Your Wife Has Lost Respect For You: How To Deal With A Disrespectful Wife

Your Wife Has Lost Respect For You: How To Deal With A Disrespectful Wife

Your wife has lost respect for you. You irritate her whenever you talk to her and she criticizes you all the time. You can see signs that your wife has lost respect for you. How can you regain back your respect again?

If she has lost respect for you, she will not listen to you as well and it seems like your words hold no value. Even if you try to intimate with her, it is either she does it unwillingly or she tries to avoid your request.

You may appear to be overly compromising just because you want her to respect you again. Perhaps, you have been trying all kinds of ways just to please her. Instead of doing that, take some time away from each other, this is to give your wife and yourself some space to breath and also to think of the problems in the marriage.

Another thing that you want your wife to respect you again, you should never be too demanding in your request. This will only make your wife detest you further especially when she feels stress about this marriage.

Learn how to be a confident man again. Your relationship somehow will affect your confidence so try to regain back your confidence doing things that you think will perform the best. Talk to your friends about your problem, they are people who are willing to share listening ears to you.

If you want to win back your wife's trust and respect, be the same man that impressed her years ago. What made her fall in love with you initially? Perhaps it was your kind heart, your drive, your romance. Think about it carefully.

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If you really want to save your marriage from all the petty disagreements and arguments that plague most marriages, then one approach to take is to row the boat gently.

We all know that beautiful song "Row, row, row the boat gently down the stream; Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream."

For too many marriages, it just seems like the moment the vows are taken, it is a signal to start instituting rules, have unreasonable expectations and start basking in the joy of "owning" someone.

Save your marriage from all of that burden and instead be gentle on yourself and your partner. Do not push. Do not make demands. Do not have unreasonable expectations.

In fact see your marriage like this - the world is the sea, your marriage is your boat, the paddles you are rowing with are your interpersonal tools such as how you communicate, the capacity to show empathy and compassion and so on.

While you cannot control what happens in the wider world outside your marriage, whatever happens for the most part that touches your marriage is likely to affect it.

Things such as rising cost of living is likely to affect how much resources you are able to spend on spending time together or even how much time you will have to spend together. To a large extent these are out of your control.

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But what is within your control is how you relate to each other in the storm of life. You can choose to row together in unison or make it harder by rowing against each other.

Then if you do choose to row together, you can save your marriage from all sorts of aggravations by rowing in a manner to create synergy.

One good example of this is in the way you converse in your marriage. Do you really listen and try to respond to what is being said instead of what is already in your head?

Rowing the boat gently could mean being gentle in your approach and resisting the temptation to rush to judgment resulting in inappropriate responses from you to your partner.

And about the "merrily, merrily" part? Well, live your life and your marriage in a merry manner. Celebrate and build on that which holds you together and you won't even notice that which could tear you apart.

Saving your marriage means taking an approach that will keep you in a place where there seldom will be a necessity to in fact save your marriage from anything at all.

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Faith, through the commitment of hard work, is the factor carrying improbable relationships through the years, not without the occasional bumble, to the durability of marital legend.

It's a legacy for the entire family.

It is struggle that often typifies such relationships, early on. The deeper and harder the struggle - provided partners are resiliently committed, and forgiveness is made live and real along the way - the more the blessings of endurance can be tethered and appreciated between the two.

THE BLESSEDNESS OF MUTUAL WORK

There is no better affirmation of the commitment between a married couple than the preparedness to work; most poignantly when there is much work to be done.

Their approach is realistically buoyant, noting the darkness that attains the moment and, equally, not being pinned down by it. There's a lot of maturity in that.

Work is a paradoxical thing. It's difficult in the act, but the easiest thing from the aspect of hindsight. Work, hence, involves faith. We work for reasons that are not always clear in our view. We work for a hope we need to believe in. And we believe in our partners; that's what marriage is all about.

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Better, infinitely, than work, however, is the mutuality of two people entwined in purpose of oneness.
That's where the blessedness of mutual work resides; the faith of two blended into the commitment of one. Such marital single-mindedness will not be broken.

