Browse Conflict Resolution

Marriage is supposed to last “forever,” isn’t it? When we decide to get married, we truly believe that forever will happen. Sometimes that’s easier said than done, because most of us don’t have realistic guidelines or tools to know how to make a marriage last. When we fall in love, we usually think that’s all we’ll need to be happy. However, when “reality” sets in and a couple has their first real argument, they both realize that their partner isn’t perfect.

Most of the times you do not want conflict to go unaddressed. It is your job as a leader to ensure that your team engages in healthy and productive conflict and to make sure that conflict is not ignored. After all desperately hoping that an issue will just go away is a great way to turn a small issue into a gigantic problem! Then why is avoiding conflict is one of the recognized modes of conflict resolution as defined by the TKI or Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument?

Have you ever had these limiting thoughts about your ability to relax? “Oh, I’m long overdue for this”, or “I definitely earned it”, or “I just don’t have the time to relax”, or ”You know, sometimes I feel like I’ve forgotten how to relax” Would you like to add more relaxation to your life? I sure hope so! Relaxation will help you to strengthen your relationships, restore your body’s natural good health, boost your productivity, calm your restless mind, and bring balance into your life.

Sometimes conflict cannot be avoided and that is not a bad thing. When you and your team or you and a colleague resolve a conflict together, you build a better working relationship. When I say to you, ‘Don’t give in without a fight’; I don’t mean go have an ugly nasty altercation. I mean don’t just back down when you have a disagreement, don’t avoid a healthy debate and don’t give in because it feels easier or you think it is the peaceful thing to do. It isn’t the peaceful thing to do, because YOU won’t feel peace and neither will your team.

One of the more common definitions of conflict is that it is a clash between two (or more) opposing groups or that it is a power struggle or a battle between opposing forces. When you think of conflict, you may think of it as a negative (think power struggle or battle) or you may think that it must always be about other people. Some of you may go as far as to believe that if it were not for other people you would never have to deal with conflict. Today, I ask you to consider a few questions.

The women next to me in line said to her friend, "I am so tired of people telling me what I should do. I just want to yell, STOP SHOULDING ON ME!" I could not help but smile a bit. Not at her annoyance and frustration, but at the phrase, 'stop shoulding on me.' I thought, "What a great expression." The expression stayed with me for days.

Do you and the people you work with share the exact same beliefs, perspectives, priorities and goals? Probably not. Hmmm, I guess that means you are going to experience conflict. Conflict is a condition in which people’s conce s appear to be incompatible. In fact since you and your co-workers are not intellectual and emotional clones of one another, conflict is inevitable. Conflict is a natural byproduct of our environment. Conflict is not inherently bad or evil (although some of us have been taught to avoid conflict like the plague). Conflict does not have to lead to fighting.

If you follow sports you have noticed that top athletes do not always perform consistently. A world class runner may break a world record in one competition and then not even place in the same event one week later. A champion weight lifter might break a record and then be unable to lift that same weight for several workouts. These are professionals, champions, stars - why can't they demonstrate peak performance every time? Aren't they giving it their all each time? Well, they are doing their best. There is nothing wrong.

“I am too busy doing the work to worry about all that people stuff”, said one of my students.

You have observed a conflict between some of your team members and you realize you are the right person to help them reach a resolution. How do you KNOW this? You have carefully considered the situation, perhaps using “Can You SHOULD You Help Resolve the Conflicts Around You?” as your guide. Your next move is all abut the HOW, as-in HOW to move forward. The optimal scenario is that you are able to prepare in advance. Today we are going to look at the first few steps to take to help you prepare.

The time has come. You have a conflict and it cannot and must not be avoided. Not everyone agrees on the solution and arriving at an approach that moves you and the team forward is absolutely necessary. Now what? This really does not need to be a big deal. But you do want to set the stage for a strong and healthy battle. Sure the word battle does not always have positive connotations, but when you have multiple factions arguing over an issue, you do have a battle. If it makes you feel better call it a competition.

