What impact does donating to others have on our ego?

Param Pujya Dada Bhagwan, the Enlightened being, explains what exactly is ego:
“If you were to ask a social worker, “Who are you?” he would say, “I am a social worker.” That is precisely what he would say, isn’t it? Or would he say something else?

So to say, “I am a social worker” is egoism.

Whereas if I were to ask this man here (one who has attained Self-Realization), “Who are you?” he would say, “For identification purposes in the world, I am John, and really speaking I am a pure Soul.” Now, that is without egoism!

The ego of a social worker is for a good cause, but it is an ego nonetheless.”

So similarly, the ego of donating to others too is for a good cause, but it is an ego nonetheless.

Param Pujya Dadashri further explains the impact of the activity done on our ego:
“If one’s ego were to be used for a bad cause, then he would be considered a demon! And if the ego were to be used for a good cause, then he would be considered a celestial being. The ego is still an ego. The ego implies that one has to wander life after life. And the moment the ego comes to an end, liberation can be experienced right here.”

It means as long as the ego has not come to an end, no matter whether we donate to others or do something else, as a result of whatever we do, we will have to take birth life after life.

When one does some good work, the ego arises within that, ‘I did it!’
This egoism of doership inevitably arises. If one does not have that egoism, then there is no problem. However, one cannot refrain from having egoism, can he?!

So here, Param Pujya Dadashri suggests,
“When you do some good work and the egoism arises because of it, you should immediately tell whichever Lord or God you believe in, ‘Oh God, I do not want to have egoism, yet it happens, so forgive me!’ Do just this much (for now). Can you do this much?”

Now, the sympathy is natural, yet one has the egoism that, ‘I was so sympathetic!’
When one sees someone in distress, one feels like donating some money to them and thus be useful to people. Internal feelings arise.

However, Param Pujya Dadashri enlightens us to the fact that,
“There may be feelings of pity towards someone, empathy towards another, and all of these are indeed things one has brought in one’s character (as karmas from the past life. Hence, it is natural).”

Whatever karmic stock one had filled into his prakruti (character) in the past life is the stock that comes out from him in this life. There is no effort on our part in doing this donation, it’s just the unfolding karma that is making the donation happen. Yet, we believe in our mind, ‘I am doing it.’ To believe, ‘I am doing it,’ is an illusion. That verily is egoism.

Realizing ‘who am I’ Brings an end to the Ego
Param Pujya Dadashri advises, “In that [whatever he is doing], one has the egoism of, ‘I did this.’ So now what a person should do is, realize ‘Who am I?’ One should make efforts towards that, and then all the puzzles will be solved. Thereafter, puzzles no longer arise. And when puzzles no longer arise, one starts becoming independent.”

When Akram Gnani, the Enlightened One, imparts the knowledge of the Self (Self-Realization) to us, we realize that, “I am a pure Soul.”

To see and know alone is the function of the Soul, the real ‘I’
Even after receiving Self-realization, we will certainly continue to donate to others because that is the prakruti (characteristic) we have come with; it is a result of the karma that we have bound earlier in the past life. But that donation will be pure as there will be no contamination of ego in it.

Currently, the donation to others causes karmic bondage. The result of that is merit karma, and not liberation. Even a shackle of gold (merit karma) is surely bondage, isn’t it?! But after Self-Realization, we have the awareness that, “John (you may insert your name here) is separate and the Soul is separate. John is giving a donation and I, the pure Soul, am only seeing and knowing what John is doing.’

Param Pujya Dadashri states, “After attaining Self-realization, no matter what happens to others, you will not feel sad, you will have compassion. And consequently, their unhappiness will go away. At present, you experience pity imagining, ‘What must the other person be going through? What must he be feeling?’ You feel pity towards him. Such pity always gives you unhappiness. Where there is pity, there is always bound to be egoism. Without the emotion of pity, the prakruti would never do service (or give donation); however, after attaining Self-realization, you will have a sense of compassion.”

Nevertheless, as long as one has not attained the Self, an obliging nature should definitely be maintained, and hence one must donate to others generously and graciously. But one should always bear in mind that real donation is that in which there isn’t the slightest awareness that, ‘I am donating to others.’ Otherwise, one keeps roaming around with the belief that, ‘I am a donor.’ This very belief is called ego, and more the ego, more is the suffering one has to undergo.

So, let’s go to the Akram Gnani and from Him, attain Self-Realization. This will help put an end to our sufferings first, after which we can spend everything we have, our mind, speech and body, for the well-being of others.

To know more: https://www.dadabhagwan.org/self-realization/