What to Do If Your Family Disapproves of Your Mate

Regardless of how much you love your partner, if your family is not too fond of your partner—or worse, despises your partner—it could lead to the demise of your relationship. Fortunately, there are ways that you can help your family and your partner find the reasons for the conflict between them and resolve their issues.

Prior to attempting communication with your parents about the issue, remember to consider the source of their disdain. Your parents love you and want the best for you, so they simply want to make sure your partner is as great as you are. Your job is to convince them of such. Before talking with your parents, or disapproving family members or friends, think of all of the reasons why you love or care for your partner. What makes them a special person? How do they make you feel? How do they contribute to making you a better person? What do they contribute to the relationship? Once you have considered all of the positive things that your partner brings to the table, think of the reasons that your family members have stated that they do not care for your partner. If they have not specifically stated why they do not like your partner, take time to think of the possible reasons why they do not care for your partner. Do the positives seem to outweigh the negatives? If not, continue to formulate your argument. When you feel as though you have a strong argument to support your partner, it is time to discuss your relationship with your parents. If you cannot think of good reasons why you should be with your partner, your parents may be right, and it may be time for you to end your relationship.

Do not attempt to talk to your parents about your relationship when emotions are heightened during an argument. Carefully plan your discussion. Let your parents know your intent. Tell them that you know they have concerns about your relationship with your partner and you would like to talk about those concerns with them. Although you have prepared for the discussion, approach the conversation with an open heart, mind and ears. Listen to what they have to say, even if you do not want to hear it, and even if you have heard it before. Then bring up the points you have previously formulated. Even if the conversation ends at the same point it began, with your parents disapproving of your mate, they will surely appreciate your effort.

At the end of the conversation, tell your parents that you would like to turn over a new leaf, if they are willing. Invite them to dinner, or any other conversation-centered activity, with you and your partner. The more your parents are around your partner, the more they will (hopefully) warm up to him or her.