Normal behaviour is rarely appropriate and often completely inappropriate if not totally bizarre. How could it be appropriate? Because normal behaviour is triggered automatically – you don’t have to think about it, you just react – by your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind is fine tuned to enable you react, using functionality known, in psychological circles, as automaticity. It is this ability that has got us so far as the apparently ‘superior’ species! However, as I said, normal behaviour is rarely appropriate – because the subconscious mind triggers your automatic reactive behaviour using pas experiences as its reference points. In fact, the normal subconscious mind is constantly focused on the past – your childhood years – and it uses this past ‘stored knowledge’ to dictate your automatic behaviour. With information that is so far out of date being used to enable you react, how is your behaviour going to be appropriate to what is actually taking place now?

How could it be appropriate when you consider that the normal person is permanently in this automatic reactive mode? It’s simply the way we are. On a good day, a normal person’s behaviour may well be mildly effective – that is, of course, in comparison to how effective you could actually be had you taken the trouble to pay attention and act, rather than react. But even at that, normal people only have good days now and again. It’s the normal everyday days – or ‘not-too-bad’ days – that have your life trapped in that repetitive, mundane, not-too-bad life – you know, the one where really great things rarely happen, the one where you’re unhappy in your work or the one where your relationship has gone flat – the ordinary stuff of everyday life. And on those everyday not-too-bad days, normal behaviour varies from less than effective to inappropriate to absolutely outrageous. And if you have noticed this in your own life – and you’re probably too close to the action to be able to make a reasonable judgement – look around you! People losing the head in traffic jams, people bullying their ‘subordinates’ at work or the boss who plays with their workers’ lives. Husbands who beat wives, wives who beat husbands – or just the ordinary not-too-bad feeling of ‘I wish I was doing something else’ and all the ineffective behaviour that that brings with it.

The problem is, however, that we tend to confuse our behaviour with ourselves – a fatal mistake that can lead us into recrimination, guilt, frustration, anxiety and even more inappropriate behaviour. You are not your behaviour. How could you be? Your behaviour is dictated by your personality and your personality isn’t you. Your personality is simply the sum total of all the bits and pieces of ‘stored knowledge’ that your subconscious mind is jealously guarding. Your personality has certainly little or nothing to do with you – there’s enough psychological evidence amassed over the last seventy years to prove this conclusively.

What’s my point? First of all, if you’re unhappy with some aspect of your behaviour – forget it, it’s in the past, the present moment offers you an opportunity to make a fresh start. If there’s something that you’ve done that has hurt others, however, go and undo the damage and then make that fresh start. But if your inappropriate behaviour has only damaged your own self-image then get over yourself, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get on with the business of living life appropriately and to the full, starting right now.

Easier said than done? Of course it is – you have an adult lifetime of cosying up to your personality or ego. You may even like your personality because, at least, it’s got you this far in life. But if that’s the case, be careful, you’re in love with smoke and mirrors – you are really something entirely different from your personality. You’ve got to site-step your personality to get at the essence of a you that is powerful beyond reason, able to soar to the very heights of effortless living, effortless happiness and success. This real you is lurking beneath the veneer of your personality – you will only find it by clearing your mind of all the noise that we know, from our daily experience of life, clouds our minds for almost every moment of our waking lives – distraction and useless thought.

To clear your mind, to unearth the real you that can take real action to change the course of your life, I recommend meditation. Your day should start with a few minutes meditation – preferably guided meditation for starters. Meditation doesn’t just clear the mind, it disciplines the mind and presents you with a self-evident truth – that, in everything that we do, in every moment of our lives, we have a choice as to whether to take action or to resort to reaction borne out of our personality. Our default setting is to react – it’s a default choice made for us by a subconscious mind that is normally out of control. Meditation gives the control back to you and provides you with the clarity of mind to consciously and deliberately make the choice for yourself. Meditation is liberation – a clear and focused mind is the essential tool for changing your behaviour and changing your life.

Author's Bio: 

Willie Horton has been enabling his clients live their dream since he launched is now acclaimed two-day Personal Development Seminars all the way back in 1996. His clients include top leaders in major corporations such as Pfizer, Deloitte, Nestle, Merrill Lynch, Wyeth, KPMG, G4S and Allergan together with everyone from the stay-at-home parent to sports-people. An Irish ex-banker and ex-accountant, he lives in the French Alps from where he travels the world as a much sought after motivational speaker and mentor. In 2008 he launched Gurdy.Net where is self-help seminars are now online. For more information visit Willie Horton’s Personal Development Website Gurdy.Net