Core confidence, coming from an inner place of authenticity by default will cultivate a healthy sense of self-esteem. Let's get clear here: self-esteem as I define it is not narcissism and is essential to personal power and a secure self-image.
If you buy into the idea that putting yourself down is "humble" or that what others say about you defines who you are and determines your level of confidence, you cannot live an empowered life.
Haven't you noticed how fickle people can be? They can love you one moment and vilify you the next. This is because what they think about you really isn't about YOU. It's about how they see life and how you fit into their paradigm of "reality". Reality is relative and as Albert Einstein said:
"Reality is an illusion; albeit a very persistent one"
It's an illusion because your view of the world seems real and "right" to you - because your nervous system serves to keep you feeling as safe and as "right" as possible. To the degree that you are aware that who the "real" you are, the essence, the "consciousness" that you are is not the same as what you think, you can run your life by conscious choice.
The minute we think that we are our thoughts or that what other people think about us is the "truth", we are setting ourselves up for a life filled with fear, struggle and overwhelm. It is very difficult to feel confident and like yourself if you base it on what the media says about what is "beautiful" (seems to change with the weather) or if you are afraid to make a mistake and beat yourself up constantly.
How will you learn anything new of substance if you are fearful of falling down? Trial and error comes with the territory of growth. It's just a matter of practice. Of course confidence grows with experience. Confidence does not mean you won't have fear; it is just the ability to feel the fear and go ahead and do what you want to do anyway.
When you understand what fear is in the first place, it becomes easier to manage. When we reject ourselves and fill our minds with stories of shame and guilt, we essentially paralyze our lives and constrict our possibilities for expansion.
Shame is just the illusion that there is something wrong with you at an identity level and guilt is the story that what you did is judged as unforgivable. Well, welcome to planet earth. Everyone makes and will continue to make mistakes. We do have laws that penalize certain errors more heavily than others, but forgiveness and releasing self-rejection is the doorway that we have to pass through if we want to take back our power from the external world.
You, the essence of YOU, is not the same as what you did, do or will do. Those are experiences. Accepting where you are does not mean condoning it and staying there, it's just that what you resist, persists. What you focus on expands.
If you look at yourself and others through the eyes of judgment, you block compassion and you block the powerful emotion of love. You slow down the ability to change. Love is a magnetic force, haven't you noticed? When you don't love and accept yourself, you make it very difficult to attract others who will love and support you also.
You will tend to attract relationships and situation to prove you "right" - you are not lovable. I broke through this FEAR - Fictitious Evidence Affecting Reality - and it has make all the difference between itty bitty personal growth and quantum leaps to peace of mind, joy and increasing expression of love manifesting all around me.
My self-esteem and confidence comes from the inside, from my core. So, more and more what others think and say about me with destructive intention (and you know what this is, it is not the same as feedback), bounces off like "water off a duck's back". This is true empowerment.
When you can increase this perception about life, you are less vulnerable to the fickle changes in other's projection about the way that they see life. Your confidence and self-esteem can be healthy and intact for no reason; it's just because you breathe.
Website: Visit http://www.ValenciaRay.com for your free jump-start report & audio, "7 Common Myths That Block Your Vision for Your Life - And What to Do About It"
Valencia Ray MD is a former eye surgeon who with clear intention sold her medical practice to now show women entrepreneurs and professionals how to eliminate blind spots that block their true potential and limits their vision for business success, happy relationships and good health.
Every week she gives uncommon tips and strategies in her Mind Muscle Minutes and blog, to expand your vision for your business, relationships and a healthy lifestyle, and how to make it happen! You can claim your free reports and learn more at http://www.ValenciaRay.com