Maybe you've mastered conflict resolution and you like to help others. Maybe you are the one that others come to for help when they have a conflict or you work in an environment where conflict occurs regularly. But somehow you find yourself stepping in and helping to resolve the conflicts around you. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It depends. It certainly makes more sense for you to be involved in healthy conflict as opposed to unhealthy conflict. And today we will focus on healthy conflict. What is healthy conflict?

7 Tips For Parenting From Afar Whether afar is across town or across the country these tips will help any parent who is not currently sleeping under the same roof as his or her children, due to divorce or some other reason.

In one of the first classes I taught, I had a student who was always scowling at me. It would have been really hard to miss that scowl. He sat in the front row and it was a small class in a small room. He was friendly enough when he entered the class room and when he left for the evening. But invariably at some point during our class discussions he would scrunch up his face and start scowling at me. I had no idea what I was doing to upset him. I spent a great deal of time thinking about it. I can’t say that I changed the content of the course I was teaching because of his scowls.

Where has all the love gone that you once felt for your partner? Do you seem to fight about everything? Has your partner become your enemy? How did it happen?

And which one do you use most often? When you understand how you handle conflict, you can begin to understand when your approach is effective and when it is not. Then you can learn to adapt your behavior and draw from different conflict resolutions styles as-needed. There are five conflict handling modes and one of these is your preferred mode. These five modes come from the TKI or Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument. What is the TKI? The TKI is a questionnaire designed to measure how you tend to handle inter-personal conflict.

“I'm tired of arguing” are four of the most defeating words in your relationships. And there really are better ways for effectively managing conflict! As a coach and human resource administrator, I've heard these words so many times and usually it says more about you than it does about others.

Do you have a problem with emotional insecurity? Do insulting remarks bother you? We will discuss ways to positively deal with those who try to insult you. Display your sense of humor when someone hurls a nasty remark at you. If you laugh when someone tries to insult you, you will feel better while possibly humiliating the other person. You can easily laugh away emotional pain. As they say, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Ignore someone who tries to insult you. If you igno

Learning the correct actions and methods to apologize is not enough. It greatly helps your understanding and success if you not only know what to do, but also what not to do. This article reveals to you the most common mistake we humans make when apologizing to people. The Most Common Mistake: A Non-Apology Apology Parents teach their children to say please and thank you very early on. They are then later taught to apologize by saying "I'm sorry". The children are unknowing

For many women, the mother-daughter connection is life's most complex relationship. So it comes as no surprise that many of us struggle with the relationship that we share with our mothers and many of us struggle with the relationships that we share with our daughters. As a mediator and as a woman, I am intrigued by how the mother-daughter bond can bring both conflict and comfort.

Never talk to strangers—that’s our parent’s warning during our childhood days for us to avoid bad people. But when you become adult, you are left with your own view and opinion of things whether this thing, people or event is bad for you. We can never predict what future is set for us but we can always prepare ourselves against bad events or situations. Watch where you’re goingrnIf you want to live a good life you are determined to work it out the best possible way. S

It may not come as much of a surprise to learn that some people enjoy arguments. They look forward to them and literally get health benefits from the experience. This is a fact. Others, however, do not like to argue. For these people, an argument is an unpleasant and unhealthy experience, one ... It may not come as much of a surprise to learn that some people enjoy arguments. They look forward to them and literally get health benefits from the experience. This is a fact. Othe

No matter how young or old you are, or how hard things have been, it’s never too late to review what works and what doesn’t work in your life. It’s easy to lose focus on what you really want due to the daily demands of life. However, there’s always a way to look at your life differently, to ...No matter how young or old you are, or how hard things have been, it’s never too late to review what works and what doesn’t work in your life. It’s easy to lose focus on what you really want due to the daily demands of life.

There is a significant difference between anger and rage. Anger can be viewed as a scale that ranges from minor irritation to intense rage. It can be very scary indeed when the scale tips toward rage. Most of us don’t have any idea what to do when someone we love becomes that angry. Do we leave them alone until they calm down? Will that enrage them more? Do you get angry back? Will that enrage them more? Can you even reason with someone who is that mad? Do you have to protect yourself from their anger?

