A touching true story of love

I would like to share a true story about my mother.

ENGLISH DOWRY
We are one of the rare English families to get a daughter-in-law with a dowry.

WE ARE NOT AMUSED
Brother number 1 wanted to marry a Gujarati girl but her family were not amused.

DANGEROUS DATE
However, Gujarati girl wanted to marry him, so her family summ/ned my Mum and (Step) Dad for an interview/interrogation.

UNCOMFORTABLE DISCOMFORT
After hours of interrogation from many family members – they agreed subject to some conditions.

LASTING IMPRESSIONS
I am always impressed with my mother for doing this - it is not easy to face a battery of people who really don’t want their relative to marry your son but she managed to convince them.

NO PEACE
At one point she wanted to go to the bathroom and she was not given any peace going there or coming out – when she came out she told me she was surrounded by people barraging her with questions.

The interrogation was in two parts – one was the men of the family and the bathroom incident were the women of the family.

IT WAS WORTH IT!
I have a lot of respect for my mum and the good example she has set us. By the way, my dad died when my mum was in her 30s – but that is another story. So my step dad is her second husband. I have a lot of respect for him that he would go through this in support of his wife. Looking back I think what my mum did was worth it and I would advise anyone in this situation – it is worth going through.

CONVINCING DOUBTS
They had a full Indian-style wedding along with the dowry.

THE OTHER SIDE
Years later when speaking to Nayna's father - he told me their side. This meeting was to explain to my parents why the two could not get married or should not get married. He said they had to deal with so many objections from his family. However, after meeting my mum and the determination of all concerned they relented subject to conditions.

FACT IS STRANGER THAN FICTION
Some of the conditions Westerners may not understand, accept or believe, and I have to say it caused concern to my brother such as that Nayna had to prostrate herself before every member of her family and seek forgiveness. I am impressed with Nayna too.

THE RESPECTFUL WAY IS THE BEST WAY
I am glad they did the marriage the proper way - seeking and getting parental approval (subject to conditions).

PARENTAL POWER
Parents are important - and I think all the parents here behaved in an exemplary manner.

1. My parents for doing something that was so not their culture, and to be honest quite offensive in principle to us. Some parents would never do that. The moral of the story: If you love find a way to support your child.

2. Nayna's parents for at least having enough respect for their daughter that they would at least meet my parents. Some parents would never do that. The moral of the story: If you love find a way to support your child.

Morals of this true story: Seek to understand what you don't understand; work sometimes with what you don't understand but seek to understand or appreciate it; and show support for your family even if you don't agree with what they are doing. Be flexible enough to accept conditions when there is a greater issue at stake than some of the conditions.

Love is the strongest and most fulfilling emotion possible

Author's Bio: 

An I CAN READ English specialist with over 20 years teaching experience, I have worked in the British Council and Linguaphone, well-known language institutions. I am a London-trained lawyer and have been the public affairs officer at the British High Commission, Singapore, as well as an editor in an international book publishing house and a national magazine. In 2006, I was appointed as an Ambassador of Peace (Universal Peace Federation and Interreligious and International Federation for World Peace). I am also co-author of two law books: English Legal System and Company Law, published by Blackstone, Oxford University Press. For enquiries about I CAN READ classes, email susanmckenzie2003@yahoo.co.uk. FOR DAILY BLESSINGS: www.abetoday.com