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betsy sansby MS, Licensed Marrige & Family Therapist
betsy sansby Quick Facts
Main Areas: Couples Therapy, Individual & Family therapy, Ask Betsy: Online Relationship advice columnBest Sellers: The OuchKit: First-Aid Kit for Your Relationships, Love Bites: For Desperate Women and the Clueless Men Who Love Them
Career Focus: Therapist, Author, Business Owner
Affiliation: American Association of Marriage & Family Therapists, Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists, Midwest Association of Marriage & Family Therapists
Betsy Sansby, MS, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist has worked with individuals, couples, and families for over 25 years. She is the creator of: The S.T.O.P. Strategy, The OuchKit, LoveBites, and other tools for couples. She is the author of Ask Betsy, an online relationship advice column, which you can read at: www.TalkAboutRelationships.net Betsy has also appeared in Redbook Magazine, and is a regularly featured therapist in the Ladies' Home Journal series Can This Marriage Be Saved? Betsy is available for counseling in her Minnetonka, MN office and for online and phone sessions.
A note to Couples from Betsy: Am I the right therapist for you?
If you're willing to work hard, I can help you take your
relationships to the next level. First, we'll figure out what you want
and what's keeping you from getting it. Then you'll learn to break the
patterns of defensiveness and blame that create pain, heartache and
distance in your relationship. You'll learn how to talk about even the
most difficult issues in a less reactive and more respectful way. And
you'll experience the power of taking greater responsibility for your own behavior to elicit more openness and flexibility from your partner.
Between sessions, you'll be practicing whatever skills you've
been working on, so you’re always making progress--even when I'm not
around. Each time we meet, we'll figure out what's working, what's not,
and what’s next. My job is to make each session challenging and
relevant, and to give you tools to help you be your brightest
selves--both inside and outside the therapy setting.
A note to Individuals suffering from depression or anxiety:
Research
has shown that isolating, avoiding, and worrying only prolong suffering
in those struggling with depression or anxiety. I can help you navigate
these troubled waters. I know them well. I can teach you effective
mindfulness techniques to help you navigate through fear and pain, and
prevent relapse once you're well again. You do not have to suffer
alone.
You can expect me to:
• Ask direct questions
• Notice what others miss
• Tell you what I really think
• Care about your well-being and your relationships
• Insist you do your homework
• Make each step as easy as possible
Don't expect me to:
• Sit and nod
• Agree with you all the time
• Avoid difficult topics
• Work harder than you do
• Perform miracles very often
Clients' Quotes:
"We got more out of our first session with Betsy than we did in 3 years of marriage counseling!"
"A quick update...things are FABULOUS!! It's like I'm
living with a totally different person...the person I always knew was
there-the person I fell in love with!! He's back!! Truly amazing...I am
grateful to you every day!!!"
"You did amazing things for us. We've had a great couple of
months realizing how much we love each other. We worked hard, but you
gave us the tools. Without them, we could have worked just as
hard...and ended up divorced."
"After our first session, my husband said he was the most hopeful he's felt in ages. Thanks, Betsy!"
"You aren't just helping us, you're helping us give
our beautiful girls the gift of a peaceful, happy home they can feel
loved in. Thank you for that!"
License: Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
Clinical Member: American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy,
Minnesota Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, and National Registry of Marriage Friendly Therapists
To purchase Betsy's Tools for couples, go to: www.TalkAboutRelationships.net
To contact Betsy: bsansby@comcast.net
Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from betsy sansby
Clients' Quotes:
"We got more out of our first session with Betsy than we did in 3 years of marriage counseling!"
"A quick update...things are FABULOUS!! It's like I'm
living with a totally different person...the person I always knew was
there-the person I fell in love with!! He's back!! Truly amazing...I am
grateful to you every day!!!"
"You did amazing things for us. We've had a great couple of
months realizing how much we love each other. We worked hard, but you
gave us the tools. Without them, we could have worked just as
hard...and ended up divorced."
"After our first session, my husband said he was the most hopeful he's felt in ages. Thanks, Betsy!"
"You aren't just helping us, you're helping us give
our beautiful girls the gift of a peaceful, happy home they can feel
loved in. Thank you for that!"
Getting Started With betsy sansby
Testimonial from Ouch Kit user:
"I owned The Ouch Kit for a very long time before I decided
to try it out. I had always thought that my feelings were too intense and my
problems too difficult for a piece of cardboard to solve. The Ouch Kit sat on a
shelf in my bedroom.
Then, a few
weeks ago my closest friend hurt my feelings deeply and I had a lot of emotions
that I didn't know how to deal with. I knew that it was going to be quite a
while before I could talk it out with her and I was having a difficult time
letting go. So, I decided to try dusting off my Ouch Kit and running a personal
experiment. I was curious to see how these little cards worked.
As I
started filling in the blanks on the Ouch card, two things happened. The
first was that I realized how confused I was emotionally. I knew that I was
generally feeling bad, but it turned out to be much more than that. I didn't realize how complex the emotional cocktail I was feeling was until I started checking off my feelings on the card. That
process really helped me to untangle my emotions and bring my thinking from
abstract to concrete. The second thing I realized was that despite how I was
feeling, I knew that my friend probably had not been as malicious as I allowed
myself to believe. In fact, upon filling out the "if I assume the best" section,
I discovered that "the best" was closer to the truth than I thought.
"The Ouch Kit
now forms my basic template for conflict resolution. It is a tool that leads me
away from feeling victimized to feeling empowered. It continues to amaze me how
simple the process is, and yet, how powerfully effective the results are."
When I
completed the card, I dropped it off in my friend's mailbox and was amazed at
how rapidly I began to calm down and put the incident behind me. I was thinking
clearly and rationally about the situation and no longer hung on to the hurt that
I had experienced. I could finally let go -- which is something that had always
been impossible for me to do.
The Ouch Kit
now forms my basic template for conflict resolution. It is a tool that leads me
away from feeling victimized to feeling empowered. It continues to amaze me how
simple the process is, and yet, how powerfully effective the results are. Betsy
Sansby and The Ouch Kit have given me the communication skills to achieve equality
and understanding in my most important relationships."
Josh Kaplan
