When a Child is in Pain

It can be difficult when you have a child who’s in pain and whether the pain is acute or chronic, it often affects more than just the person who’s physically feeling it. The entire family can be affected. Pain can be debilitating, can cause kids to lash out, and it can result in kids not being able to focus their attention on things like school or chores.

As a parent, you naturally want to take care of your child and one of the hardest things to deal with is not being able to fix what’s ailing them. Even though pain is a part of everyone’s life and no one likes pain, it’s important to recognize it for what it is.

Pain can serve as a warning that you’re doing too much or have already done too much. It may be that you didn’t prepare your body properly for the task at hand and that resulted in you experiencing pain.

Pain can also be an indication that something just isn’t right physically and that’s pretty easily resolved. For example, headaches may be a sign that your child needs glasses and their head hurts because they’re squinting to read. If your child’s feet are hurting, the problem might be as simple as shoes that are too small or no longer provide adequate support for their activities.

And then illness can also cause pain. Fortunately, this is often short-term and you can provide some relief whether you give your child medication, cool towels, hot bowls of chicken soup, or extra kisses.

While you child being sick can be scary, it’s especially hard when your child is either so young, they can’t tell you what’s happening or when the illness is actually serious. Not only can illness or injury be worse than a scrape or a cold, but emotional injuries and challenges can also manifest as a result of physical pain. In such cases, you can continue to provide love, support, and even chicken soup, but you may feel like your efforts are of little help to your child.

Sometimes it’s possible to give your child more attention than you would normally when they’re in pain out of fear and love for them. You might allow them freedoms they wouldn’t enjoy if they were healthy. They get to sleep in, miss school, and skip chores. You make their favorite meals, give them ice cream for dinner, and let the dog sleep in bed with them, or allow them to watch extra television. You may also relax your expectations of a child because of their pain or illness.

There’s nothing wrong with cutting someone a little slack when they’re not feeling well. You know that when you have so much as a minor headache, it has an impact on your performance. And don’t you wish there was someone there to tuck you in with a hot bowl of chicken soup when you aren’t feeling well?

However, you need to be aware of how you treat your child when they’re in pain in order to avoid creating unhealthy patterns. Your Internal Guidance System (IGS) can help you recognize if you’re behaving in ways that might contribute to your child’s pain or otherwise limit your child. The last thing you want to do is have your child absorb the subconscious message that getting sick or being in pain is the only way they get to take time off.

As a parent, it’s important to be aware that pain can sometimes become an excuse to avoid something. This doesn’t mean the pain isn’t real. It’s possible for your child to manifest real pain and illness as a means of avoidance to get out of something that they’re dreading.
Rather than pampering your child when they aren’t feeling well, try looking at other options. You can investigate alternative ways for your child to manage pain. You know from personal experience that when you feel happy and calm, your own pain is reduced.

Can you apply that knowledge to help your child? Would your child benefit from quiet music, aromatherapy, or massage? Does fresh air and sunshine help alleviate symptoms or is a darkened room the right solution? Both you and your child can check in with your IGS to help discover the best solutions for the specific situation.
Many successful adults who overcame serious illness in childhood credit their parents’ unwillingness to treat them differently or as incapable.

Every person is unique with different abilities and challenges. By working with them to deal with their pain in a proactive way, you can actually empower your child and help them lead the best life they possibly can.