Have you ever been misunderstood, taken the wrong way, or categorized and stereotyped incorrectly? Find out why this happens and what you can do to be perceived correctly by those around you.


Essentially, you define yourself to those around you by the words you use. People do judge you by the words that come out of your mouth. Your ability to communicate—or lack thereof—is what ultimately defines you in the eyes of those around you.

I remember a time in college where I gained a reputation for being cold and distant. This puzzled me greatly since I neither felt I was cold toward others or intentionally distant. The problem was the manner in which I spoke. Because I was shy, I spoke in short clipped statements that conveyed a lack of concern and interest. Neither was true, but the fact remains that I defined myself a certain way by the way I communicated to others.

How do you determine a warm, friendly individual? It is by the words he or she uses. Certainly a smile helps, but the words he or she speaks is what resonates with your soul. You immediately judge them friendly by the friendly words they speak. The same is true for you. You may be shy and insecure and perhaps struggle with expressing yourself and therefore are judged to be stuck-up, proud, or distant.

In addition to how your words define your personality, your words also define other aspects of you. Here are some things to remember:


Are you trustworthy, willing to commit, truthful, or dependable? You may feel you are and yet have a reputation of just the opposite. These character aspects are often determined by the words you use. If your words do not match your actions, it is your words that are judged and the verdict is passed upon your character.

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘My word is my bond’? Nothing defines your character more than when your words verifies, establishes, and determines your actions. It is true that people will remember your deeds, but the words that drove those deeds will often define those deeds to others.


Treatment of others is based largely on how another person is perceived. If you are thought of as a troublemaker, others will treat you accordingly. If you are known as a liar, people will treat you accordingly. If you are thought to be selfish, people will treat you according to that perception.

Since your words often define both your personality and character to others around you, those same words will define how you are treated by them. That is not to say that everyone will treat you in the same manner, but that your words have had an impact on how they react to you.


Learn to communicate effectively. Communication is a skill that can be learned. Wielding words well will help establish good relationships and help define yourself in a manner that you wish others to perceive you as.

Author's Bio: 

Greg S. Baker is a Pastor, Counselor, and Author specializing in building and strengthening relationships. He is the author of ‘Fitly Spoken’ a book on developing communication and social skills.

For more books and resources on how to communicate better, express yourself, and strengthen social skills, please visit our website at: http://www.fitlyspoken.org

See our Christian Article directory for more articles: http://articles.fitlyspoken.org