There are certain attitudes that you must learn and possess in order that you may appreciate self-confidence, happiness and success. You must learn the correct attitude to overcome the past, embrace the present, and plan for the future. Failure to possess any one of these concepts could lead to low self-esteem and personal disaster. You cannot afford to look at someone else and their success except to learn and to know that your success is possible. You must be responsible for yourself.

In this article, I will utilize the shovel, metaphorically, to illustrate how to avoid a wrong attitude. A wrong attitude toward self, disappointments, and undependable people will make you counter-productive in your life. Of course, you may already know where that counterfactual mind set leads.

The Shovel

A shovel is a tool usually used for digging and the removal of dirt. Additionally, it can be used for putting something underground and covering it. Some kind of shovel is imperative for the builder who must lay a foundation prior to beginning his/her ultimate task - the building. The builder uses this nifty tool to dig about until they have proportionately dug the outline for the construction of the building. There are several times when they may use a shovel. Among a few are:

1. move dirt
2. move debris, e.g., rocks, clay, etc.
3. level the dirt
4. bury something

The fourth use I will leave for another discussion. The building (your life) must begin with the proper tools to lay a good foundation. Without a good foundation your life would crumble.


You've heard it said before, "You are a unique individual." As such, you will have an attitude about everything in your life. Perhaps you have had an incorrect attitude about a matter that resulted in pain. Your attitude is the shovel. An incorrect attitude is synonymous to the misuse of the shovel. There are times when you must learn how to use the shovel; just as there are times when you must learn how to have the correct attitude. Things will happen in your life. These past negative situations will bring dirt (discomfort) to you. This dirt (the matter of discomfort) must be moved, feelings (debris) must be uncovered, and dead matters (unleveled dirt) must be forgotten. Failure to do any of these things can cause matters to fester and cause you great pain for a long time.

As people, we are not always ready to rid ourselves of matters that derail us because of an incorrect need for the pity of others. An incorrect need comes from an incorrect attitude about the matter for which we seek pity. Pity cannot be allowed to turn your life into a center for low self-esteem. You simply cannot count on other's pity for total help. They may disappoint you and let you down. Besides, people have their own matters to deal with or not to deal with. You will find that your search will still come to finding your way to a proper attitude for starts.


As aforementioned, people can let you down. They may supply the pity that you seek, however, it rarely gets past that, sometimes, abrogating feeling. Often, others can make you feel worse, causing you to reel back and access the mistake of going to them for pity in the first place. You would be hard pressed to find someone (some friends or relatives) who are experienced enough to actually help you with your stinging personal intrusions.

Many people are unable to see a professional about their negative circumstances that are causing such great pain. This may be true of you, however, there is still much you can do for yourself. It all begins with the correct attitude (the shovel). With the correct attitude, you can move the matter aside, unearth the sadness and enigmatic mind set, and seek to steady yourself in this dichotomy of the will.

People are full of their own philosophies; they may be either correct or incorrect. They can also be of great help. The only way you have of accessing the philosophy's validity is to compare it with your own. Remember, your philosophy may not be correct in and of itself. How can you know that other people's statements to you are true, beyond having a "feeling"? Everyone has a "feeling". The best thing you can do in that instance is to reflect on yourself objectively. Look at the desired outcome. If you end up where you want to be then it may be worth considering. The bottom line is that you must make a decision based upon your feelings, thoughts and experiences. How someone else would handle a situation may not be right for you! Seek your own answers. You'll be happier in the end. Some things simply come down to you, and you must dig your way out.
At this point, I digress and continue in "When It's Down To You, Get A Shovel (Part II).

Be Well!
Ellzie Ware Jr

Author's Bio: 

Ellzie Ware has served as a pastor and is now retired after more than 20 years of service. During that time and after he answered the purpose of Life Coach and Counselor, mainly helping people with low self-esteem and low self-confidence issues.

Ellzie has been a keynote speaker for over 15 years in various formats and conferences