Why I Always Loved Dating Women with Children

As a Dating and Relationship Coach I'd heard single moms bemoan the idea that men do not want to date women with children but let me share why I always loved dating women with children.

As a 40-year-old man having just gone through a divorce, I found myself thrust back into the dating scene. I realize now how unprepared I really was for this new adventure. I had been in a relationship and married for almost 15 years, so to discover how drastically the world of dating had changed only amplified how out of practice I really was. If it had not been for the internet, I would have had no clue how to navigate through the precarious pathways to meeting women again.

When I was in my 20's we had very different strategies when we wanted to be surrounded by single women. To find fun-loving females, bars and nightclubs were the venues of choice. Friday and Saturday nights were always an adventure for my friends and I to meet women, have a good time and of course get laid. As most men can attest to, in our 20's we were pretty much ruled by the testosterone surging through our bodies creating the sexual urges that drove us. After a long week at work, drinks and dancing were the highlight of my weekend. The idea of a relationship was actually the furthest thing from my mind, but something happened in my late 20's that altered that.

My circle of friends started to have life changing relationships and were getting married. One friend after the other met someone special and my girl chasing circle of buddies kept shrinking. In the back of my mind I started to think I had better jump on the bandwagon or I will get left behind. Sure enough, I met a nice girl, got engaged and the next thing I knew we were married and having children. Before I even had a chance to know myself I was knee-deep in family life.

What I did not realize at the time was how much of a rookie I was in the relationship department. I had no idea how to share my feelings, my heart or my time. I was selfish unaware and in no way prepared to be a good partner. It should not have come as a surprise to anyone that the marriage came to an end.

So now, here I am in my 40's and back out on the dating terrain once again! When I started this trek into online dating, my first thought was to date divorced women with children. This seemed like a natural progression since I was a divorced man with two young boys. I figured women in this situation would also have some battle scars just like me and there would be some common ground on which we could connect.

After moving out of the house I had shared with my wife and two boys, I found myself living in a Residence Inn. I had a fridge the size of a shoe box and only a microwave to cook my meals. I was lonely and in need of some attention. So I thrust myself out there into the wide world of internet dating and started to meet some women. It was challenging at first.

After all, I had to actually learn how to have a decent conversation over the phone with these gals. Once I got past the chit chat, it was time to set up the first meeting. To be honest this was quite difficult for me. I was no longer in my 20's in a bar impressing girls who were saturated in tequila. This time around I actually had to provide intelligent, witty and interesting conversation. No longer could I rely on the bartender to do that for me! It was a time of raw realization that I needed to up my game.

I will never forget the first relationship I had after my divorce. She was an executive at a pharmaceutical company and a divorced mother with a young son. Because our custody schedules were the same we had plenty of time to see each other. The chemistry and communication between us was good. The first few weeks were wonderful and we were getting along beautifully. By day she was an executive warrior, by night she was sweet, kind and loving. One of the characteristics I enjoyed about dating a mom was her nurturing side. My thought was that if she could take care of a child she could take care of a man. The other benefit was that her fridge would always be full. Oh my God, to have food in the fridge was great!

Being new to the bachelor-scene allowed me to see how badly I was lacking in domestic skills. Not only were my cupboards bare, but even my medicine cabinet was empty. Bottom line is that after my divorce I was a lost and needy man. In many ways I was so not ready for a serious relationship. Apparently this was not a hidden truth to my new girlfriend. About a month into the relationship she let me know that she had been seeing me through rose-colored glasses and that I was not in any way ready for a serious relationship. She was right.

It took me three months to realize that I was not ready for a full-blown relationship. And yet, I had learned a valuable lesson in my life. I had opened my heart for the first time to a loving, kind woman who allowed me to feel what it was like to make an intimate friend. I had also enjoyed a full refrigerator. As a dating and relationship coach for women, I hear all too often women declare that men aren't interested in dating women with children. Let me say now that is bunk. Based on my own personal experiences, this is one of the reasons I wrote “The Relationships Men Commit to and Why”.

The reason I am sharing this story with you today is to let you know that there are men out there who would love to date single moms. But here are three things for you to consider as that single mom on the dating scene:

#1. Men are rarely ready for a serious relationship when first coming out of a divorce. #2. Know what you want in a relationship and then be prepared to blend your lives.
#3. There is an abundance of men out there who love dating women with children.

So, when it comes to understanding men and children... When it comes to understanding men and family life... When it comes to understanding men and the nurturing of their bellies and their soul... For the single mom looking for love, know this: You are a beautiful package with many wonderful qualities and any man would be lucky to have you in their life. Thank you for allowing me to share my story and just to let you know, today I am in a wonderful relationship with a mother of two.