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Even though someone looks like one person on the outside, it doesn’t mean that they will be one person on the inside. The reason for this is that there can be the self that they are aware of, their conscious self and then, there can be the self that they are not aware of, their unconscious ... Views: 117
Recently, a man may have thought about what it would be like for him to be a woman. Then again, this might have been something that he has been thinking about for many months, or even years.
When he thinks about this, he can think about what he would wear, what he would do, and how other ... Views: 116
If someone were to think about what their mother was like during their early years, they might not think of someone who was emotionally attuned, affectionate and supportive. Instead, they could think of someone who was emotionally distant, was seldom affectionate and was unsupportive.
Along ... Views: 116
If a man, who is caught up in his mother’s world, were to reflect on how he lives his life, he could see that it’s as though he is nothing more than an extension of his mother. He could see that he spends a lot of time doing things for her and very little time, in comparison, doing things for ... Views: 116
If someone were to take a step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that it is hard for them to freely express themselves. Therefore, instead of them behaving how they want to behave, it can be as if they are living in a prison and are only allowed to do certain things.
So, ... Views: 114
If a man were to step back and reflect on his life, what he may see is that, when he is around his mother, he becomes someone else. So, he can lose touch with his needs and how he feels and focus on her.
As for his mother, she can typically talk about what she has been doing and what is ... Views: 114
If someone were to step back and reflect on their life, what they might see is that they have the tendency to focus on others and do what they can to please them. This can be something that just takes place without them having to think about it.
So, when they are around another person, they ... Views: 113
What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on how they behave, is that they have a strong need for attention. Their need for intimacy, on the other hand, can be more or less nonexistent.
As a result of this, they will like having other people’s eyes on them and on what they ... Views: 112
If a man were to step back and reflect on his life, what he may see is that he finds it hard to stand on his own two feet, stand up for himself, and feel good. As a result of this, his life is unlikely to be very fulfilling.
He might see that he has been this way for as long as he can ... Views: 112
If someone were to take a step back and reflect on their life, what they may see is that they find it hard to stick to things and often say things that they later regret. As a result of this, they can have endless goals that they haven’t achieved and have fallen out with a lot of people.
Due ... Views: 111
If someone has gradually become consciously aware of the fact that their childhood wasn’t very nurturing, they can have the need talk to some of the people in their life about it. Now, this can be a time when the friends and/or family members that they tell are very understanding and ... Views: 111
If a man were to describe the type of woman that he is looking for, he could say that he is looking for a woman who is understanding, affectionate, caring and feminine. Over the years, he might have been with a number of women who were like this.
Or, to be more precise, he might have been ... Views: 110
If someone were to think about their early years, they could remember some of the moments when they were mistreated. This may have been a stage of their life when they were often ignored, rejected, put down, humiliated, and even physically harmed.
Therefore, the person or people who were ... Views: 109
If a man finds it hard to be assertive, take action and be emotionally centred, for instance, it can seem as though he has an underdeveloped masculine aspect. This is because this part of him will seemingly give him the power that he needs to stand up for himself, get things done, and provide ... Views: 109
What can be normal is for a man to feel low and even depressed, and he might even have moments when he thinks about ending his life. As for what his life is like, it is likely to be anything but fulfilling.
So, he can have a job that is soul-destroying, or he might have a job that is ... Views: 109
If a man acts as though he is an extension of his mother and spends a lot of time meeting her needs, what can be clear to an outsider is that he is out of balance. The reason for this is that he is a separate human being who has his own needs, feelings and life to lead.
Therefore, by behaving ... Views: 108
Even though someone is a human being and can, thus, be as well as do, it can be as if they only have the ability to do. They are then going to be more like a human doing than a human being.
So, practically from the moment that they wake up until the moment that they go to sleep, they can be ... Views: 107
If someone has an area of their life that is not very fulfilling, they can look into what they can do to change it. During this time, they can learn about how, once they become aware of how they are behaving, they will be able to change the behaviours that are not serving them and thus, change ... Views: 107
If someone were to step back and reflect on their life, what they may see is that, when they are around others, they tend to play a role. Therefore, instead of freely expressing themselves, they will go into a fixed way of behaving.
So, their focus will be on pleasing others, and they can ... Views: 106
Even though someone is a separate human being who has their own feelings, needs and life to lead, it doesn’t mean that they will realise this. As a result, they can typically come across as though they are an extension of others and are here to meet their needs.
So, when it comes to the ... Views: 106
Nowadays, it is not common to hear about a man who has taken his own life. At times, this can mean that he will leave behind family and friends, and at others, it can go further than this, with him leaving behind a girlfriend or wife and even a child or children.
