Narcissistic supply is the term that describes extraction of attentionfrom a narcissist’s victim. Narcissistic supply is a dynamic of ‘I win, you lose’, because when the narcissist extracts supply from another individual they are on top.

The extraction of narcissistic supply can occur without a victim realising they are being mined. Less intimate people are charmed by the narcissist in order for the narcissist to receive accolades, recognition and admiration for the narcissist’s knowledge, aesthetic appearance or deeds. Narcissistic supply can also relate to the physical as well as non-physical, and the narcissist may charm non-aware individuals into handing over resources, money or favours.

When people are intimately connected and hooked to the narcissist, and don’t have powerful emotional or practical boundaries, this person may provide a great deal of A-grade narcissistic supply to the narcissist. This level of narcissistic supply can be in the form of severe emotional pain and anguish which allows the narcissist to feel omnipotent and ‘God-like’, as a result of affecting another individual at that level.

When a person is providing a narcissist with a great deal of narcissistic supply, that person will lose their own vital self-esteem, because their energy is being drained out to the narcissist. The narcissist needs to do this to individuals that he or she can extract narcissistic supply, simple because the narcissist has very little, if any inner resources to create their own healthy emotions.

Without narcissistic supply, the narcissist is a shell. Narcissists need narcissistic supply like a junkie needs heroin. This is why narcissists generally have many sources of narcissistic supply lined up, and will keep previous love partners on a hook, in order to receive narcissistic supply when sources are low. Narcissists enmesh with victims expertly, and by controlling them create a constant source of supply.

This is why, if you feel terrorised and emptied out by someone in your life who lacks a conscience and empathy, there is a high probability that you are being used as narcissistic supply.

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