In some people's minds, having men and women have five children together can be troubling. But let this man and five different women have one child each, and they would be willing. So the idea of polyamory-the term describes more than one romantic partner-is exciting.

In a poly relationship, a couple decides that they will give each other the freedom to meet, flirt and connect with others. Sometimes, they may permanently invite another person to join the relationship as a threesome.

But it's not as simple as finding a third woman you all like. In fact, according to Dr. Elisabeth Shef, a professional witness, speaker, and coach of Polygamy, author of Polygamy Next Door, couples often enter the polygamy community in anticipation of finding one Bisexual women join their ranks. She said it was called "unicorn hunting."

It was for this intent that Shef's ex-husband introduced her to the idea of polygamy. He wanted another woman to sleep with him, but he didn't particularly want her to see other men. In the poly community, this is obviously a cliché.

Shef told Business Insider: "She is called a 'unicorn' because she is so rare and almost fabulous." "He thought he was avant-garde, where we could let us both marry a wife together.

"It turns out that this is the fantasy of every straight man. It doesn't work well in the poly community. When he doesn't get what he wants, he loses his temper and doesn't want to do it again."

She said that when the couple couldn't find a unicorn, it was common for the woman to actually start enjoying the freedom of polygamy. She may be reluctant to try at first, but it turns out she is the one who prefers it.

"The couple's woman has found someone else she can associate with, and the man realizes that he is not the center of attention he (he thinks) should be, and thinks 'This is not as interesting as I thought,' Chef "These couples are either furious or some of them return to monogamy ... and her influence may be much greater than in the past. “But if she really likes it and he can't stand it, they will break up."

Remember-everyone feels
Alex * has multiple relationships with his wife. They were monogamous for a long time, but ended up making friends with many multi-married couples, which became normal in their social circles.

He told Business Insider that he did not know how well a couple was actively looking for two women.

"I really don't think there is a consistent way of thinking, and people can solve these problems in many ways," he said. "But among my friends, 'unicorn hunting' is often suspected and despised."

He added: "At least the stereotype is that the unicorn hunting couple wants to see their partner as an object in their relationship." "They want someone who fits their life and their relationships-maybe anyone, their gender, sexual orientation, and availability can be restored-they can adapt to their relationship without having to consider the needs and human perspective of the person they are looking for.”

In other words, it looks a lot like people who also want to eat cake without actually considering the feelings of others. This is how she felt when her ex-husband first proposed the idea.

"My gut feeling is that couple looking for a unicorn may not take my thoughtful and compassionate approach to polygamy," Alex said. "But like I said, it's a stereotype and people are welcome to do any work for them, right?"

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