Make no mistake…whining is important.

Each one of us has, at some time or the other, felt trod upon, unappreciated, been pushed around and/or taken for granted. We’ve experienced moments in which everything seems just too difficult to handle; moments in which we’ve felt helpless or even inadequate. Ultimately, all that these instances have to offer is physical, intellectual and emotional exhaustion.

Perversely, there is irritation at a world which seems to be blissfully unaware of our conflicts. Often, in these situations, obstinacy tends to set in and everything begins to look increasingly bleak. This, in itself, can exacerbate our condition and can elevate levels of stress. It all sounds quite dark and depressing doesn’t it? So, the question is how then does one cope with all of this turmoil? If you were thinking of buying a punching bag, I’d put the credit card away, for there is indeed a better solution…whining! Yes, that’s what I said – “whining!” It lets us air out our tedious stories and more importantly, it validates our aggravations. We also wrangle support and well, we feel good!

What is even better about whining is that it gives way to the next and more important step in freeing ourselves of pain. This step involves moving away from griping and taking action. That’s right. Overindulging is not a great thing – and that goes for whining too! While playing victim may seem helpful for a while, it will ultimately lead to the erosion of clear and concise thought. So, once you have whined to your heart’s content, do the more necessary and more important thing: take action.

Look at it this way…if we are whining, obviously something is amiss, but more importantly, something needs our attention. To dispel the stress gripping us, a pause, a few calming breaths and a cup of latte may be just what the doctor prescribed! We need to do this not only because the people around us will eventually get tired of our whining, but because we need to take the time to figure out what’s going on in our lives! Remember, we are but human, and we don’t need to lacerate ourselves for being vulnerable or for having momentarily caved in.

Now, by not taking a break from our sorrowful state and from talking about it day in and day out, we can potentially plunge ourselves into deep depression. This is serious and something we can do completely without. We know that anyone advising us is bound to further irritate and aggravate the situation. Nevertheless, there is one person that we can depend upon to rid us of our misery – that person is inside each and every one of us! Ultimately, we need to handle such situations ourselves.

So, you begin with a pause. You are important to yourself and so, you need to attend to yourself first. Our thinking becomes clearer when we are psychologically and emotionally more in control of ourselves. Then, you breathe! A good infusion of oxygen can really get those brain cells ticking, so never underestimate its importance. Lastly, you analyze. When you are emotionally more in control of yourself, you need to reflect on what exactly got you down. You will see that it really was not as dreadful as it felt. Placed in context, it becomes evident that the issue was eminently within your capacity to handle. Once you actually take the time to make conscious decisions, everything simply falls into place. These few steps act as instruments of change to bring about calm, controlled action and ultimately, they are the catalysts of peace.

However, let’s not go overboard with all of these exercises. That by itself would promote more stress! Instead, let’s change the scenario a bit. It is helpful to remember that when everything seems to be piling up before you, you need to take a step back and take some time off. Simply get away from it all! You will find that after doing this, you suddenly feel better and have a more resolute frame of mind…and voila! With this, you might just find a solution to your problem as well!

So, whine away, but don’t let it take away your shine! The sun is still bright, and waiting for you to notice it. There’s always time to go from a person who whines and mopes to one who shines and hopes!

Author's Bio: 

Nandita Mishra holds a Masters Degree in Social Science Counselling from the University of South Australia, Adelaide. She employs contemporary techniques, and infuses the strategies of cognitive therapy (within the framework of CBT) & person centered therapy in the counselling sessions.