In these tough times of economic and political turmoil, with a critical Presidential election right around the corner, everyone is talking politics. Hot political debate is being fueled around the dinner table, over coffee, over drinks, and at parties. The upcoming election is in the air! But what about couples who are in different political parties with opposing points of view? Can they live happily ever after? It depends on several issues:

How many times have you been in a situation with someone you know pretty well, maybe your spouse or your best friend, when you just couldn’t get through to them? For some reason beyond your understanding they just refuse to listen to what you are saying. They argue, they say irrational ...

“Stress is damaging to your health, so take care of yourself,” is very sound advice, but what exactly does that mean and how exactly do you take care of yourself and lessen stress? Experiencing optimal physical, mental, and spiritual health includes the good fortune of having healthy and ...“Stress is damaging to your health, so take care of yourself,” is very sound advice, but what exactly does that mean and how exactly do you take care of yourself and lessen stress?

Managing conflict with coworkers doesn’t have to be difficult. Below are eight simple rules that should both help you deal with conflict and improve your relationships at work. Rule 1: See conflict as an opportunity Your perception of conflict has a direct impact on how it plays out in your ...

All too often organizations cry out for what I call the quick fix. You know the scenario: two employees not getting along, probably personality differences, not real receptive to previous internal interventions, etc., so the organization decides to bring in outside help to fix the problem. ...

This question comes back over and over, it is the same in class with the kids, as it is at work as it is between families and countries.nnThe fact is that all people are equal on one very important level, at any age, any were in the world, all we really want is to be noticed appreciated, recognized for our being, to be loved and respected for the smallest contribution that we may make to society.nnIt begins in very early age, some have it more naturally, as they have some spe

Does your spouse take credit for your ideas? Or do people compliment your spouse for tasks or projects that you did? Do you get the credit where credit is due?

The first argument is the most crucial argument you will ever have in your relationship, setting the stage for all arguments to follow. Future conflicts will often look and sound like they’re different, but most times are simply variations of the first, unresolved argument. Understanding that the first argument is a tool for healing, rather than just a random conflict, can spare yourself years of grief, hopelessness, and helplessness in your relationships.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Do any of you remember that charming little childhood chant? It was meant to ward off the cruel verbal taunts we received from other children. Sometimes kids can be very harsh with their teasing. Sometimes adults can be very harsh with their words too. And the above childhood chant, well sometimes it may have helped you but most of the time it You see words are a very powerful tool. Expressing our thoughts as words is one of the strongest powers we possess as human beings.

Sounds crazy, but it’s true! Simply put, the first argument you have with your partner, if left unresolved, will manifest itself time and time again - in different forms – throughout your entire relationship.

It's the most wonderful time of the year... Or so they say. While the end of year holidays are supposed to be a time of peace, love, and joy, it often turns out to be a time of stress, depression and worry -- especially as people struggle to create some "holiday magic" for their friends and ...It's the most wonderful time of the year... Or so they say.

You’re in a new relationship, and you’re starting to see some red flags, warning you that the relationship may not be a good bet, but does that mean you should leave? How many red flags does it take to make that decision? How do you know if the red flags mean future disaster, or are just a warning?

"Karma, or cosmic justice, puts everyone into conditions where they can either learn or atone for something." Helena Roerich Is Karma fair? In Biblical terms, karma is reaping what you sow. As it turns out, that word “karma” has karma of its own. It sometimes has bad press because some people only think of karma as something bad coming back to punish them. It is really just the principle of cause and effect but it is not merely limited to an act like slapping someone and getting slapped back. Karma is also the sum total of all we have done and all that has been done to us.

Male or female friendships are usually a threat to the primary relationship, but they really don’t HAVE to be. What fears us the most is the sexual aspect of this oftentimes complicated relationship. It’s difficult to keep the friendship platonic, given that 90% of the time, one of the friends has experienced romantic feelings for his/her friend. Sometimes this is talked about, and sometimes it isn’t, but the feelings are there. The primary relationship can then be affected with secrets, lies, and avoidance.

