Why drilling down to a behavior's true purpose changes everything One of the most powerful NLP presuppositions is that every behavior has a positive intention. This does not imply that everything that a person does is 100 % positive - that would be utter denial of the truth - this presupposition simply means that all human actions and behaviors should be assumed to have a positive intention embedded deep down somewhere. It's pretty much like having a pet cat; and every time the cat leaves a dead rat on your kitchen floor, you probably don't start lashing out at the poor animal. Rather, you would probably smile and make a comment about how cute that is.
Therefore NLP teaches us to adapt a pre-supposition (or assumption) that all human endeavors are basically positively intended. Whether or not this is true is not important at all. What's important is whether or not this presupposition will produce more constructive and positive interactions with the people you work with, live with and interact with on a daily basis. NLP challenges us to look through people's irritating behavior and to try and find the positive intention behind it. It's not easy at times; but it's also not impossible and with practice, it surely does get easier and easier.
Some NLP exponents choose to rephrase this presupposition to the following:
"Every behavior or act is purposeful"
Looking at how people behave and act through this presupposition really forces your mind to cut through to the heart of WHY someone behaves the way he/she behaves. As a result, it puts you in a highly resourceful frame of mind - a frame of mind that's willing to deal with the core of an issue with a positive attitude.
Mind you, not everyone's purpose would be in alignment with some greater selfless purpose. Many times people may just be driven by selfish purposes; and that's not a bad thing at all. As mentioned above, what this presupposition does is that it brings that "purpose" to the fore; thereby allowing you to deal with it in a more constructive manner.
So practically speaking, this presupposition turns off all irritation / frustration and turns on your curiosity - which is a far more resourceful state than being irritated. The next time someone cuts you off while driving on the street; hold back on the bad language and try to get curious about WHY that person is in such a hurry - maybe there is a medical emergency or maybe he/she is trying to make on time for his son's soccer game - getting curious about the purpose really does change a lot, doesn't it?
Charles Bender MHR is a Certified Professional Life Coach, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Master Neuro-Linguistic Programming Trainer and Master Reiki Practitioner. He is the Programs Director for Chrysalis Institute LLC, Emotional Wellness Center located in Moore, Oklahoma. Charles also serves as Professional Life Coach for Information Technology at the University of Oklahoma one of Computerworld’s 100 Best Places to Work in IT 2010.
Business URL: http://www.chrysalisinstitute.com