As I was thinking about and feeling into the outcomes of some new goals that I am moving towards, I was reminded of what Leonard Nimoy read at the end of Star Trek II and saw the parallels.

I’ve found that when it comes to dreaming of a new future, budding entrepreneurial women wanting to start a business usually fall into one of these camps:

1) “That’s for other people. They can have it, but I can’t because of …” Immediately, the person goes right to judgment and believes somehow that they are not worthy of what they want so they don’t dare to allow themselves to want it. They actually give up on what they want before they even give that idea a little chance of survival. They have an inner judge that says they can only have just so much and that’s it. Self-love, self-worth and the self-image are fundamental to the quality of a person’s life and most of what one believes about themselves is so deeply ingrained in the sub-conscious that they aren’t even aware of it. Start paying attention to your self-talk and see if you find patterns of thinking other can have things that you can’t.
2) “I’ve never done that before so I couldn’t possibly do it; but maybe do this …” At that point, they select something small, but it’s not really what they want and it doesn’t really inspire them to take actions. This sets up a cycle of thinking they can’t achieve things because, in the past, when they weren’t thinking big enough to excite themselves into action; they didn’t achieve the desired outcome. They don’t see the connection between their thinking, their feelings and their actions. If we really don’t want something, then of course we will not be willing to do the extra stretch beyond our comfort zone or act boldly spontaneously doing something we haven’t done before. Instead of looking back and seeing that they didn’t make the efforts; they just see failures and think it means that they are a failure. This is untrue and it keeps them stuck where they are.
3) “I’m going to be/do/have … in …” In this case, I’ve seen people set such huge goals in a very short time frame for achievement; and because they don’t really believe they can do it, women entrepreneurs starting a business actually give up on it before they get started. Now this one is kind of hard to explain because I certainly believe in and support people in having big goals; however, I also know that we gain a lot of belief in our abilities to achieve when we take a big goal and break it down into success bites that inspire us to reach higher and higher. Every success encourages us to take the next step; and the next step. So if someone has a goal of making $1,000,000 in 3 weeks and has never made more than $20,000 in a year; will they really believe they can do the million in 3 weeks?
4) “I don’t know how I could do that.” In my opinion, this is the biggest reason people don’t go after what they want. They have been conditioned to believe that if they don’t know how they are going to to/do/have something; then they shouldn’t even try. This is where I like the second line of our quote above. Because if we just use the thinking part of our mind in going after a goal; it can only take us to where we been before. That’s all it knows. But if we tap into our mental faculties, such as imagination (creativity), intuition (being guided) and our will (focus/concentrate on the outcomes); then we will be inspired to explore new worlds, seek out new life forms (people) and civilizations (groups) and to boldly go beyond (taking bold new actions that are scary) what we’ve been and done before.

Where did we ever get the idea that we have to know exactly how we are going to achieve something that we’ve never done before and if we don’t know how we are going to do it; then we should never believe in ourselves or get into action going after it?

Why didn’t we decide to challenge that idea instead of accepting it as truth and acting on that ‘truth’ over and over again—without question? One of my mentors said this to me: “We are conditioned to rationalize our outcomes. We ration lies to ourselves and believe these lies to be true.”

How many ‘truths’ are we living that are actually holding us back from having the life of our dreams?

What step can you take today? Start dreaming! Dare to imagine yourself being/doing/having something much bigger than now. How do you feel? Does it energise you? What’s happening around you? What sights and sounds do you see? What happens if you make it bigger? How does that change your picture? Based on the images that you see, what is one step that you could take today to move towards that image? Feel your way forward versus trying to think your way forward.

Author's Bio: 

Susan Bagyura guides women entrepreneurs through their worries, fears and don't-know-to's of confidently starting and growing successful businesses and how to own a business.