For those who are left ... Views: 106
Even though a man has a masculine element, it doesn’t mean he will be in touch with this part of himself. If this is the case, he is unlikely to be rooted in his body; instead, he is likely to live in his head.
The outcome of this is that he can be very intellectual or even ‘spiritual’. ... Views: 105
If a man spends a lot of time doing things for his mother and often thinks about her when he is not with her, he is going to be directing a lot of his time and energy toward her. Thanks to this, he might not have much of a life.
And, if he is dating or in a relationship with a woman, he might ... Views: 105
What a man may find, if he were to step back and reflect on his life, is that he often feels worthless, down and even has moments when he thinks about ending his life. He might see that he has only started to feel this way in recent years, or he might see that he has been this way for as long as ... Views: 104
Not too long ago, a woman may have been with a man who was overly focused on his mother. And, now that it is over, she could feel tired and confused, but also greatly relieved.
This is because she is likely to have given a lot while receiving very little, and yet, no matter what she did, it ... Views: 104
If a man is not at work, and even if he is, there can be moments when his mother expects him to be there for her. After she has contacted him, he could soon be on his way to see her and do what she wants.
What this is likely to show is that his mother's needs come first, and his needs are of ... Views: 104
At this point in time, a parent who didn’t treat their adult child very well throughout their early years may want to get back in touch with them and have a relationship with them. What this can show is that they haven’t spoken to them for weeks, months or even years.
When they last spoke, ... Views: 102
If a man were to think about what his mother is like, he could think about someone who is controlling, critical, cold and domineering. Therefore, when he is around her, he is not going to feel free, supported, loved or valued.
Due to this, he might think that he needs to spend as little time ... Views: 102
A few weeks or months ago, a woman may have been with a man who was overly focused on his mother. Due to this, he would have directed a lot of time and energy toward his mother, having very little time for her.
At the beginning, though, he might have spent less time doing things for his ... Views: 102
What a man may find, if he were to step back and reflect on his life, is that when his mother feels down, he usually does what he can to make her feel better. For example, he might call her if he is not free, but if he is free, he might go and see her.
If he does go and see her, this could be ... Views: 102
Even though someone might have been able to function and perhaps function very well for most of their life, it could now be very difficult for them to do so. The reason for this is that they could generally have very little, if any, energy.
If so, it won’t just be a challenge for them to do ... Views: 101
What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that it is difficult for them to make it clear when they don’t want to do something. Instead, they can find that they have the inclination to go along with things that they don’t want to do.
They might see that ... Views: 101
If someone wanted to attain a thing, meet a certain type of person, or have a certain experience, they could do what they can to manifest what they desire. So, what they can do is use a visualisation technique where they imagine that they have already achieved what they want to achieve.
This ... Views: 100
Over the years, a man may have spent a fair amount of time learning about how to please a woman sexually. So, he might have watched videos, read articles and books, and had numerous conversations with other men in order to improve this area of his life.
Along with this, he might have had sex ... Views: 99
If a woman is in a position where she has been with a number of men who were overly focused on their mothers and emotionally out of reach, or even men who were emotionally unavailable, she is likely to be well and truly fed up. She could see that this area of her life has been this way for as ... Views: 99
If a man, who has the inclination to focus on and meet his mother's needs, were to step back and reflect on his life, what he may find is that he is ignoring himself. He can see that unless he is asleep or working, he is often doing things for her.
What he can also see is that if he is not ... Views: 97
After having been with a number of men who were overly focused on their mother and were emotionally out of reach, a woman could feel helpless and hopeless. If this is so, this won’t be a surprise, as this area of her life will be anything but affirming.
Over the years, she might have shared a ... Views: 96
For a number of weeks, months or even years, a man may have been in a relationship with a woman who didn’t treat him very well. This may have been a time when she would often put him down, humiliate him, disregard his needs and feelings, ignore him and even physically harm him.
Due to this, ... Views: 96
If someone were to think about the last relationship they were in, they can be filled with frustration, anger and even a sense of despair. This can be because the person they were with was not unavailable.
It could go further than this, though, as they might have been verbally and even ... Views: 94
For a little while now, a woman might have wanted to be with a man who is not just physically but also emotionally available. In fact, she might have wanted this for most, if not all, of her adult life.
What can then be normal is for her to have been with men who were physically in reach but ... Views: 93
A man can not only be overly focused on his mother, but he can also be oblivious to how caught up he is in her world. However, even if this was pointed out, it doesn’t mean that he would be able to see clearly.
If, then, he were to end up dating a woman and she were able to see what was going ... Views: 92
Knowing When to Let Go
Growth and healing are essential for my personal development. The work takes effort to see a positive outcome. One of the best lessons, I learned in therapy was to practice acceptance. I was in therapy with a Kaiser Psychologist in San Pedro, California who encouraged ... Views: 91