident, be yourself, and have fun. In the end, it’s all about meeting a great person and making a fantastic connection, so keep these tips in mind, and you’ll have a strong approach.