Have you ever said “Yes” when you wanted to say “No?” Are you ever angry because your needs are ignored? Your self-esteem will soar when you stop being who you think you “should be” and become the shining star you truly are. The world is starved for your unique talents, so it’s essential that you manage your inner critic.


If you consistently strive to please other people, you have audios playing in the background of your consciousness. Your old tunes include:

  • “I can’t be myself. I have to be who they think I should be.”
  • “I’m afraid I’ll be rejected if I follow my heart.”
  • “They won’t like me if I stand up for myself and my beliefs.”
  • “I need to be accepted by other people.”
  • “It’s not safe to be bold or assertive.”
  • “I feel insecure if other people don’t approve of my actions.”

People pleasing is a reliable recipe for failure. Even if we please the other person, when we aren’t living our truth and meeting our own needs, we only gain conditional approval that can be withdrawn if we ever show our True Self. Sooner or later, usually at a very inconvenient time, our fake façade will be exposed.

People pleasing is born from insecurity and lack of self-respect. We waste time and energy struggling to squash our True Self into an unforgiving box that suffocates our Soul. Why would we do this? Because the box represents who we think someone else expects us to be, it feels safe.


Only when we’re true to ourselves do we radiate a confidence that other people respect, even if they don’t want to be best buddies because we don’t resonate with them.

Which of these two choices is yours?

  • Struggle to Please Other People. This option will zap your energy and destroy your self-esteem and peace of mind. You’ll struggle to maintain fragile friendships built on the lies of inauthenticity. You’ll constantly try to guess which direction to tilt each time a brisk wind blows.
  • Be Your Authentic Self. You’ll enjoy genuine relationships built on honesty and the courage to be vulnerable. The beautiful audios playing in the back of your mind will be confidently crooning, “This is who I am, world. I love myself too much to try to be who I’m not.” When you make this choice, you replace fear, inner conflict and self-sabotage with self-love and higher self-esteem.  

Peace of mind emerges effortlessly when you’re in integrity to yourself. When you live as Your Authentic Self, you learn to love all of your faults, bumps, bulges, warts and wrinkles.

Since you then approve of yourself, you’re so excited about living your personal life journey that you’re immune to the opinions of other people who throw verbal spears your direction. Then magic unfolds. Voila! Other people approve of you . . . or you no longer care.

Here’s a secret that will cause you to breathe a big sigh of relief. The people whose opinions you’ve been so concerned about are so busy judging themselves that they don’t have the time or energy to judge you.


No one else is qualified. Also, no one else deserves the special honor that your unique DNA has uniquely qualified you to enjoy. The more authentic you are, the more you’ll genuinely and easily connect with other people. You’ll enjoy loving, supportive personal and professional relationships that produce endless growth and joy.

Until you have the courage to stop hiding Your True Self under the veil of who you think you’re supposed to be, your light will be so dim that you’ll never grasp how brilliant you are. Once you decide to be genuine, the special light that only you can shine will shimmer with a radiance that will amaze you.

The first step is to manage your inner critic, the critical internal voice that tries to curb your personal growth with critical comments like, “You’re not good enough,” and “It’s not safe to show people Your Authentic Self.” Gain the joy of personal empowerment and happiness by discovering how to conquer your inner critic. 


  • Think about a personal or professional challenge you’re facing.
  • What does your inner critic say to you when you consider taking an intelligent risk?
  • What is the first step you want to take toward becoming Your Authentic Self and trusting that you’ll be richly rewarded for your courage?
  • If this sounds challenging, ask for help from a qualified, experienced coach.
  • Gain more clues from the award-winning book, “Conquer Your Inner Critic.” 
Author's Bio: 

© 2013. Excerpted with permission from the Bestselling Book, “Conquer Your Inner Critic” by Doris Helge, Ph.D., named “One of the Top Ten Coaches in America.” With over 20 years of experience, Dr. Doris has a proven track record that will help you Conquer your Inner Critic and Create Your New Life Story. Download your free ebooks and see helpful videos at www.ConquerYourInnerCritic.com.