Conflict happens in relationships. And the tension it brings is opportunity knocking at the door. We actually learn more by listening than we do by talking! When we are experiencing contrast or conflict with others, we are usually trying our best to persuade them to our point of view. And that means we just keep talking - hoping the others will see the light of our perspective. What happens if you shift your strategy and start listening - really listening? There are many benefits for you if you will apply this one very important communication tool in resolving conflicts. 1.

Sounds crazy, but it’s true! Simply put, the first argument you have with your partner, if left unresolved, will manifest itself time and time again - in different forms – throughout your entire relationship. When we fall in love and begin a partnership, we temporarily maintain our best ...

After a separation or divorce, the first holiday season can bring tremendous stress and sadness, in addition to feeling overwhelmed and frightened. Coping with loss and grief, coupled with changes in familiar patterns and traditions, can magnify your feelings about the separation or divorce during the holiday season. Up to this point, you may have felt you were making progress in moving on with your life, but the holidays seem to emerge with feelings of grief all over again!

That old phrase, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me” is not really true. Words may not inflict visible bruises like sticks and stones, but they pack a punch nonetheless. They injure our insides, our feelings, and our self-esteem. Exte al bruises are tangible proof that we’ve been hurt. Internal bruises from verbal attacks are harder to prove, harder to acknowledge, and harder to talk about.

With the holidays around the corner, and before the stress and panic really hit, make this a time to look at your relationship and take inventory to see what's working and what isn't. Begin to NURTURE your relationship NOW, in new and more effective ways, so that the holidays can be a time of closeness and connection, rather than fighting and resentment.

Is it possible for something good to come out of the economic downtu ? Can a relationship, even one that may be experiencing its own hard times, come out better for surviving the hard times? Here are some ways to use the recession to your benefit: 1. Back to Basics. View this as an ...Is it possible for something good to come out of the economic downtu ? Can a relationship, even one that may be experiencing its own hard times, come out better for surviving the hard times? Here are some ways to use the recession to your benefit:

One of the greatest desires married couples have is to stay together forever and have a happy, healthy relationship. But what about past hurts that you can’t let go of? Are they creating more pain than happiness in your relationship?

We all seem to think that we need to find our perfect mate or soul mate. But does a perfect mate even exist and, if so, does this mean that the only way to be happy is to find this perfect soul mate? What if you don’t? What if you spend your entire life looking, only to end up alone in your fantasy delusion because you didn’t find him/her? Are we really searching for fantasy in our relationships?

For most of us, we want the holidays to be fun and exciting. But more often than not, the holiday season evokes tension and stress. By spending more money than our budgets allow, or going overboard by eating the wrong foods, or taking on too many activities…these exte al stressors are only a piece of the bigger picture. These problems only compound when we are faced with unresolved family issues and budget limitations.

When is it time to say, “My relationship is in trouble, and we need help”? How do you know when that time is? When couples wait too long to ask for help, the relationship may be beyond repair. The sooner help is sought, the better chance there is of recovering, saving, and actually strengthening the relationship. This includes issues dealing with affairs or other types of betrayal. The longer we wait, the more entrenched we get in destructive patterns and resentment, and all hope for change is lost. At a certain point, we don’t even want change…we just want to be done.

“Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win. “ Jonathan Kozol: On Being a Teacher, 1981 Truthfully I do not know if I completely agree with the above quote, I bring it to you anyway because part of me thinks, ‘well this makes sense, I want to pick battles I can win’; but part of me wonders, ‘is this discouraging me from thinking big?’ I have spent so much time learning that so many of us really under estimate ourselves, that I would never want the above to be an excuse for playing it too safe or not fully utilizing our potential.

This is the home site for the Center for Creative Conflict Resolution, a source for nonviolent resources for individuals, couples, and organizations. A link to a User's Guide offers articles, worksheets, and a summary of our classes.