What makes an excellent flirt? What do you think of when you imagine yourself in a situation where you are getting ready to flirt with someone? What do you notice inside yourself in those moments? What do you feel self-confident about and where do you feel you need help?

Here are some things to think about:

  • Flirting is a form communication that verbally and non-verbally expresses your interest in the 'beautiful person' in front of you. Excellent flirting requires excellent communication skills. Words are a flirtatious woman's best friend. Becoming aware of the language you use to express yourself may be the first place to start. Communicating directly and honestly, as well as using ambiguity to offer your wit and sense of humor is a skill you can learn. Asking open-ended questions (not yes/no), being aware of non-verbal cues (your own and the ones you are receiving) and listening with all of your senses (not just your ears) are at the heart of good flirting.
  • A great flirt is playful and adventurous; open to keeping things light and whimsical. Even if your flirting has an end in mind (a date, a relationship, marriage), in the moment it's important to....stay in the moment and enjoy yourself. Being charming is a skill -- the more you play and laugh at yourself and with others, the easier you make it on the person you are courting with your attention.
  • Be a good connector. Great flirts are effective at making connections with others. Take a deep breath, make eye contact, smile and say 'hello'! Somehow New Englanders in the freezing cold of winter have taken to looking down and not smiling. Let's spread some joy by simply saying hello with a smile!
  • A good flirt makes others around them feel good about themselves. And that in turn, cycles around to feeling good about ourselves! Flatter, compliment, appreciate others as much as you can. A friend of mine told me a story once of how he set up a hot chocolate and muffin stand in front of his home once/week for the garbage collectors to enjoy on the job. To me, this is one of the most generous acts! We all have a lot more gratitude to share with ourselves and others. A good flirt is good at flattering others.
  • And last, but not least, a good flirt notices the little things. She pays attention to the details, remembers important things that were said and is able to gracefully bring them around again. Guess what? The object of your desire feels heard and met; and therefore, appreciative!
  • So today, smile, pay attention and speak up! Flirting only happens if you take action and make today that day!

Author's Bio: 

Robyn Vogel is a psychotherapist and an expert at flirting! She loves love and has been helping women fall in love with themselves and others for the past 19 years! The butterflies in the stomach at first attraction, the intense joy of mutual expression and the depth of human emotion - all fuel her passion to assist others in creating the relationships they desire. In 2009, Robyn launched a new phase of her Boston-based psychotherapy practice, Flirting With Heart providing relationship counseling and coaching. She is successful at helping others build confidence, become naturally flirtatious and attract the right person. More information can be found at www.RobynVogel.com.