I find myself in a very dry place now Lord. My mind races with fearful experiences from days past. I can't seem to live in the 'now' moment.' Anxiety has raised its ugly head to ruin another day. I read a Christian book, read your Word, pray everything that weighs heavy on my heart, but I go to bed restless, toiling in my mind about tomorrow. Why do I allow myself to worry, you're already there...in tomorrow. How can my laying awake until four in the morning make the slightest bit of difference in tomorrow's outcome?
Where or when have we learned the art of mental self destruction? Has our thought life questioned us daily...how do you fit in, is what I'm saying have any relevance, I spoke and was ignored, it's easier to remain invisible. LIFE HAS GREAT VALUE! Laughter, a smile that's not painted on, a kind word received, stepping out of your comfort zone to help someone, being at peace with who, God has made you to be. Without his peace, the laughter becomes forced, the smiles are harder to pull up, the praise you're waiting for God never shows up, and your 'comfort zone' prevents you from being alive.
I've heard Jesus doesn't attend pity parties. Well I believe that Jesus probably doesn't enjoy them, but I believe he always attends. Woe is me probably isn't going to elevate your spirit or bring people to lend an ear, but I believe God relishes those moments of where we feel broken. It moves him to see 'tough' people cry, people whose layers of self imposed protection has begun to breakdown and God begins to see what's really at your core. How many nights have you beckoned for God's ear, only to wake up to dejavu?
If we can force our flesh to stop worrying about self, for just a minute...look around, there are plenty of people hurting. A lot of these people hurt more than you, they've lost a lot more that you and they probably by wordly rules, have no reason to be happy or try and carry on. You call yourself a Christian, who have you inspired today, who have you offered a helping hand, has this person seen the testimony of Jesus in your life?
I'm sick with this, the economy is terrible, I just lost my job, how can I meet this months bills? Woe is me, I'm so down and out, my life sucks. One thing is for sure...if you speak it, misery loves company and the tormentor is his name. Your brain, that wonderful computer designed by God feeds on your words, if they're constantly negative, pretty soon you'll find yourself depressed. Soon afterwards your health will begin to crumble. The painting of you life is becoming very ugly, but you're still holding the rest of the paint and blank canvas. What are you going to paint?
When you pray, begin to focus on others instead of yourself. If the spirit leads you in prayer...guess what, God's going to enter that 'pity party' and start sending the unwanted guest,oppression, depression and suicidal thoughts out of your life, because OUR GOD IS GREATER!
64 year old male, married to wife Linda for 43 years. We live in Virginia Beach, Va. I recently retired from Target after 9 years. Previously I ran routes for two local bakeries and Pepsi Cola, I was Import Manager for two Customs House Brokerage firms. I served aboard the USS America and was a Vietnam Veteran. God Blessed me to publish two books, Splinters On The Carpenter's Floor and currently on Kindle, A Carpenter Named Savior.