Contrary to what many people believe, anger management is not about suppressing or internalizing anger. It is just a set of skills that you need so that when you recognize that you are becoming angry, you will be able to deal with the situation in a more positive way.
Anger should not be suppressed because it is an entirely normal human emotion. In fact, when it is dealt with properly, it is even considered healthy for you. People get angry from time to time, but it becomes a problem when it leads you to say and do things that you will later regret. Furthermore, you shouldn’t let anger control you make you act inappropriately.
What Is Anger Management?
Managing anger involves recognizing what triggers anger, and learning to express such frustrations in a calm and collected way. It is also about unlearning those unfavorable coping mechanisms you are used to, and acquiring more positive ways to deal with undesirable situations.
There are various anger management techniques that you can practice on your own. However, if you’ve been experiencing a strong anger regularly, then it is advisable that you seek professional help, such as in the form of a counselor.
Self-Help Techniques for Managing Anger
1. Exercise Regularly to Stay Fit
When we are angry, our body releases hormones which are similar to those that our body produces when we’re stressed out. This is the body’s way to help us escape from any form of danger. The release of such hormones – adrenaline and cortisol – is useful if you need to run away from a dangerous situation, but not if you are not in any life-threatening situation.
With the help of regular exercise, the body slowly is able to regulate your body’s cortisol and adrenaline levels. Also, those who are physically fit have higher levels of endorphins, hormones that make you feel happy.
2. Sleep More
Good quality sleep can help the body combat different mental, emotional, and physical problems, which include anger. When you sleep, your mind and body get to rest and are able to rebuild damaged cells. Ideally, you should have around 7 hours of good sleep every night.
3. Focus More on Solutions Rather Than Problems
It is important that you identify what is making you angry in the first place. But you should not dwell too much on the cause of your anger. More importantly, you need to focus on finding a way to resolve your problems.
4. Avoid Holding Grudges
We should all acknowledge the fact that we are all different, and that we cannot control what others think, believe, and do. You should be realistic and learn to accept people just the way they are and not how you want them to be. When you end up being resentful, or when you hold grudges against other people, it will be harder for you to control your anger.
5. Be Aware of Your Own Mood
To avoid getting angry, you should know how to avoid engaging in conversations that you know might make you angry, especially when you are stressed out, tired, or even hungry. You are more likely to feel angry and act angry when there are other things you are worried about.
If you’re worried that your anger is becoming more uncontrollable, don’t hesitate to seek help from a counselor or a personal coach. This is an important step towards freeing yourself from the negative effects of anger.
Cecile Peterkin is a certified career and retirement coach, and a registered member of the Career Professionals of Canada and the International Coach Federation. She is also the Founder and Senior Career Strategist at Cosmic Coaching Centre, provider of career and life management services for middle managers and mid-career professionals across Canada, United States and Europe.