ENJOYING THE DESTINED CELEBRATION TOGETHER

It's always such a great pity when significantly long-term marriages - in the form of 20 and 30 and 40 and 50 years - end before due celebration. Whether it is death or some other form of heartbreak matters little; partners party to those marriages both miss out. There is the legacy of memory and that alone can be celebrated. But the sense of real celebration is tragically cut short.

Married couples who reach milestones of celebration should spare a thought for those not so fortunate; it is further testament to the glowing miracle of faithfulness.

Celebrating significant milestones, particularly in the context of the chiding tumults that have forged forgiving marital characters along the way, seems perfectly inevitable; reminiscent of sweet victories taken from the jaws of many near defeats.

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Matthew 19:4-6 (ESV)
4 He answered, "Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, 'Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate."

The last couple of weeks there have been several reminders of these verses for me. I have talked to some couples who have totally ignored these verses while others are living them to the very end. My pastor's daughter just got married a couple of weekends ago and even though I was unable to attend as I was teaching in a conference the pictures have been precious to look at. The couple is one that has chosen to do it God's way from the very beginning. What a blessing to know that the testimony of this couple can and will bring glory to God through their marriage. Another reminder was as I was sitting in the hospital with a member of our church whose husband is pretty much at the end of his life. They have been married 59 years and to see the commitment of her as she sits with him, feeling helpless except for the fact she can hold his hand and pray for him. I commended her for her faithfulness and she said she was doing what she wanted to do and what was right to do. We talked about how so many people just run during the difficult days. She was being faithful to the very end because of her love and commitment to God and to her husband.

On the other hand I have talked to so many people who have just quit saying that they do not have any feelings for their spouse any more or maybe they have a desire to make it work but their spouse doesn't. The marriage is over. One man told me that he kept all of his promises that is why he was calling me on that occasion. I told him he didn't keep all of them. He didn't understand. I told him he broke his promise to God when he left his wife. He then changed his statement to "most of his promises." Did you know the divorce rate in the church was as high as outside the church? It might be a little higher.

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Why is that? I have heard that outside the church people live together and if it doesn't work out they just separate. Those couples are not counted. Many couples in the church are living together as well. I have even used that argument myself. I have been convicted of that recently. I am seeing people who have been married for several years, 10, 15, 20, and even more get divorces. Couples who have been faithful in church at some point of their lives, sometimes even to the end of their marriages. What is going on? Why do these divorces happen?

Let me try to answer these questions as simply as possible. I realize that marriage can be complicated. You have so many factors involved in the relationship between a husband and a wife. Just to name a few of the factors:

o Gender Differences
o Children
o Health/Age
o Finances/Jobs
o Extended Families
o Recreation/Friends

Obviously there can be many more factors than these listed. This list is just a sampling. You can add anything else you would like to add to that list. See how complicated taking two people and making them into one can be. Now if God says that He is making them into one flesh, doesn't it only seem fitting for the couple to focus on God to make their marriage work? I have been accused of saying that the only problem couples have is spiritual in nature. That might be true. I say that God is not necessarily the answer to every problem, but He has the answer to every problem.

I think that the main issue is that couples lose focus of the purpose of their marriage. The purpose of their marriage is NOT to make them happy. It is NOT to make them whole. The purpose of their marriage is to bring God glory. Our marriage is to be a representation of the bride of Christ. It is to show the wonderful intimacy of God's love for man as man shows that sacrificial love for his wife.

My joy comes from being who God wants me to be.

John 15:11 (ESV)
11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

I must be whole in Christ so that when God multiplies me with Lisa, He multiplies 1X1 to = 1. You see Lisa does not make me whole. Christ makes me whole. Christ makes Lisa whole. Therefore, when we got married and God then could make us one together by multiplying us together. We think our spouse has the responsibility of making us whole. That thought gives our spouse too much responsibility. Actually, it gives our spouse God's responsibility. We must rely on Christ to make us whole.

OK, so this wasn't just a short blog today. It is a long lesson on the purpose of marriage. This is my passion. This is why I believe that God has called me to help people to put their marriages back together. Their focus has to return to God. It has to be on whom God wants them to be in the marriage as well as whom He wants to be in their marriage. Let me conclude with this question: Do you realize that your marriage's purpose is to give God glory? Or do you think that your marriage's purpose is to make you happy? If it is the latter, your marriage is doomed to fail.

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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